Obsessed with more quality time

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About 6 months ago, I became friends with a schoolmate. In a short time we became very close. One of the things I liked most about this friend is that he had a pretty open policy. Very rarely did he tell me he couldn't hang out. Occasionally, he would initiate our hanging out.

He recently took on new responsibilities (wife, pet, increased focus on school). Which means less free time. I thought this semester would be about solidifying our friendship, but now its a matter of trying to work my way into the friend's schedule. I've told the friend about the concern, and we do hang out some. But only three times this year.

The problem is I had gotten so used to our being close friends, that absent this, I can't focus on anything else. My school work is suffering. When I'm with other friends (or right after), I think about how I would have enjoyed hanging out with this friend more. And even the last couple of times I've hung out with this friend, it has been overshadowed by my worry that this isn't enough.

The friend understandably has more responsibilities. But I think there is more room to give. He knows of my concern. I've mentioned it once directly and once quickly to add context to the first time. It physically hurts (I'll sometimes shake and stumble) when this friend says he's busy. But I can't push him too much or it will probably scare him off.

Thoughts for coping?

I am split between extrovert and introvert, which is useful because I get energy from both quiet time and people. I would be lying if I could spend some time with some people I know, and I greatly wish to spend time with people I have wanted to date in the past. Beyond these rules though, I am mostly willing to spend time with the autistics and Aspies I know because I find it significantly easier to read their feelings, but not necessarily everyone.
Try doing homework together or get support our help managing your homework and studying. If you are autistic, you are entitled that care from the school, no matter how terrible it may be. Try to study with friends# it can improve motivation and morale as well.

Just an observation. It seems like you are a lot more committed to the friendship. If you were the one who had taken on what he has keeping him busy, wouldn't you find a way to hang out more often?

I'm going to be blunt, because I've been there: Watch out for emotional dependency. When you can't enjoy other friends as you should, or even function properly for thinking of him that is very unhealthy. You will ultimately create more awkwardness in the friendship and that's the end of it. You are a worthy person without his validation. But he also deserves to be treated as human, with space and boundaries, not placed on a pedestal or objectified. See thread about having people as special interests.

^ this. Emotional dependency is something I continuously struggle with. I have realised that if I spend at least part of that alone time in reading, watching movies and documentaries, and overall paying attention to myself instead of that particular person, I tend to feel much more accomplished. This is not to say that one should actively ignore others, but to try to find activities that you enjoy doing on your own / with others for your own sake and fulfilment and that are not directly related to spending time with that one person. Hope some of this helps.

I agree, you will scare him off, so you need to chill on that front. To cope, try branching out and making more friends since you seem able to do this. Become involved with volunteering or work. When you are with other friends, be in the moment with them and make the most of it.