Afraid of Friendly People/ Friendly Interactions...

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Hi all,

I've always had this thing where if a person is nice to me or is friendly towards me, I start feeling I have to do everything possible to avoid that person... Mind you it is mostly employees that work at the shopping mall or restaurants I always go to... Or someone at my college, like the librarian or someone in my class for example. I don't know why I do it. I guess I feel like I don't know if they're being nice to me just because it's a part of their job or if they actually want anything to do with me... I think I'm like this because I've had bad experiences in the past where a person is kind to me and I start to think maybe they want to be my friend or something...which was never the case and I'd end up feeling like an idiot for believing so.

Also, sometimes I develop like a small crush on such people. I just like it when people are nice to me and so I guess I see that person differently from everyone else. But it doesn't stop me from avoiding them, it makes it worse.

I feel the same kind of fear when a person is rude to me as well but I prefer it to someone being nice because it's easier for me to get over... Really though, I just wish all people would treat me with an indifferent attitude because it would make my life a lot easier.

I know it sounds ridiculous to be afraid of "nice people"... But my reasons for posting this here is because I wanted to know if there is anyone else out there who experiences this themselves? If so, how do you deal with it or get over it?

Thanks!

I avoid friendly strangers to keep from being used, abused, and otherwise taken advantage of.

Same for me I feel invaded when strangers try to communicate with me.

I don't like being around the real bubbly types that spread on the (fake) friendliness with a trowel. I hate it even more when the start up with the line of personal questions. Car salesmen are the worse.

It depends. Some friendly people I feel very comfortable with. Others I don't. I don't always know why, I just get a weird feeling that makes me want to avoid them, even though they seem nice.

I am especially wary of people who love bomb me or act like they want to be my instant best friend. I've had bad experiences with people like that.

Although I wouldn't say I prefer rude people to nice people, I do feel some kind of anxiety being with nice people.

Some nice people are only nice superficially and I've been stupid enough to trust them. It's shocking that some people can be so insincere and two-faced. Don't they feel bad? I have become so cynical and wary because of those people.

Others are genuinely nice. With such people, I feel a different kind of anxiety. I feel I will eventually disappoint them and they will no longer be interested in being friendly with me.

In shops and cafes where some of the staff members are nice, I feel anxious because I may respond weirdly and put them off. But they are not important any way.

More like afraid of 'polite' people, less so to 'friendly' ones.

But too bad, I don't know people's intentions.

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I feel quite afraid of being friendly to passing strangers, but I think it is a social anxiety thing.

Saying thank you to someone who holds the door open for me isn't so bad because they are expecting a thank you and it's nice to be polite.

But when just passing someone in the street, I often feel afraid to make eye contact. Some people intend to say hello to everybody they pass, and when I feel annoyed at that, nobody knows why because I suppose there is nothing wrong with being friendly. But whenever I've tried to look at someone and smile, they look the other way, or give me a blank stare, which is somewhat upsetting. So I've given up being friendly to people now.

But I still get jealous of people who only got to glance at a stranger for about half a second without smiling or even intending to speak, and they get an unexpected greeting. I would like that, but because I must somehow give off unfriendly vibes, I have to just be lonely when walking on my own.

i find it hard to trust anyone, due to lending money and being mugged off by people I thought were my friends when I was a teenager.

The last time I was like this was earlier today. The guy delivering our water was making small talk with me, but I was afraid because of that one time I was using Facebook in his presence and he accidentally saw a pornographic post on his feed, which I felt nervous about because, well, it is one thing if I was just innocently browsing and some pervert I was loosely connected to posted some porn and then it ended up on my feed because that's explainable, but it is another to choose to join a sex group and to end up with a pornographic post accidentally popping out on your feed while you're browsing the Internet in someone else's presence.

This kind of thing really ruined my mood.

I think it's more a feeling of "owing".

People do something nice for you and you feel like you need to repay them in some way, but at the same time, you're worried that your efforts will somehow fall short or be taken negatively.

It's all part and partial of living with a socially anxious conscience. We don't hate friendly people, we just have a difficult time managing the situation.

I can enjoy freindly banter.

I sometimes get anxious or awkward and say something which is awkward d.

On occasions I get very wary if questions feel to personal in a conversation. I actually don't like someone becoming close to me very quickly. I do feel wary of the chance someone may take advantage. I also want to avoid situations where for me the interaction may have been right for that occasion but feel no reason why that person should remain in my circle but can think of no appropriate way to end the connection.