The social skills of a nine year old?

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My mother told me earlier that I have "the social skills of a nine year old". I don't understand how she came to this conclusion. Just because I'm quiet and I like to do work on my own? How is this necessarily a bad thing? I don't like to do chores when she's there, because she wants everything to be done her way. Little does she know, there are fifty ways to do the exact same thing just as effectively. I've been arguing with her a lot recently. I'm going through puberty and she's going through that thing for older women they advertise on television. I'm not sure what they call it.

Has anyone else been called similar? How did you react?

It might be called "menopause."

When a woman becomes (most frequently) between 45 and 55, they stop menstruating. This causes lots of symptoms, including irritability and hot flashes. It's not a nice thing for a woman to go through. If she wants to talk about how she is feeling, try to listen to her. She might not want to let you know she's going through menopause, though. So don't ask her unless she tells you.

Virtually all kids your age argue with their parents. It's inevitable.

No, it wasn't a nice thing to say to you. My mother still says similar things sometimes--and I'm 56 years old!

It is hard to understand now a mothers love and commitment but she is likely the person who will put up with the most, love you the most, and be your biggest advocate and defender.

Of course there are multiple ways to do a task. Try to understand exactly what she wants though and see if you can come to a compromise. I'll bet she would give you wayyyyy more leeway if you spoke kindly to her and were patient. Then you would also appear to have better social skills.

Perhaps she reacted harshly but it's best to let these little things go. If it's not a little thing to you then try mentioning it, "What you said hurt my feelings." Then get on with life. Nobody wants to fight all the time.

The word you are looking for is either PMS or menopause.

If you value your life, do not ask your mother if she is PMSing or going through menopause! Women do not like to have other people blame their bad moods on their menstrual cycle.

It's a good rule in life to never, never do anything to imply that a woman's period, or lack of period is behind her behavior, even if you are pretty sure that it is behind it.

Now, it's possible that your mom is extra cranky because of menopause or because of PMS. You just shouldn't say anything to imply that you think that. It's just one of those things. Doing so will only make her get mad at you.

I'm sorry she said that. It was a really mean thing to say. Sometimes, parents just mess up.