Do you argue about everything? Are you always contrary?

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I feel like I'm always an as*hole. I don't know how to stop. If someone says good morning, I would say , well it's not morning now, instead of saying something nice back like good morning. If someone gives me a gift I often end up insulting the gift or questioning the intentions when I should just say thanks and leave it at that.

I really want to be a nice person because no one likes me, not even my family. But I just don't understand until after the fact that I've done something/said something wrong.

How in the world can I change this and be more aware?

If it is morning, do you say "good morning" back? That would make sense.

If it isn't morning, just say "I hope your day has been a good one," or something like that.

How do you feel when you go buy somebody a gift? Do you think about the effort you made to buy the gift? And the money you spent? Frequently, the person who bought the gift for you has also made a decent effort to get the gift, and has spent some hard-earned money for it, just like you did.

I would think about your experiences with things. And extend your experiences to thinking about how other people experience things. This is how I became better at socializing. It didn't come naturally to me.

I have that need to correct information too, if it's not accurate. It just blurt it out before I can stop it. It makes me hard to like

find a way to wait... even if it's for a second... before responding to someone or saying something...

once the brakes are on try and reflect about what you are going to say...

this may be tough as you may find yourself trapped between saying/doing something you may/will regret later (immediately or delayed) and then not saying/doing anything at all and seeming to be just as callous...

just my initial thoughts...

I want to be nice and liked but I also find problems with the stupid lies we tell each other, that's why I can't do it.

I agree, I should pause and think first. But like you said, I might just end up mute.

If it's 11AM and someone says good morning, I would just say it's not morning now. My partner told me happy anniversary and my first thought was it's not our anniversary yet, and being annoyed that he said it early, and had already celebrated it early yesterday, and it just went on too much. I think a normal person would say, thanks, you too.

But it was in a message so I had time to think and didn't say all that negative crap.

But 11 AM IS morning LOL

then why do they stop serving breakfast at 1030

i have done a lot of reflecting recently and i recalled the only girlfriend i had in college... first year... lasted a little over a month...

she said happy one month anniversary and i think i argued that 4 weeks was the one month mark vs the same numerical day of the following month... so like i said... it lasted just over one month...

i was going to mention something i heard regarding executive function of normal people vs people with adhd...

executive function is much more complex than the following definition but at least it's a starting point...

Executive function is a set of mental skills that help you get things done. These skills are controlled by an area of the brain called the frontal lobe. Executive function helps you: Manage time. Pay attention.
-www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/executive-function

ok... so one of the things that encompasses executive function is our ability to reflect for a split second before we do or say something... this obviously directly relates to people with ADHD and more than likely aspies either have the wonderful dual issues of both AS and ADHD or they simply have varying degrees of executive function dysfunction independent of ADHD...

regardless... i tend to talk a lot sometimes...

the time difference, from what i recall, of someone with normal EF (executive function) versus someone with ADHD regarding the ability to stop and reflect about doing something dumb as opposed to not doing it is on the order of about 50 milliseconds...

50 milliseconds stands between you doing/saying something dumb and thinking of something else to do or say...

1/20th of a second...

and aspies have the extra burden of not being able to properly digest what we have heard nor the ability to properly respond regardless of how much time we take to respond...

this is a bit overwhelming for me to think about let alone write about...

LOL...I have no idea why they stop serving breakfast at 10:30.

But "morning" extends to 11:59:59. At precisely 12:00:01, it becomes afternoon. 12:00:00 is "high noon."

I don't think I'm contrary but I am a little pendantic and I also think I am right all the time ( which can cause arguments ).

My favourite retort to 'Good Morning' is 'Whats good about it' and everyone thinks I am joking with deadpan humour when I'm deadly serious , I never correct them on that though

People think I am a master of deadpan humour when actually I mean what I say , you can get away with a lot when people think this

Because if they didn't you couldn't have brunch and what a sad world that would be without brunch

the following was said about an extremely bright ex-partner of my dads...

"sometimes he's right... sometimes he's wrong... but he's never in doubt."

i dont think he (not my dad the other guy) he ever worked with anyone who didnt wind up suing him...

The morning thing wouldn't happen here. Here we call it morning until 9, the it's formiddag until noon, and then it's afternoon until 18, when evening starts. Night start when it's dark (which means that in winter night starts at 15-16! )
11 isn't morning.


By the way, I can relate to being a bit of a contrarian. If someone is extremely for or against something, I tend to automatically take an at least somewhat opposing stand, even if I have to cherry pick what I disagree with.

It sounds like you think literally about what they're saying instead of the intent of the greeting, which is to be in good relations with you.
The solution is to realize that the factual statement (time of day) isn't the issue. Wanting to be pleasant and keep positive relations is. Just respond with whatever they're saying.

It's never a bad idea to be aware that intentions can absolutely be important if someone gives you something, especially out of the blue.
You don't need to state it to them, but it's always good to not be naive. A certain amount of skepticism is sound and natural.

One time I argued (well, more like attempted reasoning) with an anti-vaxxer on Facebook who believed pertussis vaccines don't work at all or give people whooping cough and that it's an evil government conspiracy. I told them about how my brother once got whooping cough when he was a kid and how terrible it was for him. They told me all my brother needed to be cured was vitamin K or some nonsense.

I realized then that this person and reason were like oil and water and it was no use to continue. Winning an argument with a smart person is hard, but when it's a stupid person, it's nearly impossible. (exp.+2)

I do exactly what you described all the time. I feel like it hurts other people's feelings, but I don't mean to do it. The last thing I wanna do is make someone feel bad, but I end up feeling a bit like an as*hole, too. :/

Well the good news is I haven't been sued yet

One of of my friends started getting the names/traits of the original 150 Pokemon wrong and then I just had to Shut That Sh!! Down. Like, I didn't even think about it. I was just like, "oh, you're wrong, here is the correct information" and had zero thoughts about how it was received because I felt like I was doing the right thing by letting him know. If I hear anything factually inaccurate or that I Know Is Wrong, I will correct it without thinking about how it will be received.