the problem with living on an island

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I live on an island 7 x 9 (miles), population 100,000 (now). When I grew up, the population was a lot smaller and a lot less intense.

And although there is a lot of positive aspects to living on a small island such as the one i live on
which include natural beauty, less busy that a big city, less crime than a big city etc.

There are some negative aspects to living on a small island. Some of these include island claustrophobia, island small mindedness or sheltered mentality. But I think the worse thing about living on a small island is that if you get targeted by a group of bullies or slanderers, such people have the potential to ruin your life.
And what is worse, such people may even have buddies in the police and social services, so that there is little that you can do to stop them.

This is kind of what has happened to me to some extent. Which makes my already hard life a lot harder.
I thank God that i am not even more vulnerable by being addicted to drugs or alcohol etc, and that i grew up doing martial arts as i for sure would be dead by now, either haven had an overdose, committed suicide or haven been murdered by one of the sadistic people.

The people who started a hate campaign towards me were people whom i went to school with, who were horrible at school too and who started the main part of their hate campaign when they knew i was most vulnerable, days after my only and older brother died.

Although not violent at school, they bullied using covert means such as getting large groups of people to shun me. The last 10 years have been an extremely testing time for me and i have found out how horrible some of the people whom I used to regard as friends really are.

Some good has come out of this lengthy negative experience in that i have some friends who have stuck by me regardless of what people have said or done.

I was wondering if anyone else had experienced such bad bullying and if so, what did you do about it.

I can relate.

And I once knew a Scotsman who taught me the saying, "The best revenge is living well."

Felt pretty good after having been an outcast at school as well as a huge science fiction fan, when years after having moved away, I became an artist, submitted a science fiction fine art photo to an art gallery exhibit in the city where I'd been the school misfit ... and won the $100 first place prize in the photography competition ... for my photograph of an alien planet.

Don't let them steal your joy.

I can relate to this situation as well. Although I never lived on an island so to speak. I did live in a rural community, and the people there had this sort of similar mob mentality you just described. Theses communities have a close knitted system and they like to know everybody that's around. And if anybody in that community doesn't fit in. They will do just about anything they can to make your life miserable. If you ask me. I'd get off that small island as soon as you can.

I left the island I'd called home because they gave me such bad PTSD I couldn't sleep enough to maintain health in another rental. I moved exactly 1,000 miles away to a small town with some cheap houses and tried to start over. After eight years, I was feeling somewhat established, and made a couple of suggestions on local politics. Now I'm thinking of moving again.

I've lived in small town Wales where I faced (maybe?) similar bullying. My enemies were friends with vicars, social workers, NHS doctors, police officers and local politicians. I was shunned to the moon and back, such was the amount of gossip made. I was scared of using any services because of all these connections so my life got stuck in a rut.

There's something about Jersey I feel uncomfortable with. It attracts a lot of people avoiding paying tax in England. There are so many financial firms there and I don't like banks or financial companies that avoid tax, I think there must be a lot of fishy people on that island.

I now live in a larger town in England and overall it's better. Nobody knows the lies bullies spread about me back in that small Welsh town. There are more colleges, NHS services, choices of doctors to register with, shops and places to go out for the day in the car or on the bus/train.

But are you happy in Jersey? If you really like it there and can cope with what's been/being thrown at you, you could be in the right place. I would ask yourself do you see a future there? When you close your eyes and fast forward 5 or 10 years what do you see? Will you make a career there, settle down with a partner and children, or do whatever your ambition is?

This is an issue for many. Small communities are not necessarily good for ASD people. There can be more anonymity in very big cities. I guess we just want to be accepted somewhere. Cities give more options (proportional to the number of people). I'm living in a big city and its ok but then I'm earning enough to live comfortably. If that changes for any reason, I'll take my changes in some less populated place. A very remote island sounds like a great idea, at least for a while.

I live in a big city but unfortunately I'm experiencing the typical "small community" problems within the building where I live. I can't stand it but I can't afford anywhere else, there's a housing crisis where I am.

Sure. I can sympathize.
I believe that housing for people on the Autistic spectrum is not well understood and some countries simply do not bother putting any additional funding into creating suitable housings.
Such as low stress environments with sound proofing, which are built in remote and tranquil areas.

Then the police and the government wonder why every now and then someone who has a known mental health problem cracks up due to not coping and does something really nasty to innocent people.

Its like they have created a game of russian roulette with the population including themselves as possible victims.

I wish i could make lots of money so that i could start up a special housing scheme for housing people who need to be housed in specialist accommodation in a remote calming area.

2 places i considered moving to, are Dharamsala, in the Indian Himalayas and Auroville Tamil Nadu India.
Not sure now though, as people are still people wherever you go.
And you still need to survive.

NTs enforce group solidarity by teasing people with differences. Sometimes they can easily conform, perhaps by changing clothes or choice in music. Sometimes they can't, with red hair or gay preferences. It takes a strong educational campaign to slow down the teasing, and it can come back strongly any time, as "Gingers" recently learned. I knew a woman with strong chemical sensitivities, who used a breathing filter to avoid perfume and cleaning products. This offended other residents of her building, who would then spray air freshener, etc, under her door. Even NTs are sometimes harassed to death. I don't know if I should try blending into a city, and ignore almost everything around me, or head to the woods and hope I can deal with occasional strangers.

My life. Litterally the entire school, mutiple schools hated my guts.
I vividly remember when I moved to a new school and everyone hated me - I couldn't figure out why, no one would tell me either.

We are different, we are intelligent, we are superior and hated for it.
Try and find a way/means of escaping, where you no longer have to deal with the petty lower class of NT humans.

not surprising, this country is extroverted to the gills.
it generally hates autists, despite what a few here seem to think.
at the very least it has no time or tolerance for us.
honestly i hope i can one day leave to some place like thailand.. idk how i'll make it but that's the only hope i can see.

Which country is "this country"? I presume you are meaning the USA? I'm from New Zealand.

no i do mean NZ like the guy i was quoting is from, though the US is bad too (but with more overall opportunities and communities mostly due to size).
lot of kiwis here per capita huh? is it possibly because we're so ostracized here?
like him i was bullied all throughout school.
i guess i'm largely assuming it's better in places as i've never been anywhere else and it may be crumby for us all around the globe, but i do know how extroverted and not to mention macho NZ and also Aus are (if u don't drink ur already an outcast), and hence not aspie-friendly.

Very interesting coincidence. I think that most people in New Zealand have no idea about Aspergers/HFA. The general view is that all autism is the same basic thing. So wrong. Its not really worth explaining I find. I don't think its worse than anywhere else in the world though. Humanity is much the same everywhere with regards to Aspergers. I come from South Africa originally and it was worse there.

yeah people here are quite clueless on a lot of mental health issues really, even doctors (and physical health in my experience).

interesting note about south africa.
i'm not really qualified to speak on that but i did hear there's quite a crime problem there so i guess if you're not a guy with social status you're valued extra lowly there, or they're just not laid back enough to have patience for autism or something, idk maybe you can elaborate on your experience there.

i did hear that asia and certain places in europe like finland were more introvert-friendly than the west though.

I probably err on the side of optimism regarding my general acceptability - it takes several incidents to look like a pattern to me - but a blanket "everybody hates me" attitude is statistically suspect. A lot of plain ignorance can pass for malice if we expect it, and vice-versa. If everybody hates everyone except two people, they are natural allies. On my school bus, there was one other guy who didn't fit into the other interest groups, so we had a fine time sharing a seat. However, if you criticize the top dogs in your town without lots of allies, you will never have good luck in that place. Getting ostracized and leaving is no fun, but it does improve your odds of making friends.