Dazed and Confused

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My 8 year old was diagnosed with slightly below moderate ASD about two weeks ago. I am so confused about what to do next. I have set up a meeting with his school to discuss his situation but I doubt that the school can provide what he needs in terms of therapy. It is a very small school with limited resources. I am wondering if any public school can give him what he needs. I think (Think, am not sure) that he needs ABA therapy but again, I have no idea what to do next. Do I buy books, do I find a treatment center? Please, someone who is already into this journey with a child, help me understand what to do.

About my son, my son is loving, high functioning according to the tester. He reads two grade levels above his grade and spells very well, probably at least a grade level above grade. He does not like loud sounds and is somewhat clumsy although that does not keep him from trying to play with his peers. (As witnessed by a broken arm a month ago caused by a fall from the monkey bars) His language is somewhat delayed and his social interactions are awkward. He wants friends but cannot maintain friendships not due to meanness, but because he can't talk well about the same things his peers talk about. He does like, or doesn't mind being touched. He has never shown signs of extreme violence.

Any feedback I would very much appreciate.

8 seem a typical age for being diagnosed in the part of the spectrum where your son plots.

The reading abilities seem typical of the general type. I was reading books quite away above what was expected, and I did not seem to have any sensory issues causing distress.

Quite possibly the reading abilities can be one of the keys. It may well be that rather sweet spot on the spectrum where intelligence and the occasional wise steer to our reading means we can sometimes be our own therapists.

Access to the library and books above his age could be one really good resource the school may be able to offer. The smallness of the school may be a strength, in the larger schools it can be very easy for us to stand out as odd enough to be a target for mocking or worse forms of bullying.

The small size does reduces the chance of him finding even one person with the same interests and that could be a bit awkward, as you already mention.

Hecis also around that age where there is a chance of finding some consuming interest which could set him up well for work in the future.

Age seven my primary school made a bit of a mess by the teacher leaving me to my own devices. All was not lost though. The class library had copies of a series of books called Newnes Pictorial Knowledge from which I learned about steelworks, electricity, radio, though the books were 40 years out if date at the time.

The next primary school was a good one in that it did keep me focussed, though it was hard work on both our parts.

I had paid a visit to a professional age six , but in 1969 UK there was nothing really known about my part of the spectrum. It did mean I had no label which might have limited me, and what was done in school was very focussed around schoolwork matters such has handwriting and actually getting the work done.

I recall some of the stories in Story Time in school would these days be described as 'Social Stories' these are teaching aids these days aimed at folk on the spectrum, generally in childhood if possible, and stock us up with examples of what to do in the situations where we don't have the intuitive knowledge.

I think you may find Dr Tony Attwood's book "The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome" a starting point. There is a lot of detail in the book, not all of it may be relevant to your son, but chances are there will be many good starting points.

ABA can be a Very intensive intervention, some recommend up to 40 hours a week. Opinions are divided on it. There is a school of thought among many autistic people that its aim is misplaced; it appeared to many who had it that the focus was too much on suppressing the parts of them which were autistic in order to "pass" as normal. Some speak of internalising some unnecessary Shame about being autistic and some of the quirks which come with being wired this way.

It may be the case that your son has the intelligence to work out his own ways if enough good reference materials find there way into his reach. I have a suspicion that my wise old dad slipped a few well chosen books onto my bookshelves over the years.

The social awkwardness won't really go away. I find the same situations a bit of a trial age 50 as I did age 5 .

My own parents would often focus on the strengths of my profile. They would remind me of the abilities I showed in reading, memory and the like and remind me not to let those down through careless work or poor handwriting. Perhaps it was useful there was no label in those days to lump thongs together under.


There are some informative films on YouTube by a young lass name of Rosie King which my be of use as well