Should I say something?

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I know somebody that I think might have AS. Should I say something?

I have known this married couple for about a year and a half. The husband seems like he might have AS. He doesn't really talk much at all in social situations. He usually brings a book or a video game and sits in the corner by himself. His wife does most of the talking and social arranging for him. He's very into science fiction and video games.

Nobody has ever said anything about him, but since I have found out about AS and been diagnosed myself, I really wonder about him.

The question is, do I mention anything? And if I do, do I talk to him or his wife? I don't really know him that well, because he doesn't really talk much (and neither do I). But I know his wife better.

Anybody else have this issue or any thoughts?

If he has problems and a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome would help him, then you should probably find some way to tell him. If he doesn't have any problems that would not be helped by having a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome, then I suggest you don't bother telling either of them about it.

Sounds difficult.

I guess it depends mainly on whether or not it is causing any problems. If they couple are happy as they are and they accept eachother's 'quirks' then I don't really see that there is anything to be gained by it.

It also depends on how well you know them. Unless you know someone REALLY well, it can be considered inappropriate to say things about they psyche.

If you do decide to say something, it might be worth introducing the subject in a way that doesn't relate directly to the couple. So you could start with "I read a really great book about Asperger Syndrome, have you read it?" or "Did you see that really great documentary about AS the other day?" and then proceed to tell them about the book - make no reference to the fact that you think the husband might have it. Just plant the idea in their heads and leave it to them to decide whether or not it is relevant to them.

But it can be a sensitive subject, so the best advice I can give is to be careful.