Tocophobia and ASD

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Hi all, I'm writing a blog (that I might turn into a book in the future) about tocophobia. Here is the link: https://tocophobiaovertea.wordpress.com/blog/

The blog gives info about tocophobia if you are unsure as to what it is. I'm researching the link between ASD and tocophobia. My psychologist mentioned the link briefly in her latest book, but I want to know do you have tocophobia? If so, tell me your experiences if you feel comfortable doing so. I would love to hear your stories and find out more about the link between tocophobia and ASD.

If you would like me to share your story on my blog (and in my book) just let me know.

Also I would like to know your gender, I'm curious if males can have tocophobia or is it just a female thing?

Thanks, Briony.

I don't actually feel the fear is that irrational. Pregnancy and childbirth are pretty tough things to go through. In the old days, quite a few women died in childbirth.

It definitely is a rational fear, but I feel that you are misinterpreting tocophobes; the phobia is so severe in some women that it would mean their death if they ever found out they are with child. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, I'm just telling you the truth.

Well...you learn something new every day.

I believe my niece has this and she has expressed her disgust about pregnancy and the way she acts about it, she acts like she is afraid of it and creeped out by it. She told me if she is ever going to have kids, she wants to adopt because pregnancy, eeek. She is NT.

I used to worry about pregnancy but I don't think it was strong enough to a degree that is was a phobia. I just didn't want to get any stretchmarks and ruin my body because of so many horror stories I have heard about what babies do to your body aftermath. But I sure did not look down there for a while nor feel down there because I feared what i was going to see and feel. I felt too creeped about it because I tore down there twice.

Perhaps you should have put a trigger warning, certain words and descriptions freak me out, that's how severe my tocophobia is; just a heads up for next time. I have ASD and I have known of at least two other women who have tocophobia who aren't on the spectrum so it does happen. I'm just researching the links between ASD and tocophobia for my blog. Thanks for sharing.

Yes, it is directed at you, sorry I should have made that clear. The p- word is very triggering and your descriptions are too graphic. I know you didn't mean to offend but I am a little. If you had read my blog you would have realised that tocophobes can be triggered by certain words, etc. I make it very clear that my blog should be a safe haven for tocophobes to discuss their phobia, i.e. no triggers or at least warning first.
I hope this is clear; I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you or be harsh, but I have to be honest.

I don't think it's related to ASD, but I do have anxieties about being pregnant. I want a baby, but I'm scared of getting pregnant. People say I can adopt, but I want my own child...but I'm scared of getting pregnant.

Joe90: perhaps you would better off with a surrogate? Then it's biologically your own child but you don't have to go through the p-- process. How did you get tocophobia? How long have you had it?

It's normal to want to avoid doing something that causes excruciating pain. Just because most women want to endure that process in order to have a child doesn't make it pathological for those who don't. I don't think it's a phobia. It's more likely the lack of child urges.

I was just the opposite.
I was pregnant at 18 and didn't know anything about having a baby but I wasn't afraid.
I didn't even know there was pain involved or what to expect. I knew I would have a baby in 9 months but I didn't know about labor and contractions or what would happen. I don't think I thought that far in advance because I didn't even wonder about it.
At 7 months I started to get bad pains and took a taxi to the hospital. they told me about labor and I had a miscarriage.
I had a baby 3 years later and I wasn't afraid and I was silent during labor.

I'm not happy with this thread; I'm not getting the results of research that I want and women who have had children posting in here are causing me a lot of trauma in their responses by going into way too much depth; have some respect! If you had read my blog you would know that censoring is the best way to go about it or if you have something important (but traumatising to say) then please write 'Trigger Warning' at the beginning of your post.
And btw it is a real and rational phobia! As I said before if I found out that I was going to have a child I would first get an abortion and then try to kill myself; that is how serious tocophobia is, so have some respect for those suffering from it!

OP, I realize lack of maternal urge is not same as toco. That said, I am 35 and have never wanted kids. The fear of accidental pregnancy developed gradually, not due to trauma. Not too long ago, I was so consumed by the fear that I abstained for an embarrassingly long time. The idea of something growing in me is highly bothersome. I also fear no matter which option I took upon having an accident, I would regret it. I would in fact like a tubal ligation, but I know my OCD well enough to know I would immediately obsess over the statistical outliers. May give CBT a go! Again, not sure my fear qualifies as toco.

So the only reason I don't have any desire to get pregnant is because I have tocophobia and ASD, and therefor it is abnormal and a catastrophe if I do not bring yet another child into an overpopulated world full of hate and misery?

Why don't people just tell me to go kill myself like the trolls always do?

I think the feminists are conflating a bodily function with a social issue. As a paleo-conservative, so do I.

I have no fear of pregnancy or childbirth, in and of themselves. I think fertile and motherly women know their physical status, and, as disrespectful as this sounds, see many of the same behaviors in social farm animals. I am reminded of a scene, from The Education of Little Tree, when he gets in trouble for saying that deer are mating. I find that women can be somewhat active, depending on which trimester. When this would be detrimental, it no longer comes easily. The situation speaks for itself. I consider it intuitive and natural, as a matter of objective morality.