You before diagnosis

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I'm currently suspecting someone very close to me is on the spectrum.
I've learned that many people go undiagnosed because the symptoms are not easily noticeable.

I'd like to ask those of you who received late autism diagnosis in adults about your status before diagnosis.

Were you somehow aware of your condition? Did you know that you are somehow different from other people?
If so, what made you think so?

For instance, if you're frequently pointed out by people that your words and actions were rude or inconsiderate,
then I believe you might have thought there was something different (or off) about yourself.
There might have been times where you were misunderstood by others or where others blame you for being "immature."
Or did you still not recognize anything wrong with your behavior?

I've also heard that people on the spectrum may have problems with impulse control.
Have you ever confronted a situation where you had problems with your impulse control?
Were you ashamed afterwards? or were you astounded by your impulsive actions?

Last edited by rachelsp on 20 Jun 2018, 4:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Everyone knew SOMETHING was going on.
I have 150 insane and amazing ideas a day, I read through books in any of the sciences absorbing and understanding everything, I painted perfectly at age five, LOTS of other stuff...and yet I got fired from jobs for weird reasons that were clearly excuses, was repeatedly picked out and targeted socially, could not manage to conform to conventions of any kind that were not exactly clear and concise, hosts of other issues.

After my diagnosis, it was suggested that I was a Savant, thankfully I received specialist care at that time and was run through a battery of tests. it was remarkable to discover how many things I was doing that i assumed were the norm....which were far from it. it's not easy to relate anymore, but then I suppose it never was and I just couldn't tell.

this is as far as I can answer or I will continue into philosophical ground.

I knew I was a little weird. And I could never work out how I could be so extremely smart and so extremely stupid at the same time, it never made sense.

I thought the issues I had were just my personality, so it was strange to discover they were all aspects of ASD. It was quite a shock, actually, to discover how much of what I thought was "just the way I am" were traits shared by so many others, and were not really personality but an undiagnosed developmental disorder

I knew I was weird, but did not exactly know why. There are many things I can look back on now and I understand. For instance, if a girl liked me I had absolutely no clue. One of my friends would have to tell me. And then, of course, I had no idea what to do with that knowledge. So generally the only girls I hooked up with were very outgoing and made it very obvious. Of course those relationships never worked out because I was an attractive young man back then, but did not have the social skills for any kind of relationship. Now I see that this involved subtle social interaction aspects that tell someone another person likes them. I could not see any of that or interpret these subtle signs (still can't).
Your undiagnosed friend probably knows something is different and may take the news very well. I did not find out until I was about 37, but when I did and I looked into ASD I saw all of the weird ways I have that could never be explained, now it all makes sense. So much stuff from my past that was a total mystery (other than "I guess I am just a weirdo") is now explained. I can also see systematically when and why something is going to cause me problems. Where as, in the past, it was mostly just a loose collection of experiences that formed my understanding of what makes me mad.

I knew I was strange- I literally thought I was an alien.

I actually mostly thought that everyone else was strange:

How the heck could adults claim to care about kids while talking down to them, and forcing them to do things like school? (I was having daily meltdowns and thought everyone was having the same trouble)

Why were the other kids so two faced? They acted like angels around adults but the moment the adults turned around were monsters.

Why wouldn't the other kids stand up to the adults?

Why did the adults act like that if they were kids once two?

Why did kids do things to me to make me upset? Like killing bugs in the classroom or once stomping a frog to death in fount of me.

Why did a teacher force me to leave two butterfly's to die just because there wings didn't come in right so they couldn't fly? What kinda BS thing were they trying to teach?

Why did the kids at both the girls table and the boys table refuse me and make me sit on the floor until some kids from the peanut free table and the janitor let me sit there.

Why did music teachers not allow me to hold my ears closed, and would get mad at me for my unnaturally deep voice? Heck, why did anyone like music? (I both experienced great pain from music, and my voice as a child was that of a grown man until I learned to artificially make it higher when I spoke, you should of seen some people's faces when I spoke as a little girl.)

Why did most girls like pink and hate bugs?

Why was black seen as a bad color?

You get the idea.

I honestly thought I only had general anxiety disorded on account of how uncomfortable I am in the spotlight. I've always been a quick study but I burn out when I try to relate to others. I've always been terribly peculiar about certain things especially my tendance to take everything hyper literal. My sense of direction is pretty kaput and I usually exercise decent impulse control. Sort of have to or people start poiting things out. I've always stimmed by doing a waving motion with my hand against my thigh. I also used to twitch. I knew I was odd but I never knew there was any substance to it until I was diagnosed.

I really just thought I was very shy and highly sensitive. I had a very sheltered childhood - I was homeschooled and lived far out in the country, so I thought that may have contributed to my social difficulties.

My brother told me that he thought I had autism. His son was diagnosed with it, and my brother read up on the subject. At first, I just blew it off and thought he was wrong. But I did a lot of reading for a couple years and realized that he was probably right and sought and received my diagnosis.

It explained SO much. For instance, I greatly struggled with selective mutism as a teenager which made it impossible to make any friends. It also explained my sensory sensitivities and my need for a routine.

I never got hassled over my manners, except for being so quiet I startled people for a while. Early on, I thought that we were all basically cave people trying to cope with overcrowding in agricultural civilizations. Later, I noticed that others felt more at home. I went to meetings for adult children from dysfunctional families for decades. None mentioned AS. I read a book about emotional development stages, and couldn't relate to most chapters at all. (Mom had AS too.) Eventually, I realized that my IQ is about 3X higher than my EQ, and I had been assuming that people with more EQ were smart in general.

Recently diagnosed. I knew I was different since I don’t know how to easily interact with others. I’ve always viewed other humans as a species to dissect and to try to understand rather than as peers. That told me that I’m different - seeing media portrayals of aspergers that I could relate to told me that I likely had it (Imitation Game, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Adam, The Accountant, etc.). I’m seeing a psychologist now for social anxiety, I also wanted to be sure I was getting the right treatment and to see if some of my difficulties came from aspergers. Got tested and then my self-diagnosis turned out to be correct.

Parents would point out when I was being rude, but I thought they were always over reacting. Lacking empathy makes it difficult to see their view. To me I’m not rude, just different and don’t care about the same social norms that NTs do. It was only after being diagnosed and reading up more that I found there was a correlation between the two.

I have impulse control problems. I’ve been surprised by my actions, but thought everyone must be as impulsive as I am - thus never saw that as connected either.

Basically, I only related aspergers to not understanding people and being different from them originally. After diagnosis, I read up and discovered that my traits went further than that.

It’s like hearing. I have enhanced hearing. But, due to not knowing how NTs heard the world - I thought my hearing was normal up until recently.

I just turned 27 and self-diagnosed earlier this year. I always knew I was different. But my older brother was too, and it seemed to be a family trait. (I learned last year that he was diagnosed. Nobody had mentioned it to me as a kid.) I came from smart family that didn't bother with extracurricular social stuff.
(Then later our younger brother actually had a social life. And I lamented at his weirdness.)


I didn't. I barely knew autism existed and nobody considered that I might have it. My oddness was attributed to my intelligence, or just accepted as me being me.
I relate to ThatDude's and Arganger's posts.


Yes, I was told I was being rude when I didn't understand how what I was doing could be perceived as rude. I didn't usually recognize anything wrong with my behavior, but generally went along with their idiotic expectations so I wouldn't get in trouble. I never considered the possibility that other kids didn't all have the same sort of experiences.


I don't think I'm any more impulsive than most people. It's possible I would be if not tempered by my having a down-to-earth personality.

Hmmm. People don't tell me I'm rude, but they sure ignore me a lot when I'm just trying to help. Most recently, I noticed a naval architect using the wrong formula to predict propeller efficiency, and have not heard back. Another NA I correspond with thought he might have just been daunted by the re-design work using the right one would suggest. I suspect it is more like all the geologists who had to die off before plate tectonics could be taught. I'm trying to save them huge amounts of fuel, and they are worried about their reputations.