I'm skeptical of my HFA diagnoses.

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Hi there.
I'm a 16 year old female and last year, I was assessed twice and diagnosed with high functioning autism.
However, myself and multiple others are becoming increasingly skeptical of the diagnoses. It's quite evident that I have sensory processing disorder, but what makes us so skeptical is that I simply do not experience social difficulty, and on some occasions have been told that I am very emotionally aware/mature.
I was briefly appointed co-facilitator of a group that helps train youth for employment, and the group leader and therapist who also worked there would sometimes consult me to find out the vibe of the group; they felt that I had good intuition when it came to reading peoples' emotions and feelings about the program.
Prior to the assessments and diagnoses, I saw two professionals who did not think I had autism - one of those professionals even specialized in autism. However, those opinions were based off of multiple sessions of seeing me instead of a one off assessment.
Although you should always take online quizzes with a grain of salt, I have taken a few autism tests and none of them indicated that I was on the autism spectrum. Here's what one of them said which I took just now:
"Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 67 of 20
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 156 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical"
I'm just very confused and I have no idea who or what to believe. I attended an Asperger's support group for teenagers a few months ago and I simply did not fit in. I often can not relate to other aspies' experiences in terms of social interaction, because it seems that I don't experience the same difficulties that they do.
What is going on? Is it possible that I'm on the very fringe of the autism spectrum? I am very apprehensive in identifying as someone with HFA because I simply feel that for the most part, it doesn't fit.

I relate to this a lot! I actually just made a similar forum.
I got the HFA diagnosis as a child, but it never felt quite right. I too had sensory sensitivities and some social difficulties, mostly just in being withdrawn. When I take the online quizzes I often get the neurotypical result, and I too seem neurotypical in my communication. For me however, the problem is that it drains me from energy. I use a lot of energy in being social, especially if there are a lot of people or if it's with someone I don't know that well.
Whenever I've complained about not feeling like my diagnosis fits me, I always get the "well, it's a really wide spectrum, you just happen to be at the end of it"-answer.

I just wonder how you even happened to get the official diagnosis, if you have no social difficulties at all. I assume there were professionals who tested and talked with you about your experiences? Social impairment is a big part of autism, and if you honestly have none, then I understand why you feel like your diagnosis doesn't fit you. Though when I was 16, your age, I didn't want to admit to myself that I actually did struggle with the social stuff. I was actually sort of ashamed of my diagnosis, so I denied a lot of things to myself. I'm not saying this is the case with you, but it's just my experiences.

I used to think that my social difficulties were minimal. Recently, I discovered that I actually had significant social difficulties, and I'd just been too naïve to be aware of it.

The thing is, you don't have to tell anyone about your diagnosis. If you think it doesn't fit, it's possible they could be wrong. Even if they are right, what does it matter? A diagnosis is good for a few things. First, it can qualify you for other assistance. It can also give you a sense of self and an understanding of yourself. It can help others understand you as well. But you don't have to use it. Similarly, someone without a diagnosis might identify as ASD and that is enough for them. They get all the benefits besides social assistance and it helps them cope.

If it doesn't help you, put it to the back of your head for now and go on about life.

I haven't been tested or diagnosed yet, but I'm feeling confused as well. It comes down to having a lot of problems that do line up with a lot of Asperger's traits, but not to the extreme that some people describe. I have the social skills problems, but I actually also haven't had many problems making and keeping friends. I do have special interests that at times have caused problems for me, but it's been in certain situations rather than an ongoing problem- too focused on things I like at times, but not the stereotypical "all special interest, all the time" mode I hear a lot about. In fact much of the confusion for me is seeing how I really could be an aspie but also seeming to function in non-aspie ways in many situations. Where social skills or interests have been a problem, it's been when a few people overreact rather than me upsetting a lot of people.

For that matter, I can be around people but I'm also very strict about my "alone" time. I can be around people up to a point but I need breaks from it. Always hated the "forced" interactions when I was younger.

The problems focusing are real, and I do have meltdowns, but they're more internalized. Usually not much yelling or a raised voice, but feeling overloaded in a way where I feel it, feel distressed at not being in control, but still able to seek an "exit" to the stressful situation before things get really bad. When I've not been able to leave the situation, the effects linger for a long time- like when I've felt part of a day ruined by a stressful bus ride.

Part of my not being sure also comes from past experience with various people trying to foist a "mentally challenged" designation on me based on what seemed to be petty reasons or just plain ignorance about what being assessed as "gifted" meant or what my disability and the lesser health issues when I was younger were really all about. I do admit to not maturing as fast as most people but that too is one of those things most people I know never cared about or see as just me being unique, but a few people might act bothered about. I can also relate to the executive functioning problems associated with Asperger's, but rent and bills get paid, and my pets are of course well cared for. Where I run into problems is keeping track of tertiary details with money- trying to "nickle and dime" things to save money, or being organized without feeling like organization and housecleaning isn't a huge imposition on my time. Not being lazy, but rather feeling like I can't think about "nothing" while cleaning the apartment because there's always something important that I feel like I'm not giving enough of my time to.

One big difference I see is that I live on my own with some help, and while unemployed, I'm working on a project that has a really good chance of making me money later on once things really get going. But I meet other aspies who seem very intelligent and capable, but they're living with their parents and working food service, cleaning, or other lower-level jobs. I've seen something similar with physical disabilities, and wonder if my situation is a fluke, because so many talented wheelchair users are also end up not being allowed to be independent.

So for me, it would be good to have a diagnosis, because from there I can pursue treatment, but I'm leery of having to possibly accept being classified as intellectually disabled.