Not trusting family much. Keeping secrets from them

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Hello all,

I understand that the best/worst traits in Aspergers is that we are truthful as hell and are hella blunt when something is annoying us. I am like that with friends/business friends, strangers, and others but for some reason, I can't seem to be truthful to my parents. Especially with my sister and brother-in-law since they seem to shut me down everytime I try and tell them something about myself and my Aspergers.

I don't trust my family enough to discuss ASD with them, either. I only discussed it with my parents about 3 months ago, and the sort of forced me into it.

My parents have treated me quite badly as a result of my ASD-like behaviours; they refused to accept that I could be ND, and accuse me and punish me for being lazy, selfish, heartless, and of pretending to be stupid if I exhibit any Aspie-ish traits. As a result of this I do not consider them to be 'family' to me - I dislike them very much, and do not love them (I haven't felt affection for them since I was 8-9).

Essentially, I do keep a lot of secrets from my family. I see no reason why I should share with them things that are important to me.

P.S.
I hope I did alright with the 'not writing paragraphs' thing? I was trying my best, but a little unsure what you meant.

I can't trust my family with my ASD either.
My partner is extremely supportive, my daughter is only 4 so her knowledge is limited but I try to explain things to her the best I can and she really is accommodating when I can't do something.
I haven't told my parents or siblings. They just wouldn't believe me as they have always assume I was lying about my depression and other health issues. My mother works in a speical needs school, she works with children who have ASD and she has never suspected I have it, mainly because she always shuts down anything that makes it seem that her or her family is "less then". Sort of a "it won't happen to me" mentality. It's disgusting.
(edited, after I saw the paragraphs thing. )

That reminds me of my mother so much.

Maan I am soo good for that, keeping stuff from my folks. Mine is mostly because my folks worry alot and they worry about stuff they can't control so its better for them to not know about certain stuff for that reason.

It is possible it's a trust issue. Or maybe there just isn't much to talk about with family the way there is with friends. The two are a little different.

I love my family, I trust them, but we're also very different in some ways. I'm the only one with Asperger's or any diagnosis, so they're not familiar with the type of struggles I go through themselves. The way we spend our time is very different, too, so it's a little hard to connect if we're not out at the movies or talking about work (and I left the field most of my family is in, I hated it).

I've kept many secrets from my parents. Most of the secrets that I've kept were related to my special interests. There was one secret that I kept for 30 years. I was a pretty good actor playing Cockney Rebel in order to hide my preference for Germany over Britain. I don't talk to my mum about my helmets anymore. Not since last March. My mum doesn't even know the real reason that I wear those helmets. I wear them so people can see that I'm Transgender. I'm thinking of getting a Trans symbol to wear either on one side, or the back of my real helmet so people know it's not about feminism.

Well, I feel a bit like that too. I wish to be open with my parents, but I find it really difficult nowadays. They have kept my diagnosis from me for years, and they have always criticized and mocked me for my 'aspie-like' behaviors, so now I have finally found out about my ASD (my sister told me) I feel I can't talk to them about it. It hurts to be unable to trust my parents, but after what they did I don't think I am to blame for keeping things from them.

I can SO relate to this. I tell complete strangers the most personal of things about myself. But isn't that more a trait of Borderline Personality Disorder? I have that, too, along with Asperger's. I've been trying to be more truthful to my family about stuff, but there's still a couple of secrets I'm keeping from them and I'm afraid to tell them. Sometimes I try not to think of it as a big deal, but it kind of is. Maybe I should just wait for the right moment to reveal myself to them? I can especially relate to being shut down by family members (particularly step relatives) whenever I try to explain to them why I am the way I am. My stepmom has told me that it's bull$#!t that I'm autistic. The rest of my family thinks I just use my autism as an excuse. Hopefully, they'll someday be more understanding, instead of treating me like a doormat. They're always right and I'm always wrong. It's been like that all my life and I'm sick and tired of it! I'm going to tell them that, too, one of these days; when the timing's right, of course. I haven't heard that term "hella" in a while; not since I lived in California, where they said that all the time. "Hecka" was pretty popular, too. Are you from California by any chance? I didn't bother to check what you're location is. I become easily annoyed, too, and have been blunt about it at times. I've become better at speaking my mind and at speaking up for myself. The worse my mood is, the easier it is for me to tell it like it is.

You did good. Personally, 1 paragraph is good for replying. I got too many people on here writing paragraphs after paragraphs to which I am saying to myself, f**k man, might as well write a novel for me.

Hey everyone,

I just read all this. Okay, I most definitely agree with everyone on here and spot on on how I can relate to everyone. Anyway, I love my family, I just don't show it the way they want me. Hell I don't even talk to my parents much and am always anxious around my mom. Anxious of saying the wrong thing to get her upset. My dad, him and I seem to think different a lot of the times. Also, with my sister and brother-in-law, everytime they tell me to be truthful about things (getting fired, girls, etc.) it seems to backfire on me (them yelling at me, them not listening to me, them judging me, etc.)