Any advice for my two sons to get a better relationship?

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My youngest son is going through a tough time in his life right now. My other son, the eldest, is also going through a bad time. Somehow this changes a lot between the two of them. They never really had a bond, since there's a big age gap between the two. But ever since my oldest son started to get sick, he is been trying to get a better relationship with his younger brother. Strangely enough my youngest son really dislikes that. He expresses little to no emotions towards his brother, even when he got sick. He one time even said that if something bad would happen to him, he wouldn't really care much.
I'm worried that one day the two of them will never see each other anymore and I wish there was something I could do.
Does anyone have any advice for me? What to do or maybe what my sons should try? Or should I let them do their own thing?

Note:
My youngest son (17) is diagnosed with autism, depression (medication), beginning personality disturbance and he is taking tests to see if he might be Schizophrenic.

My oldest son (25) is diagnosed with ADD and has a medical condition with his eyes and body weight (he's getting skinny and his eyes dry out way too fast) we're still looking what is wrong with him.

It might be beneficial if you facilitated increased understanding between the brothers. For example, explain to the younger brother that the older brother wants to have a better relationship with him, and that the older brother likes/is interested in him. If necessary and possible, you could explain to the older brother why the younger brother appears to dislike his attempts at reconciliation - perhaps the younger brother does not know how to receive affection from the older brother, or is confused by it? You could also arrange for them to do something of mutual interest together (perhaps special interest related), which may facilitate positive communication. Talking to both sons individually at first might be necessary to build a foundation for their relationship.
Good luck!

The younger brother could be misreading the older brothers intentions due to the autism. The older brother may be portraying his intentions in the wrong way due to the ADD.

You should monitor their relationship closely and try to spot any situations where this sort of thing occurs.

It won't hurt to try working on it, but as an autistic 16 year old, if I don't care about something or someone, it's pretty much impossible to change that. Would you say there's any bitterness involved, or just indifference?

I wouldn't fret on it too much. My brother and I had nothing - zero - to do with each other at this age. Now we are in our 40's and we are relatively close. We get along and we love each other. Somewhere along the line, we came to understand that it's OK to hang with someone who is really different than you. And that we both value the idea of family. My parents didn't do anything to facilitate this. We just grew into it. It helped a lot that we no longer live together.

It did help me a lot when my NT brother apologized for what he saw as the worst of the way he picked on me when we were kids. Apparently, he was stealing my money, and I was blaming my parents, or just thinking I lost it. It's not the worst from my POV, but I feel good about the intention that he was saying he should treat me and my property with respect.

I also discovered autism activism and came to understand that the fraudian psychoanalysis I received as a child is abusive. My therapist used to think that all my emotional trouble stemmed from my jealousy of my brother. This harmed me, but it also harmed my brother. He didn't deserve to have our difficult relationship amplified like that and blamed for my autism. That's just crazy talk!

So, I guess it was just time and growing up enough to realize we don't want to be unfair to one another.

Firstly, has your oldest boy been checked for Marfan Syndrome?

Secondly, with your youngest boy having Autism, that'll throw a monkey wrench, into MOST things. I'm thinking it's possible the MAIN reason alot of us don't like / can't get along with alot of people, might be because we don't understand them. With books, maths, sciences----2+2=4, that's easy to understand. With people, though, there's too many things to learn----and, there's no pat answer (that's, maybe, THEE most difficult thing, for us to accept), and just when you think you've got people figured-out, someone different comes-along; we don't like change, so it's best to stick with things, that DON'T.

Trying to figure-out life, ALONE, is overwhelming, enough, for alot of us----then, with your eldest getting sick, that added an element that made "people-in-general", that much MORE overwhelming.

Your eldest son's loud talking adds another negative element to him, as far as your youngest, is concerned (sensory issues).

I wish I could think of a GREAT solution----you can't force them; your youngest might FIERCELY rebel, and that would be really bad, for BOTH----but, I can't think of anything, that would offer a "quick fix".

The best advice, so far, seems to be talking to each boy, separately, and then telling the other one what each said he wants to happen, so that they can get-along.

Also, I TOTALLY understand your wanting your youngest to better like / treat your older one----but, you'll have to realize / come to grips with the fact that people with Autism, are just MUCH different. Maybe..... Maybe if you think of it as one person who is STRONGLY passionate about Religion A, trying to talk another person, who is strongly passionate about Religion B, into them dropping their religion, cuz it's wrong, and taking-up Religion A----that almost NEVER goes, well. Who's to say who's RIGHT----why is one religion more right than another----what if BOTH religions are right, because it's what's right, for the individual.

That's not that big of an age difference. I have a sister who's old enough to be a second parent to me literally to the point where she actually has kids my age. It can be done, the "bond" anyway.