Perhaps not as high functioning as I've believed

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Looking at my past experiences of being tested and resisting any "intellectually disabled" classification because I also tested as gifted when I was younger, and now having read about Asperger's and autism in general, as well as having had the opportunity to meet other aspies, I'm now starting to wonder if I've been in denial and the intellectually disabled classification might have been more accurate that I was willing to admit.

It's been pointed out to me that someone can be gifted and intellectually disabled at the same time. The thing is, I had assumed that reading above grade level, having intellectual interests, and more or less functioning at a near-NT level meant that I wasn't mentally impaired, but more and more I'm seeing that I might have been very wrong. Running alongside all of that doing things above grade level or more mature than what's considered age appropriate, there's been a certain degree of immaturity, plus when I became physically disabled, trying to access support resources while avoiding having a connection to anything that was geared for intellectual disabilities.

So perhaps when I'm tested in the near future, I might just have to accept what the tests show rather than picking and choosing what I agree with. But what does the possibility of being intellectually disabled mean in light of everything else?

When you say intellectually disabled, do you mean low IQ of 70 or below? You sound smart than that because you were gifted you say and you were above your grade level. It wouldn't make sense to be that low in IQ and still be above your grade level.
I used to score in the mildly ret*d range but not anymore. My parents never believed the score.

I scored above average on the IQ tests but there was an effort to classify gifted as a mental disability, plus problems in some classes and problems with executive functioning, and lack of maturity in certain areas, but always insisting I was smart. As an adult, not appearing "serious" about responsibilities because I appear disinterested in "adult" things (mundane tasks) but always doing and talking about my interests. Beyond that, there's are a lot of times where I feel like a child pretending to be an adult, if that makes sense.

More recently, I've been wondering if perhaps my being a bit too critical about how the terms low and high functioning are used, and being too defensive about being an aspie vs. lower functioning.

Perhaps denial?

Autism is characterized by its heterogeneous development of intellectual and other cognitive skills. Some skills may be very poorly developed, at a level typical that of a person with mental retardation. On the other hand, some other skills may be brilliant.
And not so rarely, people with autism who perform poorly on standardized testing do very well in the areas of their special interests. When given enough time to study, many even excel at them. There are numerous examples of this.

Low or high functioning are way too generalizing of a term to use in most cases. If you can live independently, prepare your own food, and write at the level you do, then I'm pretty sure you're at least moderate functioning. And the functioning level does not necessarily correspond to the level of one's potential intellectual achievements.

I would advise you to be skeptical of therapists who seek to bring you down in one way or another, because it often shows that the therapist is bad and suffers from protective counter-identification (a form of defense mechanism often encountered in bad therapists, which I usually use to my own advantage).

I found out. that years ago I was diagnosed with intellectual disability. that is what is making me think. if I do or if I do not. I am smart. so I think maybe they are wrong.

I am not intellectually disabled, but I am cognitively disabled. I barely function in certain areas of common everyday living. I have to looked after 24/7. It's a weird and distressing thing to be highly intelligent (or so they say) in some respects and significantly mentally impaired in others. I don't think it is something that I will ever feel at peace with. But as they say, it is what it is and it could be a lot worse

It doesn't seem to make any sense how very smart some who are diagnosed with intellectual disability can be. But yes, maybe they are wrong. Especially if it's just being based off an IQ score.

I'm independent, and function for the most part with minimal hassle. But when someone has been very adamant that I'm more impaired than I think I am, I tend to re-think things- denying it because they're wrong, or am I denying it because I'm trying to hide something. Occasionally I've gotten some awkward questions and suprised reactions when I'm asked about how independent I am and explain my situation to them- they see my wheelchair, and perhaps pick up on my behavior as also being different, and act very suprised that I'm as independent as I am. I've seen enough people who are no more physically limited than I am but are under more restrictions in their activities or who appear high functioning mentally but also have a lot more restrictions imposed on them, so yes, I start to question whether or not my own situation- physical disability and Apserger's but living on my own with a little help from my family- is rare, and then start really taking a look at it and asking if I'm not supposed to be this independent.

Testing when I was younger would show an IQ score in the gifted range but would be negated by scoring lower on coordination tests, and "help" with social skills was being coached on the most basic interactions rather than something appropriate for someone who was smart but was a bit out of synch with their peers. At one point my parents were accepting the lower-functioning designation, as if they had an "a ha" moment, so I'd be treated as mentally challenged when I expressed myself in more intellectual ways, but could "earn" being treated as "normal" when I went along with the assigned role of someone with mental impairments. Balking at being gifted but being called "ret*d" was met with basically a "the truth hurts" response, so I was learning that being smart was something to be fixed. There was even a time where there was not so subtle talk of me being sent to an alternative school because of my behavior, so my learning to be higher functioning was basically pretending not to be smart, and indeed, suddenly things got better. But time to time, I've always wondered if everyone was wrong back then or if they were on to something and I just became adept at pretending to be NT.

So nothing was ever officially diagnosed but from time to time it's been implied that I do have an intellectual or cognitive disorder, the "proof" being how I express myself. Being "normal" most of the time but just enough problems with executive functioning and social skills that get noticed. Examples of social skills needing a lot of work have been occasions when I've asked someone out, and got busted for harassment. I know that dating is very socially unacceptable, and I've been warned in the past, but I've sometimes had lapses in judgement where I've met someone and crossed the line by asking them out on a date, being turned down, and then acting suprised later when confronted about it, because I asked that person out and didn't apologize or show remorse.

Plus I'm rethinking the way I've sought out disability support based solely on my physical disability but avoiding any connection to intellectual disability, such as seeking out other wheelchair users but not wanting to interact with persons with intellectual disabilities. Years ago I got in trouble with a disability support group when the organizers noticed that myself and the other wheelchair users weren't spending time with the mentally challenged people at the events. I used to just chalk it up in situations like that I was just wasn't comfortable with forced interactions, but now I'm wondering if that was denial on my part.

There is a huge difference between an "Intellectual Disability" and a "mental impairment". It seems like you used them interchangeably. As mentioned; an Intellectual Disability is 2 standard deviations below the norm (i.e. 70). Also, an Intellectual Disability has significant (equal to cognitive score) impairment in Adaptive skills (self-help, daily living skills, and socialization).

Adaptive skills are exhausting! I still struggle with following visual routine in washing clothes and dishes and the like.

I used to be convinced that I have the 'mildest' autism possible. While it's true nowadays my autism is classified 'high functioning', sometimes I feel like I'm more severely affected than some other autistic people in my school.
In terms of intelligence, I'd say I was average. Not particularly smart, but not intellectually delayed either. However, it sometimes takes me quite a while to grasp new concepts and it takes a while to get my thoughts organised.
I also need a lot of help with looking after myself, though I want to become more independent - it's only recently I've managed walking around a quiet town by myself without an adult (and even then I've had cases where I've nearly forgotten something and just about missed getting hit by a car. I need to improve my road sense and concentration).

I hate the phrases high-functioning and low-functioning and I'm sick of hearing them. They're too generalized and stereotypical. I could read read and draw better than most kids my age at age six but I couldn't tie my own shoes until I was maybe 10. If I was judged only for my lack of shoe-tying abilities than I'd be even worse off than I already am.

I have to say that over the past twelve months (since my Dx) I've realised that there are far more gaps and weaknesses in my "functioning skills" than I would have ever thought I had pre-finding-out-about-ASD.

In a nutshell, intellectually disabled is what they used to call mentally ret*d, like someone with Down's Syndrome.

Intellectually disabled people require substantial care 24/7.

Asking to end this. I was really upset and feeling guilty about my reactions to someone's behavior to someone at an Asperger's support group meeting, and when I get like that I start re-assessing my own perspectives and then assuming that I'm not as accepting as I think I am- really bad bipolar episode.

I also was getting caught up in trying to understand the various terms and definitions, and trying to process that clashes with my tendency to be too literal or black and white about things.

Basically I started thinking that I was being a hypocrite because I was bothered by behavior that I myself had done a long time ago and went in the wrong direction thinking that I was in denial about my own situation. In reality, after I got myself to calm down, it was a misunderstanding, and confusion about terms and trying to understand my situation and trying to figure out how I can be honest about my situation without either glossing over real aspects of the Apserger's issues I'm trying to deal with or feeling pressured to identify as being more impaired or questioning the things I do despite limitations (applies to my physical disability as well) because of the black and white thinking about certain things.

So, no intellectual disability. And my apologies for any disruption on my part.