Looking when people talk to you

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hi

for all my life and worse now I have trouble looking at people were talking to me when I try looking at the eyes i can do it for a few seconds and must look away . so i try looking at their mouth and the same trouble . it makes me feel dizzy and sort of hurts my eyes and head .
Do any one else feel that way ? is it a vision problem ? I were glasses astigmatism
I feel better to watch people hands than the face

I get dizzy if they're moving their head and hands in all different directions. I watch peoples' mouths. It works very well for me.

I have tried to watch the mouth and it's easier than the eyes . it gives me the same problem though . And i have to look away from the person .
look at the hands help me . but if i were uncomfortable with the person or not like them i don't look at them at all . that makes some of them mad. The more mad they get the more i don't and won't look at them.

Looking in the mouth, or chin helps me - or even looking at some imaginary object, pretending that I'm pondering something, while listening/talking to them.

I doubt that it's a vision problem - just one of the classic symptoms of ASDs.

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I try to maintain eye contact but yes it can be hard. Otherwise just blurring out and looking at their face as a whole. I also find it easier to maintain eye contact with other males than I do females.

Yeah this is classic aspect of being on the autism spectrum. I hesitate to call it a "problem". I think it needs to be reframed a little.

It's not natural FOR YOU to look at someone's face when you're having a face-to-face conversation with them. So when you are expected to, it's putting an unreasonable expectation upon you. It's like if someone asked me to do a yoga pose and then carry on a regular conversation. It's physically uncomfortable and so distracting that you can't concentrate on the conversation.

Now, the other person doesn't understand this. So they're thinking that you're just being weird or rude. Unfortunately, it's your responsibility to tell the other person something like, "I'm sorry, I have an attention problem and I can pay attention to what you say better if I look over here while we talk." Instead of saying "attention problem" you can say "sensitivity problem" or "vision problem" or come right out and say "I am autistic". They may ask you questions, but I would simply SHRUG and say, "I don't know. It's not a big deal. What were you saying?"

This diversion, "It's not a big deal. What were you saying?" is very useful to shut off discussion about something personal and steer the conversation back on track. If someone asks me about my neurological disorder I do this and it works great. Keeps me from having to lie when they ask something like "Will you get better?" I don't want to talk to strangers about my personal business. Just address the problem and move on.

I do not think you should continue to try to look at people's faces directly if at 39 (same age as me) it is still causing you so much distress. Save the face looking for emergencies, such as to see what someone looks like or to look for an emotional expression.

Another thing- people have less patience with the social skills of women. They expect us to smile and make them feel better. When we fail to do that it makes them very uncomfortable.

I can't hear what people say very well when I look at their eyes due to all the fuzziness and interference in my head.

have you tried looking at them without glasses?

This is so tricky isn't it?
As a younger kid I just avoided people's gaze, but later on I realized that's not what you do in a conversation, so I started practising looking into people's eyes and trying to see how/how long they do it and when. I still think I don't do it right, but at least I do get moments when I look into their eyes and focus, then look away a bit, look at something else, look at them again. Never asked for feedback, but they keep talking to me so I guess I'm doing okay

It is troublesome enough to concentrate on what they are saying without paying attention on the eyes as one is "supposed to do". I have learned to "look" in their direction without focusing on anything so i can focus on what they are saying.

I also don't like looking directly at people but I don't feel dizzy. In fact, I can't pinpoint exactly why I don't like it.

I can relate: I find it uncomfortable because I either squint my eyes in order to really concentrate on what they are saying due to distractions or end up staring back at them and give them the wrong signals, sometimes I also smile at them and they think I'm mocking them. You can never win.

Its near impossible for me to look into someelses eyes when their talking to me. Luckily most people I encounter know me and know thats just who I am.

I have a hard time looking at people when talking too, what I discovered for me at least, is that I can fool most people into believing that I'm making eye contact by looking behind them over one of their ears and somewhat "looking through them". Works best for both parties involved that way. Who ever I'm talking to at the time gets their oddly required eye contact and I can communicate without looking at them.