Relaxing into AS Vs fighting against it

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Do you work hard to fight against AS to try and fit into NTland by behaving 'normal' or do you happily just go full Aspie and not care about the thoughts of those around you?

I still feel like I need to try and fight against it to fit in everyday and wonder if a day will come where I will just relax back into my AS and not care about fitting in. The latter sounds great.

Its a mix between the two depending on the environment. In private I can let more of my AS out. In public I try to suppress odd behavior whenever I'm conscious of it due to my social anxiety.

I think this is a balance that every human being has to make, neurotypical or autistic or whatever. We all have to balance being ourselves with being a member of a community.

A good example of compromise is ordering food. It can be hard because we often have trouble communicating.

It is much easier if you order something really popular, like a chocolate dipped ice cream cone at Dairy Queen. I once got a BBQ sandwich instead of an ice cream sandwich and sent it back.

I'm naturally drawn to fighting against my own symptoms (myself). I end up maxing myself out though and feel like I need to escape back into my own little bubble to recover.

I have used my unusual interests to make social contacts. Watching tennis got me interested in taking tennis lessons. My interest in world cultures got me interested in folk dancing. I also rejoined Toastmasters last year after a sixteen-year hiatus. I am enjoying my life now.

I'm happy celebrating my autism through music and television. I also like to celebrate it through art with vibrant colours as well.

I'm not allowed to relax into it, if I did that then I'd be living on the streets

Mostly, I'll relax to it.
At the same time, find ways to get away with it without fighting too much against it.

It really depends on what traits you end up with, what context you live in, how much you (initially) can get away with it, then along with your own desire to fit in or not.



... Though, it's NOT the 'behaviors' and 'mannerisms' I want to get rid off in my case.

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I think it's a case of picking your battles. I have worked hard on things like self-control to be able to handle noisy and stressful environments, as well as for emotional regulation. I did this because the benefit outweighs the (not insignificant, I'll concede) cost. For things like my obsessive tendencies and random, intense interests, I don't know if I could fight that if I wanted to and I see no real benefit coming from doing so.

If my symptoms won't cause trouble at my workplace or when I'm in the general public I'm happy to act like myself, I do restrain myself on occasion but that's like any human being should. We all have habits/thoughts that we'd like to "relax into" but even if you feel more comfortable walking around naked it's not something that's generally well received. I see no difference with something like AS.