Phone Appointment - pre-diagnosis - What to ask?

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Next week I have a 15 minute phone appointment scheduled with a psychologist who specializes in children. Especially children on the spectrum.

Two weeks ago I was at a psychologist with my adopted child. I told the therapist that I would like her help with my 6 year old son as well. Told her that he's super good at math and logic puzzles, but doesn't socialize, has frequent meltdowns, and prefers to either play video games or hide under a blanket fort with his tablet whilst chewing on his clothes. Mentioned that I thought he might take after my Dad who is crazy smart in math and computers but has trouble with socializing and communicating.

Psychologist says, "Sounds like they might both have Aspergers."

Two weeks of crazy, obsessive reading of every website and blog on Aspergers.

During all this reading, come across symptoms of Aspergers in women. Oh my gosh, somebody just explained my whole childhood on paper.

So, back to present day. I suspect I might have Aspergers. I suspect my 6 year old and 2 year old sons might have Aspergers. And, I'm not sure, but my 9 year old year old daughter hits alot of the symptoms as well. My adopted son doesn't have any of the symptoms. We'll refer to him as Reference Point A.

I homeschool the kids and that goes really well. I'm not sure if I even need a formal diagnosis for us since I won't be seeking an IEP. But, I want help. I want my children not to struggle the way I did.

Given the scope of the issue:

1. What questions should I be asking the therapist during this phone interview?
2. Her office said she does testing for Aspergers. Do we need formal testing?

I would definitely tell her about that. Adults often find out they are autistic when they research autism for their kids and realize they are reading about themselves.

I would tell her that you are unsure about getting a diagnosis for yourself and your family. What are the pro's and con's?

I can start answering the last question.
Professional conformation can erase a lot of doubts. There are therapies and approaches to learning geared towered people on the spectrum. There are certain things that should be avoided or need to be done slowly.

The con is getting too attached to the label and thinking certain things can not be done because of Aspergers. This is often not true. Disability does not mean inability.