Friendships

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All of the friends I have had, past and present have always been one sided. I always send them a message first either by text or Facebook message to have a chat. I am always the one who asks to hang out and do something. One of my friends only wants to see me when she is in my area too when she is free, what about when I am free? So we only see each other about once every few months.

This has been the same since I was a teenager. I end friendships due to this as it pretty much shows they do not value my friendship, and at the moment I only have about 4 friends and if I finish my friendships with them I will have no friends at all. I also have to keep reminding my friends the date of my wedding even though they have official invitations and i have keep nagging them to book the day off work.

My fiance has experienced this too and she's even been stood up twice by the same person (she doesn't talk to him anymore) and she isn't autistic and doesn't have a disability.

Why are people like this towards me? Apart from my fiance it feels like no one likes me. Friendships are meant to be a two sided relationship.

I would not be so quick to officially end friendships do to this. If only for the reason that friends are so so hard to make. As Aspies we think we are following the rules of friendship and doing the right thing. But we miss social cues or something and we become offended for no reason. Be careful dropping good people from your life. A lot of people don't have excessive time to devote to friendships, especially as they get older.

I would not remind these people about your wedding. They should RSVP. If they miss your wedding, I would not contact them. At that point, they can contact you and hopefully apologize. You can say, "It hurt me that you missed my special day." And see what they say. These people allow you to guide the friendships because that's what you've always done.

I'm actually realizing more and more that I've rejected a lot of friendship offers from people. Or I unconsciously ruined a friendship with someone who wanted to be friends with me.

And yeah, I don't get a lot of calls to hang out these days. But when I do get them, do I act like I don't want to be around that person? Do I do things to ruin the friendship opportunities that are given to me? I believe that yes, I sometimes do. So now I'm trying to make an effort to be friends with people who offer their friendship, and to not complain so much that no one ever calls me, especially because many times it's been me who rejected them.