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Joe90
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05 Feb 2017, 1:36 pm

Lately, when I walk to work in the mornings, there has been big groups of school kids and college students waiting at a bus stop, and I always get a mild panic attack having to walk by them. I think the bus times have changed or something, because there never used to be anyone else about anywhere that time of the morning. I worry that soon they might pick up on the way I look shy or something, see it as a weakness, and start picking on me for it. I am not scared, I just can't be bothered with having to deal with all that from kids 10 years younger than me, on my way to work. When I walk by, I don't know where to look. I don't want to make eye contact, but I become all conscious of where I'm looking and what I'm doing with my hands, and my heart starts beating faster.

Does anyone else have trouble walking past groups of young people? How do you deal with it?


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dossa
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05 Feb 2017, 1:57 pm

I tend to be the opposite. I am often oblivious to people around me. They have to be really loud or annoying to get my attention... that or close to me. I don't like people too close to me.

I wonder if you could just put on some headphones. I find that people try to approach me less in the grocery store when I remember to wear my headphones... if I forget someone will show up to ask if I need help or something, so headphones seem to be a good people deterrent for me. Point of that being, if you are concerned they will say something to you they might not once they see headphones. You don't even need to be playing music... though music could be a good distraction on its own for you if you can just rock out to something that makes you feel good... get caught up in that instead of other people and all.


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Fraser_1990
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05 Feb 2017, 2:16 pm

I don't like walking past people ever. I also don't like people walking behind me, or me walking behind other people. I always think they consider me "suspicious" in some way.


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05 Feb 2017, 2:38 pm

I don't personally mind walking past groups of people. It's face-to-face interactions, especially with strangers, that are greatly problematic to me.


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05 Feb 2017, 3:12 pm

I am the same, the way I get around it is by either wearing headphones and listening to music so I can not hear anything, or by wearing sunglasses or by pretending to check messages on my phone (and hopefully not tripping over) or I find doing all three works best.
But to be perfectly honest immature little kids who yell things out to people are just immature little kids who are trying to showoff to the group and hopefully one day they will grow up and realise how stupid they were.



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05 Feb 2017, 3:23 pm

Fraser_1990 wrote:
I don't like walking past people ever. I also don't like people walking behind me, or me walking behind other people. I always think they consider me "suspicious" in some way.


I'm pretty similar, there is nothing I hate more than walking behind someone. Groups of young people are particularly triggering as well, it's probably some left over trauma from going to schools filled with gangs and future murderous thugs.

Headphones and sunglasses are good advice, I find walking around a lot easier when I do



SaveFerris
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05 Feb 2017, 4:13 pm

Joe90 wrote:

Does anyone else have trouble walking past groups of young people? How do you deal with it?


I have issues walking past anybody. If it's not winter I'll wear sunglasses which seems to reduce the anxiety for me. It's only recently that I deliberately don't make eye contact ( I used to make eye contact with everyone I passed no matter how much it messed me up ) , I try to blur them out , I focus on a spot in the distance , keep looking at it and blur or filter people out. I sometimes will use my phone as a distraction , I don't actually use it , I just hold it out in front of me like Im texting and pretend to text but just slightly look over the top of my phone so I don't have an accident , stand in a dog egg etc


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Joe90
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05 Feb 2017, 4:28 pm

I think my anxiety stems back from my high school days. I used to get picked on by kids I didn't even know, on the walk home from school. And I just don't need that kind of treatment as an adult.

It has to be really bright and sunny for me to wear sunglasses, as my eyes aren't sensitive to light. And when walking to work in the morning, the sun is still rising, and the weather is usually dull or foggy.


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north404
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05 Feb 2017, 5:07 pm

I feel the same way. I usually just have my headphones on and sort of gaze at another direction while walking past them.



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05 Feb 2017, 5:48 pm

I also feel like I give off these "weak" vibes to people. A lot of them seem to target me or show contempt towards me. It's usually not scary, but it gets annoying. I try to keep busy around them if I can.



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05 Feb 2017, 7:03 pm

Yeah I been there

it sucks



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05 Feb 2017, 8:04 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think my anxiety stems back from my high school days. I used to get picked on by kids I didn't even know, on the walk home from school. And I just don't need that kind of treatment as an adult.


You're not in high school anymore and are most likely a lot more mature than these kids, who are still maturing. If they're not actively bullying you in any way, try to remain focused on where you're going. As you say, keep looking straight, pay them no attention, don't let them into your world. They most likely won't bother you if you don't bother them.

If you want to get by them a bit quicker, though, maybe you could buy a scooter and use that to get to work. You could even just use it to get past that general area and then tie it up to a street post, if it's too heavy to carry (or if it's a hilly area, etc.)



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05 Feb 2017, 8:52 pm

Sometimes walking alone near a group of people can be perfectly fine,
other times, it can be dangerous.
I've been in both situations, and at one point, had to run up a hill
and through someone's yard for safety
to get away from a gang of teens.
Good thing I was a runner in high school.

In any case, acting and looking confident helps ...
even if you don't feel confident.

I would say, don't wear headphones
or peer down into an i-phone, etc ...
that will make you look distracted, and like an easy target.

Walk with a purpose, stay alert,
be aware of your surroundings.



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05 Feb 2017, 9:22 pm

The group(s) I wade through daily are not a threat, so I realize that it's just a temporary anxiety and try to move past it as soon as possible. I'm quite a brisk walker. In less certain situations I try to focus on whatever point "B" is that I'm walking to, but it is important to be aware of your surroundings and plan in advance. Don't hang out in dangerous areas at night if you can help it and avoid confrontation and revealing nervousness to the best of your ability.

You're much less likely to encounter super dodgy people in general, so that's probably worth bearing in mind too.



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05 Feb 2017, 9:55 pm

I should of mentioned that as I'm 6" 2' , 17 stone and look like trouble ( which I'm not ) I never feel physically threatened by anyone but a teenager is more than a match for me psychologically.


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SaveFerris
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05 Feb 2017, 10:05 pm

the_phoenix wrote:

I would say, don't wear headphones
or peer down into an i-phone, etc ...
that will make you look distracted, and like an easy target.

.


I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this Phoenix , as it's the UK and in broad daylight at a bus stop. If it was dark or down an alley I would agree. As for looking down at a phone or wearing headphones , this makes you blend in these days although my advice is to use your phone as a focal point to ease your anxiety , it doesn't mean you have to be distracted. Obviously I'm male , maybe not have ASD so make of this what you will.


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