Socially acceptable special interests vs. weird ones

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So I just got into makeup as a special interest. I've worn makeup since I was twelve, but it was never exactly a special interest. I originally got into it more to look more NT and attractive, but I ended up getting into geekier things like color theory.

In the past and somewhat in the present I've had more nice special interests like Finnish polka music or optometry.

At first I thought having a socially accepted special interest would make things easier, but I've discovered there's always a mismatch. Especially when it's something like makeup. Whenever I discuss makeup, I always notice I huge mismatch between the way average girls see it and I see it. Even if the girl is a makeup lover. I'm sure aspie guys who are into sports experience the same issue.

When I talk about more niche things like Finnish polka music at least I don't notice that mismatch if the other person is into Finnish polka music as well. Most people aren't into Finnish polka music or a lot of my other obscure interests, so it just never comes up in conversation.

I have a general comment about the way that we talk about our interests. From observing myself and others, it seems like people will have a higher rate of receptivity to listening to an Aspie talk about his special interest if he conveys his total willingness to drop the subject. I mean, if I just drop one interesting fact or two with no embellishment, and then stop talking about it, it raises more interest than when I have simply gone off on my favorite lecture.

I feel fairly certain that many people will find many more things interesting than we expect, if we can start with our own excitement and eagerness at a low simmer rather than a full boil.

Talking about makeup "color theory" with a professional makeup artist (or painter even) ought to be a better match than the average person who just wants to cover the basics.

Likewise, if a grain of sand gets trapped in your eye, you'll be more widely understood when exclaiming, "Ow, I have sand in the white of my eye!" than "Ow, there's a bit of silicate in my sclera!"

It helps to know your audience.

I consider myself a geek from way back before high school.
I became an artist way after graduating from the university.
I never before thought of color theory as being geeky.

I have in the past been approached in a shopping mall
by a lady behind a counter selling makeup
who told me I have a "winter" complexion,
which I thought was pretty cool.

I know that most people tend not to mention makeup and color theory together in passing.
Doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me either way.

That said, as others here are pointing out,
I can see where people will object
to someone rambling on and on
about just one topic of conversation.

Taking turns listening and talking is the ideal.
And yes, I know that NTs are quite capable of
launching into boring monologues and monopolizing the conversation as well.

...

You'd be perfect as a makeup artist for actors/actresses.

Are you still interested in optometry?

How is Finnish polka music different from Polish polka music?

I would bet that you would enjoy the Lawrence Welk Show, even though his polka music was more conventional.

It didn't matter what my special interest was as a kid, they were always seen as "weird" and I wasn't allowed to talk about them because my parents needed a "break" from hearing about them. I was only allowed to talk about them at certain times of the day and for a certain amount of time. Free speech didn't exist in my house. Well, at least not for me. I eventually started seeing through the hypocrisy and would talk about meerkats whenever the hell I felt I like it because they didn't have restrictions on what they could talk about or for how long they could talk about it and my parents talked about the same thing all the time. My mom was friends with this dog trainer lady who probably had diagnosed Asperger's and was ALWAYS talking about wolves, German Shepards, raw diets, training techniques (she made Cesar Milan look humane) but my mom never told her to shut up. When I confronted my mom about it, she said it would be rude. But somehow it wasn't rude to make her own daughter feel unloved and unappreciated. I would just talk about meerkats anyway and eventually my mother gave up and became a meerkat expert too. But I can never forgive her all the hell she gave me for it when I was younger.

I have been able to use my interests to find social acceptance. My interest in tennis and various players led me to sign up for lessons. I have a lot of fun and see improvements in my skills.

Whether the special interest is socially acceptable or not, whether it's a common interest or a rare oddity, it's a manner on how you talk about it, if people will understand it, and your audience -- if it's this someone is a socializer for talking's sakes, or actually a learner who really wants to learn from you. Find the difference. Usually it's drop at the former, continue at the latter.


I know this, because my long term special interest is 'socially acceptable'. At the same time, I don't talk much about it because I prefer doing it. Everyone else will do the talking for themselves.

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