Should I fire this person?

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I've had this lady come in and teach me algebra/math to help me prepare for the GED. But now she's more concerned with making me get "organized" and accusing me of being a hoarder because I don't want to throw out my first Wacom tablet. She thinks I should donate it, but it doesn't work anymore and it's over a decade. She thinks someone would get some use out of it...but not everyone uses Wacom tablets. She also is constantly telling me that since I'm not organized, well HER way of being organized, I will never be able to get through college, let alone veterinary school. She also has the nerve to tell me how I should do my art. I use watercolors for semi-realism but she says watercolors are supposed to be "whimsical" and that I should switch to acrylic. Excuse me? That's really none of her business. I'm surprised she doesn't try to tell me WHAT to draw or what color to use. But then if she did, I would have fired her a long time ago.

I had to fire another tutor because I felt she was getting too involved in my personal life and it creeped me out. She had a daughter with Down Syndrome and also worked with special needs people. My dad says her maternal instincts are just in high gear right now, but I am NOT her child. She's in her seventies and I suspect it's catching up to her and she's going senile. I've spent entire lessons being lectured by her about how I need to get organized instead of learning math skills. I want to look into someone else, but also give her another chance. When she can focus on math, she's really good. But people who do things other than what they were hired to do really annoy me. Especially when what they are doing isn't helpful at all. I've been having panic attacks just thinking of her coming over again. How do I get her to understand that she is NOT my therapist or parent and I feel she is overstepping that boundary and making me uncomfortable without being rude. How do I basically tell her to cut it out and mind her own business? I'm starting to have panic attacks and non epileptic seizures from the stress of thinking about her coming back.

She is trying to give you the skills to be able to study properly... clutter and disorganization are a death knell for studying...

Finding a way of organization *that works for you* as a necessary foundation for your algebra studies is acceptable. Having you organize things that works for her but not for you is not productive, does not help your studies. Making suggestions about your art is out of bounds, none of her business unless you asked for her opinion, which it seems you did not.

I agree about communicating your thoughts to her and giving her a a chance to change her approach since you say she is actually a good tutor when she's focusing on math. You can tell her basically what you have written here:

I've spent entire lessons being lectured by her about how I need to get organized instead of learning math skills.

When she can focus on math, she's really good. But people who do things other than what they were hired to do really annoy me. Especially when what they are doing isn't helpful at all.

she is NOT my therapist or parent and I feel she is overstepping that boundary and making me uncomfortable

I want to...give her another chance... [or else] I want to look into someone else.


To be fair, she needs for these things to be communicated to her so she has a chance to change. If you feel uncomfortable speaking it to her, an alternative could be put it in a letter and read it to her.

Since the situation is affecting your health, it's no question that the situation must be changed immediately. If you have expressed all of this to her and she does not change her approach, it's necessary to break contact with her and find someone else if you value your health.

I agree. Organization is awesome but not if the method doesn't work for you. The language you used here is good, and I don't know any other way to solve the problem than to put it all out there. Good luck.

It sounds like she needs to go. She's getting too personally involved. Organizational skills are important for success, but you didn't hire her for that. If she's not providing the service you are paying her for, she need to be fired.

I had to do that once, with a cleaner. It sucked. But she was not doing the job I hired her to do. I did talk to her first. I told her that I needed her to follow the rules that I set forth when she started to work here. Specifically, she is not to play with my dog and she needs to get the work done by noon. When I finally fired her, she had taken the dog for a walk, and wasn't finished before 1:30.

I also had to fire a coach who wanted to talk about my self esteem instead of sticking to the subject I wanted to speak about. This was one of the reasons I got myself re-evaluated for ASD as an adult. She claimed that my challenges with socializing were just self-esteem issues. a***hole.

That last one I stopped using more quickly. I asked her in the beginning of our session that I prefered to stick to the subject, and by the end of our session, it was clear that she was not going to do so, so I didn't go back.

It doesn't seem as if you're in Namibia, after all!

The suggestions about the art are absurd; each artist has his/her own style, and uses their own methodology. Nobody should try to impose their art methodology on any one.

I would fire her----but I would also take some of her suggestions pertaining to "organization."

I figured that LOL.

I was only kidding, too!

She's also hit me. Not in an abusive way, put with a stack of papers. I think she was trying to be funny but I didn't find it funny and I had a headache afterward. She hit me because I bought a sketchbook and she didn't think I should have because she thinks I have too many.

Seriously?????

She's a friggin' nut!

You should probably get another tutor LOL.

Has this one helped at all?

Maybe you ought to keep her for math.

And threaten to call the cops should she ever hit you again LOL

How long is your contract with her?