Do you enjoy social situations?

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#11 on this list claims that people on the spectrum have a bit of social anhedonia going on, to which I relate, do you?

I'm not saying I hate socializing, and I'm not saying I don't enjoy it at all, but I am saying I'm asocial/enjoy it less than other people. Having this is awful because I want to enjoy socializing, and life by extension, but I often don't. I also usually feel mildly depressed after going out, like all the energy has been drained from me, y'know?

My life is sh***y enough already, and this is just making it worse; at this stage in my life I should be building up a social life and just going out and living my life, but for various reasons I can't. Ever feel like you don't have anything to live for?

What can you do to overcome this?

Sometimes I wonder if to at least some degree some if of us are just being too hard on ourselves.

I think a lot of the younger people on this site are definitely being too hard on themselves. There's even more pressure on people in their teens and twenties to be "social" than there was twenty years ago, and some people just aren't wired for it. There's a really toxic idea, that's been bouncing around for a long time now, that you aren't really living unless you're socialising. It's utter bull****. If making friends is important to you, find people who share your interests. Get good at the things you enjoy doing so that those people see you as an asset. You might never be "popular" socially, but you'll meet some good people along the way and you will have found something to live for.

Feeling drained by socializing but still enjoying it a bit suggests that you need to have less stimulating social experiences. Assuming you haven't done any of this stuff already: Try following the experiences of and advice for introverts and seek out quiet, predictable, scheduled activities with one other person or a small group. Stick to activities that are important to you and don't get dragged into socializing for its own sake.


No, you don't need to go out to live your life. Going out to places can be taxing unless you go out to something like a library or the woods. Thought it can be difficult to do so, you can meet people online and have people over to your place.


Yes, I recently felt that way because of my lack of a girlfriend and other difficulties in my life. However, I've decided to focus on finding ways to socialize that are consistent with who I am and what I want, and it gives me hope.


Probably nothing if you are introverted.

Do you really want to overcome it? Do you really need to? You have to know what you want, your limitations, and what you are willing to do to get what you want, then make a plan based on those factors.

Depends on the situation. If it's a social chit-chat/gossip situation, no. If it's a serious discussion on my special interests and I'm included (even if it's something simple, you've probably just made up to make me feel included) and looked down upon for being "young" or bullied, then yes. I volunteer at a vet's office and one vet has me to things I can't help but feel he made up on the spot to make me feel included; but I couldn't be more appreciative of the effort.

Just because someone is not autistic doesn't mean they enjoy socializing.

I believe having autism does NOT dictate whether you will be introverted or extroverted or whether you enjoy or hate socializing. All ASD means is you have difficulty being naturally good at Socializing

There are plenty of non-autistics who HATE the company of others and prefer a life of solitude. I know I'm surrounded by people who would much rather stay home then go to a party.

I relate more to you. Socializing drains me, although i enjoy it i dont have as much of a social drive as some people do. But at the same time i get lonely and seek out my friends and family just to talk and hang out with them.

Although i really dont like big parties or going to bars and clubs. I also would rather not go dating and have a boyfriend/girlfriend, i dont like kissing or hugging

I've always been hard on myself because of not going out and having drinks with people on Friday and Saturday nights.
I remember older people used to say to me "you're young, you should be out at the bar partying!" It used to upset me.

I did feel like I was missing out, because it must be fun to go out with a group of friends, have a few drinks and get tipsy and have a laugh while meeting new people as you went along. But I've never been bothered about drinking (also I have emetophobia and so I'm scared of feeling too dizzy or sick), and I am quiet and have social anxiety, which makes socializing at bars harder.

Also I seem to act like each evening is going to be my last night in ever for some reason, so when being invited out to a late-night party I think "OMG I was planning on staying in and going to bed early tonight" even though that is what I do every night.

of course not, i'm autistic.
seems like almost a joke question lol..

I think I can in the right situation but more times than not I find it draining and rife with anxiety. I am an avoidant person so that is what I do more times than not.

You misunderstand the nature of autism if you think having the condition necessarily entails disliking social situations.

I enjoy some social situations. Maybe like 5% of the ones I have... Most people are just boring to talk to.

I used to not mind them. As I was completely oblivious to what was actually going on.
Now I don't even bother, I don't have anxiety or anything.
Just accept that I will screw it up.
It's better if I interact with one person at a time. Even then they quickly notice I'm not normal.
I do try to not be intense, bore them, and not be weird. But I do strange body language things I'm not aware of, and don't read much into their body language or insinuations.
Which is hilarious in hindsight, I say things in response to their insinuation - that completely stumps them.
eg a girl will say 'maybe' and I'll take that as she is uncertain and a rejection of an invitation. Yet the way she says it she mean't 'yes'

It's better for me if I be aloof and play it cool - I get way more respect being a mystery.

No, I don't. Not usually. If it's only a few good friends for a short amount of time, I can enjoy it. Otherwise I get tired of it very quickly.

I like people from a distance; when they're too close to me i get annoyed/irritated

I enjoy being social when it's with the right people.

I might have to get a job. And if they invite me to party/pub and I will say no.
Then, if they question why I do not want to I'll say "I'm antisocial" - I litterally can't wait to see their reactions. Because NT's would never ever say something, to be antisocial is... like having Leprosy (back in the day).
I'm not really antisocial, I'll just say that for the laugh, it will be easier than having to explain & defend my personal preferences (which NT's always demand, if it is against the "norm").