A thought

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I've been having this thought lately...well, actually, it's a very troublesome thought. It seems like I have discovered a way to somehow undermine and destroy my special interests...now I feel this thought has gotten out of control, and I really have to struggle to repress it. It's eroded away my special interest in politics/economics, though the special interest subject of politics/economics is still there. It's pretty much an empty shell of what it used to be. It's like I'm still interested in it, but if I like view an article on the economist for example, I find it interesting and maybe even engrossing, but I don't have the desire to read more articles, it's like I have to force myself to.

So basically, this thought is about honing in, trivializing, and then maybe forcing myself to feel that the special interest(s) is/are stupid and pointless. It's hard to describe, but that's pretty much it. It's extremely potent, I have found. I keep being told that this is merely OCD, but unlike regular thoughts, it feels like this thought actually has power.

So I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a purgatory-like zone where I don't really have a special interest, but all I can hone in and focus on is politics/economics. I don't know if this is maybe because I am outgrowing Asperger's (if I have it), my OCD meds., or just a weird mental state that I can't seem to get my way out of, or maybe some combination of those factors.

Either way, I feel like I'm stuck. If anybody can relate to this and/or offer advice, it'd be greatly appreciated.

I know the post seems odd, but I am in need of advice.

Thanks!

Generally it's depression that keeps my intense interests at bay. I wonder if this is what's damaging yours as well. Passions wither quickly when irrigated with toxic thoughts.

Take a break from it for awhile
and if you feel like it,
come back relaxed and fresh.
Or maybe find something new.
Either way, an interest should be enjoyable,
not forced.

A rule I've gone by, particularly when it comes to Star Trek fandom is,
"If it's not fun, why do it?"
I actually did take a break from the Star Trek scene for many years.
Came back for awhile, and am now perhaps phasing out again
as far as adventuring with starships goes ...
or at I'm least shimmering translucently ...
preferring, I suppose, the Continuum to starships ...
it's a big universe out there,
much to explore.