Toddlers

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I get so agitated and panicky if someone puts their toddlers near me (if it's somebody I know then it's different, I can bring myself to tolerate them). But a stranger's kids really do upset me. Just their energy, their high-pitched voices, their unpredictability, and the way they have to be heard. I find myself walking away if someone with a toddler is standing too close to me, and sometimes the parents take it personally by the way they look at me, but it's not personal. I just feel uncomfortable around small children.
I also hate it when there's a toddler in the seat behind me on the bus or train. I don't mind babies under 10 months or a year, but from ages 1 to about 5 I just can't bear.

Is this due to AS, ADHD, or anxiety? I have all three, and I don't know if my low tolerance for small children is due to one of those conditions, as most other people seem able to tolerate them.

And no saying I was a toddler once, because that's annoying. Just because I was a toddler once, doesn't mean I have to tolerate them. Maybe some people hated me being near them when I was a toddler.

Probably all three things plus just not being comfortable around little children. They're noisy, squirmy and weird. I have a bunch of little cousins I started having to be around fairly frequently when I was moved to another state, and it took me a long while to start being able to really tolerate them being near me. Even though they are well behaved.

Oh YES toddlers make me agitated. On the bus today a woman got on with two, one about a year and one three and sat near me. They just would not shut up! I have problems filtering out noise and really had the urge to tell them to shut up.

I know what you mean. Kids make me anxious too. I always worry that I'm going to say the wrong thing to them and either cause them to cry or scar them for life. I'm okay around my friend's niece, but she is exceptionally well-behaved and mature for her age. I'm sensitive to people of all ages screaming, and I find that it is even worse with small children.

I am not afraid of them or worry about what they might do, I don't know how to talk to them and the parents might not want their kids to know certain things and their language and understanding is so limited I can't talk to them like I do to everyone else. In fact my own drive me crazy with their shrieking and screaming but at least as a parent I can shut them up and toss out consequences at them for not being quiet. You can't do that to other peoples kids and I know children are not puppets so they are sometimes beyond the parents control to keep them quiet because I have been there many times when I couldn't shut mine up in public. What are you going to do? The only thing I have done was go home with my kids and then my son is unhappy we were going home so I always tel him "So next time you will listen to me then, when I say..., you listen so if you want to stay out longer, you listen to me or else we go home." And I do not like taking them out so I often leave them at home and I would rather take them out when I am with someone else because it's easier and I am not having anxiety then from my son asking for this or that and not taking no for an answer and for not listening to me.

I'm with you on this one.

I generally feel that any noise-making thing should be thrown into the deepest pit of hell.

This includes children, teenagers, autism advocates, cars, cities etc

But it's not the world we live in.

Just wear earplugs.

You do have to tolerate them. Well, we can't set them on fire and dispose of them.


However, many parents these days let their children away with way too much. The kids should generally be quieter, purely out of respect/manners.

Most parents solve this by bribing the little s**ts with a McDonalds. Madness!

LOL my mother used McDonalds to snap us kids into shape so we can behave in a restaurant. She broke us by throwing away all our food if one of us broke one of her rules. She would buy us the food with a toy only to take it all away if one of her rules was broken and the other two had to suffer their sibling's consequence.

I do seem to cope better when the parents are trying their best to control their kids in public. Also toddlers seem to be sweet when they have a calm but attentive parent with them, holding their hand and being like a best friend as well as a parent. The kid seems to be more quieter too. Sometimes kids of chavvy parents who are always yelling at the kid seem to retaliate more, probably because the kid feels misunderstood. To be a parent, you need to be inbetween; being too passive and letting them run rings round you and annoying everyone around you will make the kids be more hyper and more prone to a tantrum if the parents have to stop them doing what they want, but being too bossy and stern also makes the kid just scream back angrily, which esculates into a tantrum. I'm NOT saying it's a rule that works with all toddlers, but because I observe people all the time, it's just what I notice.

I don't feel uncomfortable around toddlers at all. I enjoy their company. There parents gave them life which will also be given to their own children. I see them as little Sweet Peas called LiFE.

I can't stand babies and small children either, they're loud, underfoot, sticky, and they just won't stop talking! I was in a Starbucks with my dad this afternoon, trying to enjoy a conversation, when parents with two little kids, estimated about one and three years old, sat at the table next to us. Both kids kept screaming and squealing, and it literally drove us out of the cafe. We had to go and sit outside (in winter) until they left, it was obnoxious and I had to seriously fight the urge to snap at those parents and tell them to shut their kids up or get them out of there. It's things like this that are a constant reminder of my commitment never to spawn.

Can't stand it. Especially when i'm trapped on a bus with them. What's worse is that I sit at the back to get away from them....but as soon as mothers spot where i'm seated, the decide it would be a good idea to come and sit next to me with their 5 sugared up s**ts.

Yes, yes, yes, EXACTLY the same with me! I even try to give a facial expression to make it look like I'm a grumpy old hag who doesn't like children, but I don't think they notice, and they just come and sit near me anyway.

Also when I get people without children sitting behind me, I feel ''safe'' and know that that means people with children obviously won't be able to sit there and kick my seat, and then a couple get on the bus with several children under 4 and sit away from where I'm sitting, and then suddenly halfway through the journey it suddenly turns out that the person sitting in the seat behind me actually knows the couple with the children (even though they hadn't spoken to them throughout the journey), and then they decide to let the kids move seats to sit next to the person behind me. THAT really annoys me.
Also I worry about getting planes because of this exact reason. I do not want to be seated in front of or next to a small child. I remember I was the last time I got a plane, and although it was only a 40-minute journey, I still felt uncomfortable, and was glad it wasn't a longer plane ride. I felt enveloped by the window and a woman came and sat next to me with a 7-month-old baby on her lap. The baby was sweet, as I do like babies of that age, but they still can be unpredictable, especially when the plane takes off or lands and the baby can feel the pain from the pressure in their ears, which causes them to cry. Some babies cry louder than others. Lucky for me this baby didn't really cry, just whimpered a bit, and was otherwise rather happy and quiet. But it could have been worse. I remember my auntie saying that when she was on a flight from the UK to the Caribbean, she was sat in front of a 2-year-old, and the whole journey this kid was whining, crying, kicking the seat, and kept pooping it's pants, making my aunt feel sick and annoyed. It's a long flight to have to endure a kid behind you like that. I really think all people with young children should be allocated certain places to be seated, like at the back of the plane, because not everybody wants to or is able to endure someone else's child right near them during a long flight.

Children on flights make me anxious too, because I just know they're going to start screaming or yelling or kicking the seat, and being trapped in a confined space with no way to get away from the irritation is literally like a form of torture. I read a news article that said that several airlines are going to implement "child-free" sections of their planes, where, for a few dollars (or whatever the relevant currency) extra, people can be seated in sections where children are not allowed. I would absolutely take advantage of that. I hope it gets implemented in the US soon!

What really irks me is when it's an empty bus. I've been in situations where i'm sitting in the far back corner of an empty bus. Then as soon as people with their kids come on the bus, they decide to pin me into that corner by sitting right next to me and directly in front of me, despite there being a bus full of empty seats!

I can relate. More often than not, whenever I have to put up with kids screaming, it just makes me want to punch something.

Joe90- I usually also choose to place myself and my son next to women. Young women if there's a spot. Sorry.

My neurological disease was worse than it's been in ages yesterday. I was mostly unable to speak or move. So my husband had to take over all of my mom tasks.

All throughout the day, I hear "WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN???" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?" "OHHH MY GODDDD!! !" "STOP STOP STOP"

I can't speak for other toddlers, but mine is always doing things that directly challenge my husband, who has Asperger's. Our son will like, get food on his hands and then touch my husband with the food hand. Or he'll stand up on a chair randomly, where no one can get him and he's about to fall and get hurt. Or he'll need to sit on the potty or get changed but he'll fight you as hard as a grown man in battle. That's just how they do. They don't have a lot of logic or politeness at that age.