Could my husband have Asperger's

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Hello everyone I came to this site maybe like 6 years ago and I was dating someone with Asperger's. Since then I met a new guy and got married.. I knew my husband was different but I just couldn't understand why. I'm thinking Asperger's might be the reason but he is very sensitive and really emotional. He really cares. But he has such a hard time with conversations not to me but to other people he wont speak in full sentences he gets really upset if our bed is not made a certain way and he remembers every thing like he will tell me something that I told him like 3 months ago and he just expects me to remember it just like that. And when I ask him a question he has to process it. Like one day he was walking and he felt sick so he's like lets go sit down and I asked if he felt like throwing up and he couldn't give me a answer we had to sit down and he had to process a answer. He's like I'm process a answer. It's a simple yes or no question. These things don't make sense to me. When I was with my ex he was already on the spectrum so I did my best to understand him... But with my husband it's so difficult to understand trying to figure out what goes on in his mind.. Oh and if I say something sometimes he thinks he hears something else not related. Is it possible he would be on the spectrum even tho he's very emotional?

My answer: Who knows?

His "symptoms" are rather vague---except for the part about him having to "process" yes/no questions.

He could be on the Spectrum--or he could just be a shy sort of person.

Does he have specific rituals which he MUST perform?

Does he have any "special interests"--which during his pursuit of then, he just CAN'T be disturbed. Does he have a meltdown when he is disturbed?

How is he about touch? Is he sensitive to touch? Does he not like you to touch him? Does he have problems with clothes which have tags? Frequently, people on the Spectrum have problems with clothes that have tags.

Based on what you wrote, I cannot even begin to speculate whether or not he's on the Spectrum. Except maybe for the part which deals with him being forced to "process" answers to apparently simple questions.

Are you under the impression that those of us with Asperger's aren't sensitive and emotional?

<rant>

Well, thanks for that! I'm extremely sensitive and about as chock full of emotion as you can get. I'm so full of it that I randomly cry several times a day over seemingly trivial things, including that sentence. I may have trouble reading your emotions and I may have trouble externalising my emotions but trust me they're there. In fact, most of my meltdowns are emotionally driven, I get so overwhelmed that I can't speak and end up a quivering frustrated mess.

As for caring. Let's see, I have been married for 30 years, have two wonderful children and am a carer to my wife who has severe MS (aphasia, partially blind, partially paralised, depressed). Are these the actions of someone who does not care?

Please do not assume that just because people who are AS have trouble showing emotion that they do not have emotions because, as I think you can see, I'm pretty emotional right now.

</rant>

As for if your husband has AS? Kortie pointed you in the right direction.

I also agree that KraftieKortie's post is a good place to start. You should just generally read up on the autism spectrum first. It's a misconception to say that autistic people are not emotional. I would say they are more likely to have different emotions. So they might get emotional about different things and they might display their emotions in different ways-but not always. Some autistic people act just like neurotypical people, but they personally sense a difference.

If you think he's on the spectrum, you might want to talk to him about it and see if he would like to explore it himself.

I know nothing....Nothing!