Plan to become a glass half full person

Post Reply New Topic

I am in the middle of a very bad place mentally now and have been experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts hence the post I made in the Haven today. I have had a negative way of way of thinking/attitude for a long time - towards both bad situations and even most good situations. I realised today that the severity of the negativity of my thoughts is possibly what is causing me to have the suicidal thoughts. I used to think that negative thinking makes you less vulnerable and therefore less likely to be depressed but I am starting to think that is wrong. Because I am experiencing severe mistrust of other people and severe depression, and I have become very angry and bitter all the time. It has just occurred to me that this level of negativity just isn't normal, whether you're talking about autistic people or neurotypicals. It is also certainly not normal for someone to have NO friends in university WHEN THEY HAVE A CHOICE. When you think logically, why does everyone around me appear to be a lot happier than me? Because they think a lot more positively about situations that come their way. Correct me if I'm wrong about anything I've said please.

Does anyone think that that it would help me if I change my way of thinking to being more positive (in both good and bad situations) and that it would make me a happier and less likely to experience severe depression/suicidal thoughts in future. Does anyone agree with this?

Also, I have a past of being bullied which causes me to have severe trust issues as mentioned before. Does anyone think it would be beneficial for me to work on my trust issues? I have just become so cynical of all other people to the point where I have almost no trust if any at all. Will it make me more LIKELY to make good friends?

Last edited by ja795 on 18 Jan 2017, 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Find a sweet friend, one who stays out of drama, has many other friends, is perky, etc. I know she (I've noticed they're usually females) may sound like a nightmare to you. Always trying to drag you to social events, but you will thank her. I feel as they're slowly fading away, but true ladyship cannot just vanish. She will brighten up your thoughts, your day, etc. I've always felt attracted to these type of girls/women, whether it be in a friendly way or a romantic way.

That is partly true. But it's likely also true that your depressed outlook makes it harder for you to perceive the full range of emotions that others are having around you when you notice all those happy people. This is called selective perception and is a behavior shown by all people.

Yes. It may be hard to spontaneously have that kind of more optimistic reaction, so you might try to create a model of how a more optimistic person would respond to and think about things and think your way through that imagined response. You may find that things start to seem naturally more positive.


With a good therapist, yes.


Anything you can do to relieve your depression will make it more likely that you will make friends.

Be kind to yourself and focus on doing things that you love and that make you happy. These are things you are more likely to be able to share with others in the process of getting to know them and making friends.

Good luck.

Even if you never become an optimist, it really does help to shift focus toward the positive. Have you tried gratitude exercises? One really good one is to think about one thing you're grateful for, and really make it come alive in your mind with good memories, plans to enjoy it in the future, etc. As a non-optimist, I find that positive thoughts still do brighten things up. They don't get rid of the bad stuff, but they inspire more action at least.

When I left home, I was lonely and depressed for a while, but then decided that, like Blanche DuBois, I could trust the kindness of strangers. I'd see the good in people, and expect the best. People will often rise to the occasion morally, although it is useless to try to inspire much intellectual accomplishment. I sometimes got taken advantage of, but overall, the gains beat the losses. For me, the problem is finding interesting people. Usually, the boredom is only punctuated by fear. The number of friends is generally inverse to intelligence.

Sorry I am in a hurry so I can't make a longer reply.

I have never tried gratitude exercises but I suppose I could give it a try. It might be difficult though because I don't have any positive social memories that come to mind. I have never had a girlfriend and have ended up being bullied by almost all people I thought were friends.


Yeah I agree, and the action can also get rid of the bad stuff SOMETIMES.

Thank you, I appreciate the advice.

Thank you for the reply. Yeah I suppose the challenge is to find people who are interesting AND you can trust, even if it is just one. Personally I would say the ideal number of friends is 1-3. Any more and any less is probably not good for someone. Although if you haven't met the right people yet then no friends is always best.

Gratitude exercises can be hard. Just entering 3 items on a list as quickly as possible each day does not help much compared to thinking over each one and feeling grateful again. You seem to be stuck on your desires for the future as objects of gratitude, though. You could be grateful for your food, your physical health, and your computer, three things that millions of others lack. Maybe you have a favourite coat, game, or place to walk. Maybe someone really helped you one day, either in person or by writing a book.