Aspergers and shame issues with the past

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As of late I have been going through a lot of issues with over coming things from the past. I am not officially diagnosed but there's no question I have Asperger's. Prior to this and not realizing some of my odd behaviors, I cringe at things I said and did. Luckly I never see any people I used to go to school with anymore.

In the last few years I have become very self aware and a bit paranoid in certain situations. I keep telling myself " don't say anything stupid" " don't act weird" . I've been at my same job for about 12 years and have kind of withdrawn socially. We have had a little bit of turnover in people and I just don't want attention drawn to myself like it was before. A few people who have been there as long as me I know still talk about stupid stuff I did, they don't drop things.

Does anyone else here have issues like this?

I think most people have issues over feeling shame or embarrassment about past actions, regardless of whether they're autistic.

That being said being on the spectrum could mean you've had specific issues related to being autistic that have caused you guilt, shame, or embarrassment.

It sounds like you are confident in who you are so the next step is practicing acceptance for things that have happened that were probably beyond your control.

Do the people bringing it up realise it upsets you? Sometimes people tease each other but aren't being malicious, but other times they are making fun at the other person's expense. The latter is unkind and would mean these people aren't worth your time and consideration imho.

If it helps, I'm sure most people on here have committed their fair share of social faux pas. I quite upset people over some butter once f you can believe it

I think a lot of people have experienced being shamed prior to self discovery or formal diagnosis for not doing things that fit in with neurotypical ways and conceptions of how people should be - what has been termed the "tyranny of normal". I certainly know that many people here have been shamed by derogatory comments - such as "you're weird" or "you're strange" because this was the NT default response to non-conformist behaviors they didn't understand - or weren't motivated to try to understand. You have to remember that although we talk (often) about neurodiversity and acceptance issues here, the vast majority of the dominant NT group probably don't even know what neurodiversity means, and I would hazard a guess that relatively few care.

Neurodiverse people are hurt by insensitive comments everyday; the unfortunate thing is that it is hard to see these past experiences in their full perspective - that the shaming comments arouse from the dual ignorance of the observers and observed.

Now you are armed with self-knowledge, and can go back and reframe your experience as a mutual lack in understanding. Your understanding has changed. Unless your previous mistakes were wilful episodes to upset people (which I am sure they weren't) then pick up the shame and mentally throw it back where it belongs - onto the shamers. Hopefully when they know better, they will do better. You do know better, and you will do better.

Being unfairly shamed has two potential benefits - it increases our sensitivity to the suffering and shaming of others, helping us develop more compassion for others and other groups who are unfairly treated; and it attunes us to the need to support increasing awareness of the realities of living a neurodiverse life in societies which lazily label anything atypical people do differently with automatic pejorative comments.

For myself, I use Facebook to challenge the myths, illustrating autistic achievement, challenging NTs to see the ability in what they consider to be autistic disability. In one way or another, we can all do something to increase awareness, which seems to me a better use of our energy than directing our attention back to the way other people's ignorance was expressed in unkind and ignorant ways.

Yes, there are a lot of things I did that I still worry about now, if I think about it (which I try not to). Like the time when I was about 16, when I beat up a boy from my school who I didn't know. I was under a lot of stress at the time, and this random boy kept trying to touch my bum as he was walking behind me. I just got so annoyed, that I turned around and attacked him. He was really shocked by my reaction. Luckily I was nearly leaving school, so I didn't really see him again. But to this day I feel so guilty for doing that, because it's not like me at all to beat people up. What if he hasn't forgotten, and still thinks about it and is uneasy of girls because of it? I might have gave him a PTSD.

There are so many things I feel bad about as I look back over my life from a retired perspective. I could write a book with chapters for elementary school, high school, university, military, and so on. What a depressing book that would be! Fortunately, at this point, as long as I avoid high school class reunions and none of them are any concern now.

There are a few episodes I am embarrassed about (more than just in passing, I mean; there have been plenty of things that embarrassed me there and then, but that I fairly quickly realized were far less important than they felt at first), and a couple of things I'm actually ashamed of having done/said, and in one case not done.
None of these things are things that bother me often, but a few of them are big enough for me that I'm glad i'm not in touch with or likely to meet any non-rels who knew me then and might remember them. With a couple of exceptions I'm relaxed about my past in that way.

In an effort to win over my peers, I used racism and self-deprecation as a source of humour at secondary school. In many respects I am fortunate that I have lost contact with all of my past friends.

Same here OP. I'm still in school though and I do see the people I've wronged/associates of those people who know what I did. I can feel the criticism when I'm around them and it burns my face, but I try my best to pretend they don't exist lol. Not exactly a healthy method - dissociating, which further draws attention to myself - but what can you do