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Joe90
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04 May 2017, 6:16 pm

Next Friday I'm going on a trip to a theme park. I'm really excited about it, as I haven't been to a theme park for years. But something's bothering me. We are going in a car, driven by a 20-year-old. This 20-year-old has not long passed his driver's test, and is known to be a show-off when driving. He likes booming loud music playing in his car, and his friend says he speeds, especially with girls in the car.
I'm not too comfortable about this. As a worrier, I keep imagining having a tragic accident, as it is so common for show-off boy drivers to end up dead or seriously injured in a car accident, due to careless speeding.

I have told the others I am going with how I felt, but they just said it'd be fine. It's about an hour and a half drive. This lad wants to drive there so badly, he's too insistant and won't let anyone else drive. So I can see where this is going. :(


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SaveFerris
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04 May 2017, 6:31 pm

Joe90 wrote:
So I can see where this is going. :(


No you can't , your catastrophizing due to your anxiety. Does the driver know about your anxiety ? , if not you should have a quiet word and tell him you are a nervous passenger and you would really appreciate if he helped you feel at ease otherwise it would spoil your day.

On another point can you not see the irony of your dilemma , you are worrying about a white knuckle ride getting you to a destination full of white knuckle rides.


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ASPartOfMe
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04 May 2017, 7:44 pm

I would advise to go by your instinct no matter whose feelings get hurt.

In university, once I was a long way from where I wanted to go and in a place with no public transportation. Against my instinct, I went in this guys car. He was drunk as a skunk. The guy drove in lanes opposite of traffic, on the grass. It was a miracle we did not get into an accident.

I am having this problem with my mom. When I was in her car I noticed too many "elderly" issues for my comfort. She only drives local and nothing has happened yet. She has said my refusal to get in her car has hurt her feelings. I feel absolutely horrible about hurting her feelings because after reading about the abuse so many WP members have received from their parents I appreciate her more than ever. But I realize more then feelings might be hurt if something happens.


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EzraS
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04 May 2017, 8:55 pm

I wouldn't get in a car with him and I'd make it clear it's because I consider him to be an unsafe driver. I don't think anyone has the right to screw around while driving a car. But you have the right to demand a safe driver who won't put you at a high risk of getting killed or seriously injured.



shortfatbalduglyman
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04 May 2017, 10:02 pm

Next Friday I'm going on a trip to a theme park. I'm really excited about it, as I haven't been to a theme park for years. But something's bothering me. We are going in a car, driven by a 20-year-old. This 20-year-old has not long passed his driver's test, and is known to be a show-off when driving. He likes booming loud music playing in his car, and his friend says he speeds, especially with girls in the car.
I'm not too comfortable about this. As a worrier, I keep imagining having a tragic accident, as it is so common for show-off boy drivers to end up dead or seriously injured in a car accident, due to careless speeding.

I have told the others I am going with how I felt, but they just said it'd be fine. It's about an hour and a half drive. This lad wants to drive there so badly, he's too insistant and won't let anyone else drive. So I can see where this is going.
___________________________________________________________________

then do not go.

your post does not contain enough information. are they physically forcing you to go? did they extort you? did they hire you to go?

is there some reason why you can't just decide not to go?



Joe90
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05 May 2017, 2:47 am

I've really been excited about going, and I really want to go. Plus I have already paid for my ticket, and it's too late for refunds. So no, I can't just not go.

I think rollercoasters are much safer than busy roads in a car driven by a young show-off. This theme park is about 30 years old and has a good reputation.


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NikNak
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05 May 2017, 3:53 am

Is it possible for you to get public transport and meet your friends at the park? Otherwise I think you need to talk to the driver and get some assurance from them that they won't speed or take risks, or as a group decide on someone else to drive who will do so safely and responsibly.

Catastrophizing aside, you aren't wrong to be nervous about his driving. It's selfish and irresponsible, and dangerous to drive the way you've described.


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ASPartOfMe
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05 May 2017, 4:18 am

NikNak wrote:
Is it possible for you to get public transport and meet your friends at the park? Otherwise I think you need to talk to the driver and get some assurance from them that they won't speed or take risks, or as a group decide on someone else to drive who will do so safely and responsibly.

Catastrophizing aside, you aren't wrong to be nervous about his driving. It's selfish and irresponsible, and dangerous to drive the way you've described.


I agree with the above wholehartedly. Blasting music is distracting, having ones mind thinking about impressing girls is distracting. This is a matter of priorities. Losing money does not come close to what you and those that care about you can lose if he gets in an accident. The amusement park is not likely to go away soon. Another opportuniy to visit it is very likely to happen.


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SaveFerris
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05 May 2017, 5:36 am

Joe90 wrote:
I've really been excited about going, and I really want to go. Plus I have already paid for my ticket, and it's too late for refunds. So no, I can't just not go.
.


You could always sell your ticket to another friend who might want to go


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redrobin62
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05 May 2017, 5:45 am

Wow, Joe90, it's good to see some of the veterans of WP are still around after all these years. Cool.



Chichikov
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05 May 2017, 6:01 am

At the amusement park you're putting your life into the hands of people on minimum wage and you're worrying about the drive there?



SaveFerris
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05 May 2017, 7:04 am

Here are a few things you can say to the driver.

Tell him you are not impressed by boy racers , tell him you would be far more impressed if he obeys the highway code - a real sign of maturity.

You could also say you get car sick from driving fast and loud music - no one wants vomit in their new car.

Remind him that a speeding ticket is 3 points minimum on his license and 6 points in his first two years of driving will get his license revoked.

As a new young male driver his insurance is approx £2000 ( guess ) , tell him he has a lot to lose from even a minor fender bender.

On a positive note drivers tests are hard these days compared to pre 1996 , all the knowledge is fresh in his mind , his reaction times should be one of the fastest on the road.


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Joe90
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05 May 2017, 7:40 am

There wasn't anyone else available to go that day, which was why they asked me. My brother is one of the people coming with us but he doesn't drive. Our cousin is also coming, and she was going to drive in the first place but now their silly young friend is so eager to drive. I told her to persuade him to let her drive, and she said she will. But if he's too insistant, then maybe we will remind him of the things the poster above this wrote.

I go to a theme park to be thrilled and entertained. I don't get in a car to be thrilled and entertained, I get in a car to get from A to B. There is a difference.


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IstominFan
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05 May 2017, 9:06 am

If you really want to go, make arrangements with a driver you know will drive safely. The person you describe sounds reckless and it would be wise to find a person who you know is a safe driver.



SaveFerris
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09 May 2017, 2:32 pm

Hope your not going to Drayton Manor http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39862996


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Joe90
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09 May 2017, 3:53 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Hope your not going to Drayton Manor http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39862996


No, we're not going there. The one we're going to has a good reputation and I've never known any deaths caused there.


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