How do you know you aren't over analyzing?

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I don't have a diagnosis yet but am thinking of seeking out one. I'm an adult female and as I've read, things can easily be masked and undiagnosed. I didn't specifically tell my husband what I think my issue is, but I went into the issues that seem to fit into this puzzle such as:
Obsessiveness and hyper focus (not compulsive)
Anxiety
Depression
Difficulty with change (I.e. My husband saying he's going to the store on a whim makes me freak out inside. I need warning)
Sensory overload (big stores are an issue, fluorescent lights, many sounds at once, people talking at the same time)
Eye contact issues (is almost..scary for me?)
Crummy day to day executive functioning
Occasional place blindness
Trouble finding words (worse lately)
Need to read things several times to comprehend
Trouble listening to comprehend
Difficulties dealing with and sorting through my emotions (extreme emotions are easier like sadness from death, love, having babies etc)
Over analyzing everything
As a child I pretended to be someone else to make friends.
As a teen I didn't talk much to people and was very self conscious.
I do have a sense of humor and can understand and laugh at jokes.

My husband argued against everything I said as issues that everyone deals with. He also used stress as reasoning (3 kids and 3 moves in 4-5 years) whereas I think it's just amplified what I was previously able to handle without anyone noticing. (Can having kids and stress make symptoms worse or are these Symptoms of stress?!) So..how do you know you're not over analyzing and that it really is Aspergers? I'm very confused now and feel like a crazy person.

Last edited by SunnyBunny10 on 31 Dec 2016, 4:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

For me I don't realize until something in my environment changes, or someone points it out. Usually people tell me to stop being so analytical so I make an effort to be more "spiritual" I guess. Also believe it or not it's normal to feel like a crazy person (most people do) and I've felt like that. As a child and even now I continue to "fake myself" to attract attention and as a teen in the past I've also been self conscious but those are normal parts of being a teenager and child, however difficulties with dealing and sorting emotions are characteristic of Aspergers to a degree I believe, as well as trouble listening. Eye contact shouldn't be a criteria for either neurotypicals or Aspergers because it's such a dumb and simple thing. I was told by a psychiatrist I had Aspergers syndrome, then I went to a different psychiatrist and they told me I didn't have aspergers because I made eye contact, I was just socially slower than others, despite 4 other psychiatrists telling me I do.

Best thing you can do now that I think about it is probably see a psychoanalyst if that is possible where you are, and if these symptoms concern you. If they don't or if they go away or lessen to a manageable degree then it is most likely over analysis.

So did my dad and a couple of other people. It's immensely frustrating, I know. Ignore them as best you can.



Yes to the first.

It does sound as if you're right about being autistic. Many of us with a diagnosis faced the same concerns beforehand. If you can relate to the experiences of other autistic women - and clearly you can - then you're probably autistic.

I think the definition of 'overanalyzing' should be like any other addiction - it's a problem if it's making you or others miserable. I happen to enjoy analytical thinking, and as long as I don't annoy others with it, I don't see it as a problem.

Especially having such horrible social instincts - to just 'feel' my way through social interactions would be disastrous, so analyzing what works and doesn't is how I make any progress at all.

I'm sorry your husband is skeptical of Aspergers. I have trouble understanding why family and friends are so resistant against the possibility, but for some reason they prefer to think of us as just 'overreacting' to normal stress, rather than having a disorder that makes it more difficult for us. (And yes, stress absolutely makes Asperger symptoms worse!)

Based on your list, I think it's very reasonable to suspect Asperger's, and that you're not just a 'crazy person'!

I understand how frustrating it must be to be told what problems you have everyone has. It makes you feel crazy and you wonder if you are just exaggerating and if it's really this bad for everyone else too but you just can't see it because you're not in their head . Yes it is normal for symptoms to get worse under stress.

Why yes, yes they can. Stress that is. Not the kids.

Hubby, just like my parents, attributes past experiences (regardless of me still having issues with such things) as hormones, phases, typical stress responses, stressful childhood... It's tough because no one can see inside my brain, you know? At least my husband gives me the benefit of the doubt and says he's not saying I don't have a core issue (I haven't brought up Aspergers because I think he will really have a tizzy without reading a whole book on women with Aspergers and how it's a whole different ball game than stereotypical cases) but he thinks if life settles down then I won't have as many issues. He says he has seen me change more with each child, and I try to explain it's because I think I've reached my threshold of sorts of what I can handle without starting to outwardly lose it. I mean every day I'm forced to talk to my kids when I used to really not talk much. That in and of itself is exhausting. I just feel like I have a core issue and stress has just made it worse. But when he says I'm over analyzing everything, I start to wonder, well am I? Maybe I'm just messed up and always have been because of stress and hormones and not that I have a true neurological thing where my brain works differently than everyone else. It's so confusing to me and I feel so much more confused than before.

If I were you I wouldn't let people who are ignorant of the autism spectrum instill doubt in what you feel.

Try scouring the internet, finding as many Asperger traits you associate with and add specific examples from your life for each one, the list is likely a lot longer than what you have written here. Create a strong argument which you can present to your doctor and ask him/her to refer you to someone to get a formal assessment.

I think it's normal to feel like this.

After all, you've only ever lived inside YOUR mind. And if you've always considered yourself to be 'normal', how do you then reframe to understand that your mind might not be like most other people's? Especially when you can't look into any of their minds, to see what makes them different!

You are your only frame of reference. What you feel has always been normal to you. But now you're finding out it's not.

And as difficult as it is, the same is true for those around you. They only know their way, and how their minds work, so they can't possibly see inside yours to see what's different. It's no easier for them than it is for you. I discovered that after my diagnosis, there were so many times when things clicked into place for my husband after I was able to explain them in 'autistic' terms. Times when in the past he'd have thought I was being a bit weird, or overexaggerating about something, or he just didn't get it and felt frustrated about something I did.

For me, forums like this were the answer. Immerse yourself in them. Read and respond to threads. You may well find that you share the experiences and find yourself with relevant responses, and that you have a lot of 'Aha!' moments. That helps to clarify it.

Yes!! This is exactly what I was trying to put into words. I'm so glad someone was able to say what I was thinking and my reason for confusion.

What brought me here was researching some behaviors of my very serious, obsessive, controlling, liner upper, hyperlexic 4 year old, oh and the fact that my mom said I used to do all the same things. I began researching Aspergers and although I'm unsure about her yet since I can't see inside her brain, I found almost all of the questionnaire answers were true for me for this females with Aspergers quiz:
https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/201 ... tha-craft/
And I scored 33 on the AQ test when I took it for myself and made my husband take it for me since it helps to have a second opinion for outward behavior. When he took it for himself it was 11. I think that says something. I did the minds eye test too and got between 18-22 (22 was lucky I think.. I guessed many of them and found myself panicking through the test because almost everyone looked the same to me. I look at mouths for cues anyway). Other quizzes like empathy and friendship were normal scores though but I think that sort of goes with Aspie women. My husband still agrees I should talk to a psychiatrist either to get a diagnosis for whatever (since I haven't mentioned Aspergers) and then get tools to help me through things or just talk to someone.

Our stories are quite similar. I remember thinking, when I was younger, that I shared some traits with autistic people. But 'autistic people' in my mind were the really obviously disabled people. So, I didn't ever consider it any further.

I looked into help for my toddler, who was struggling with a few things. And, as I researched for her, I discovered that everything described me! She's too young (and only has very 'light' signs of autism that she may grow out of), and so we've taken no formal action for her yet. And here I am, diagnosed as a result with something that I would never even have considered for myself!

If you've been 'mild' enough to have flown under the radar your whole life, you grow up believing that you're just failing at 'normal' rather than being inherently different. Others won't assume disability and more than you have.

i know i do not over analyze because i am in the midst of an analysis of my level of analyzing and i am confident that when i reach a result, i will see that i am correct in my analysis

Oh, yes. That reminds me.

Whilst I also wondered about over-analysing, when it came to being diagnosed and the time post-diagnosis, it turns out that I'd actually massively under-analysed. Even when looking for every possible sign of autism, I'd missed so many things that I did or that were related to my autism. I went in with a huge folder full of 'evidence', and still missed lots!