Not sure if I have Aspergers

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Hi.

I am 16 years old and I think I have Aspergers. Back in October I saw the movie The Accountant (phenomenal movie btw) and I started looking into Aspergers Syndrome. After researching for a bit, I began to reliaze, this is my life. I am not very social and not very good at socializing. I get frustrated over small things and my parents always say I am over reacting. For example, if I have to repeat something I start to get uncomfortable and very angry.

I have always had a very hard time putting myself in other's shoes. I thought that if I was sad then everyone else must be sad. Then if I see someone else happy when I am sad I get confused when they ask me what's wrong. I am probably not explaining that right.


I am scared to ask my parents to go get diagnosed because I don't know how they will react. Also, I can't understand what people will say if I think about doing something even if they're family. Before I say things, I run practically every single scenario of the conversation because I just don't know how they will react. Any ways, I don't how to ask to go get diagnosed. Even if they say yes if I get the courage to do so, I am scared that in the diagnosis I will feel pressured to put down or say things that my parents would want me to do or say and be normal.


Also I am scared that my dad will say," Or you're just acting that way to be like The Accountant."

I need help and I have thought of waiting till I get to college to go get the diagnosis on my own.

it's a pretty cool feeling when you realize the set of differences that have isolated you from others all your life are not unique to you, and they even have a name.

i would definitely pursue an official diagnosis. i was 4 when i got mine, but for older minors i think the testing usually has a degree of confidentiality, if you're worried your parents will try to mess with the data.

welcome to WP!

Hello, and welcome! Firstly, it's worth noting that I am not diagnosed with ASD. I am pursuing an assessment currently. I suspected that I could have ASD since I was 11, when I learnt about it from a teacher who seemed to think that the class should be educated on the topic.

I had a similar situation regarding my parents (both are medical professionals). They did not want to accept that there could be something 'abnormal' about me (and still don't really), so they blamed all my Aspie traits on characters flaws (saying I am lazy, selfish, heartless, arrogant etc.). They would tell me to 'stop acting stupid' all the time. I was prepared to independently pursue a diagnosis after leaving home. Recently, however, I became angry at their mistreatment of me in this way, so I confronted them about the selfishness of their denial, and the damage it has caused me over my whole life. Good news is, they actually listened to me, and with their support I am to be assessed for ASD. They say they had thought I could have ASD for years, but did nothing...I don't know why.

For me, a diagnosis of ASD would show me that I am not the bad person whom my parents constantly tell me I am. It would be a relief to have an explanation (not an excuse) as to why I am the way I am, and cannot behave and interact as most people do. Hopefully, it would also stop my parents from punishing me for not being as 'normal' as they would want me to be.

I cannot say what will happen when you confront/tell your parents about your suspected ASD, but I would recommend that you talk to your parents if you suspect that they would be open-minded. I kept my suspicions about ASD completely secret for about 6 years, and it was (and still is) quite difficult for me to adjust to having my parents know. The period of secrecy was difficult, too. Also, it is a parent's duty to provide care and acceptance for their offspring, and failure to do so is very damaging. This includes providing medical care (of which the addressing of potential disorders is an element). If you would like me to write you a description of the effects of the refusal of parents to accept the possibility of ASD in their child, and the advantages of diagnosis, just ask. If it would help, you can share it with your parents.

Please feel free to PM (private message) me if you need to talk or anything. Good luck!

Is there a school counselor you can talk to?

I read somewhere that if you suspect you have ASD and do lots of research on it and after researching it you still think that's what you have, then you're probably onto something. People with ASD know they are different from when they are very young, and for me I was searching for the answer from age 8 to 25.

For most neurotypicals though, your diagnosis will be relatively insignificant. They won't naturally understand what it means to have a pervasive developmental disorder, and they might doubt it or misunderstand how it affects you in everyday life. That's why it's so important to get a diagnosis - the conversation is between you and the specialist (find someone in your city who actually specialises in teen/adult ASD diagnosis). The person who diagnoses you is the best person to talk to about whether you have it, how it affects you, and how to talk to others about your difficulties.

So if you can, I would press your parents to help you get a diagnosis and keep on them until you have it. Tell them that this is what you need in order to understand and overcome your difficulties.

Doing the research and having a diagnosis can help with some understanding, but overcoming difficulties is an entirely different matter and a diagnosis can actually be quite optional in that department. If you are looking for a diagnosis as some kind of identification to use while trying to explain yourself to others, you might be in for a great disappointment. So, just do whatever you must for your own intellectual satisfaction and then get on with the business of overcoming difficulties.

It's worth noting that there are other diagnoses that present similar symptoms with additional elements. If the general description of autism resonates strongly with you and helps you to understand yourself, then it would certainly be worth pursuing a diagnosis, if you can.

Some of the other disorders that share many symtoms with autism have unique additional features that benefit from specialized treatment, so a professional diagnosis could benefit you greatly. The support and information you can get here is likely to be helpful no matter what the diagnosis is.

I second leejosepho's skepticism about overcoming difficulties--they don't have solutions for some stuff and it seems it's up to individuals to work around many of the problems that come with a divergent neurology.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

As others have said there is no way to know how your parents will react. They may say no way you are autistic, or they may say they knew or suspected it all along. The worst that can happen is that they refuse to get you help and you have to wait a few years to get an assessment. During that wait you can hang out with us. There are lot of people here who are experiencing similar things as you are and have learned coping mechanisms.

Have your parents watched "The Accountant"? If they have not I would just recommend they see the movie. If they have seen the movie you can ask "did you notice how much I am like the autistic Ben Affleck character"?

No seems to have linked to this, so I will: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

That's the ever famous "aspie quiz." It will give you a likelihood of being neurodivergent, as well as showing where those divergences occur. It is worth noting however that the quiz does not cover every aspect of autism. Also keep in mind that autism is a spectrum disorder, so you may score neurotypical in some areas while still qualifying for a diagnosis. For example, last time I took the quiz I scored a 138/200 in the aspie score, and a 73/200 in the neurotypical score. Therefore, the quiz said I was "Very likely neurodiverse." (Not surprising considering I have a clinical diagnosis to back that up.)

The quiz shouldn't be treated as a clinical diagnosis of course, though the autistic community is becoming more and more open to self diagnoses...