Can you relate - type of panic attack maybe?

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Hi everyone!

I am 40 years old and have been investigating Aspergers and the likelihood that I may have it for the last year or so. I do score highly on online tests and seem to display many of the traits, but I'm not yet feeling sure enough or ready to face my gp to ask for the chance to have a formal diagnosis yet. I feel like I need to understand it more. I am reading my way through all the books I can find that seem relevant at the moment.

I wanted to ask if anyone can relate to a specific experience that I have in certain circumstances to see if it may be relevant to Aspergers or not.

This happens to me regularly, though not always, in the following situations: cinemas/concert halls/theatres, school performances (performing or watching), buses, cars, aeroplanes, busy shopping centres.

I find these places overwhelming. The number of people in a small space, the feeling of not being able to move freely, the unusual light/dark. Sometimes I think this is too much for my system to deal with and I start to feel really weird. There is a sense of unreality, I feel that my body has semi closed down and I am trapped inside, I am very frightened and cannot do or say anything much. As a child when this happened I would grip my mums hand (painfully apparently!) but otherwise I felt unable to do anything until the feeling eventually passed. (On one occasion I was standing when this happened and fainted). I have experienced this right from very young my first memory of it was at age 4, and it still happens today. I have long standing issues with anxiety so perhaps these are panic attacks? I never feel entirely sure when I read the list of panic attack symptoms, they sound more like a speeding up: fast heart beat and breathing, sweating etc, mine feel more like a slowing down... perhaps there are just different kinds of panic attack. I just wondered if anyone here could relate to this kind of experience.

I struggle with really loud, noisy environments but not to the degree on a panic attack. Sometimes though I do feel like people are watching us and that can make us feel uncomfortable. I don't know if it may help to have friends with you when you go to these places? It might make you feel safer and therefore less prone to panic. I tend not to struggle in shopping centres but can feel awkward when dealing with (some) sales staff.

The slowing down, detachment from reality can also be depersonalization or disassociation, which is common with anxiety.

It sounds like a reaction to sensory overload. Panic attacks/meltdowns/shutdowns are pretty typical reactions for someone with autism.

It sounds like depersonalization to me

Just find a name for whichever social situation, in Latin, and tack "phobia," on the end. I am not being facetious. It's a nameable kind of panic attack.

People practice avoidance, expose themselves on purpose, or try to relax.

What jumps out to me is that you stated the sensitivity has been affecting you for the last "year or so."

HFA isn't something that starts in adulthood. It's pervasive throughout one's life, from birth to death. It's a developmental disorder. It can certainly cause anxiety, but it comes from specific neurological deficits, while episodic or context-dependent anxiety often stems from maladaptive thought distortions. Also, childhood trauma can often shape the brain to be constantly wired for "danger," even in situations where no imminent danger is present.

What you're experiencing sounds like an anxiety disorder. Perhaps Generalized Anxiety Disorder with agoraphobia, social phobia, or something along those diagnostic lines.

Crowds make me feel like I'm in danger. I go in to overdrive looking for threats. It's sensory overload, which is like being "dizzy" plus "nauseous." But it's also brain over-clock, which burns me out.

If crowds is your only thing, I think you need a second opinion.

Thank you all for the replies, it's helpful for me to compare opinions and experiences. I don't know much about dissociation/depersonalisation, so I'll read up on those.

Bluejay - I think you may have misread my post, the 'year or so' refers to how long I've been researching autism/Aspergers, my first experience of the type I'm trying to understand was around age 3/4 when my mother took me to see Bambi at the cinema.

I do recognise I need to be formally assessed to know for certain whether I have HFA/Aspergers, but I'm quite scared of the whole process and want to have gathered as much information as possible before I approach my gp.

Archvillian - I would say the crowds thing is only really a small part of why I am considering it, the overwhelming difficultly I have is in social experiences. I just don't really get what it's all about. I've learnt how to behave in set situations like going into a shop, doctors, dentist etc, once I've been in a workplace for a while I can usually do what's necessary, but chatting? What's that even for? To me talking is about information exchange, and I don't understand how to do it in a way that produces social inclusion. Even then, I find being with people overwhelming and draining, which makes lots of aspects of life. In childhood there are also quite a lot of instances of my behaviour, reactions from others and my abilities/difficulties that would appear to fit with those described in books, etc.