We got a diagnosis!

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So I posted last week how our 6 year old son's problems were escalating. We weren't supposed to get in to a doctor for awhile, but it just so happened that this week they had a sudden opening for the psychiatrist (that my son's pediatrician wanted him to see) and an opening for a formal autism test. The autism test was an 1 1/2 with the doctor and then 5 hours of online/paper testing which came out as a positive for a diagnosis. She said he would be considered as a high function autism (although she said they dont use that terminology anymore). She is going to send me the specifics of his results late next week.

Then we went to the psychiatrist today. His pediatrician thought he was going to be diagnosed with bi-polarism, but instead the psychiatrist (without knowing that he did an autism test) said that he thought he had autism and should do a comprehensive testing. The psychiatrist we really loved! He said that our son may have anxiety or ADHD, but we should first start worrying about the autism before we delve into the other possibly issues.

Anyways, it is such a relieve as a parent to know to what we are dealing with! I'm going to have to start researching what to do and learn more about the diagnosis. I know therapy is the given to start to do. What are your opinions on telling a child? At what age? I'm worried that if I tell him eventially when he is older (and hopefully more understanding), that he will use the diagnosis as an excuse for not doing as well in school, or that he will feel he doesnt have the ability to do well like others. And what about telling adults that see him often? My son does a lot of socially awkward things, and he is having meltdowns over the simplest things. I feel like I want to tell them so they don't think poorly of him and (honestly) poorly of my parenting skills, but then I also dont want him labeled. I have no idea how to go about any of this. This is all so new.

It's great that you got a diagnosis for your son. I wish for all of you to have a bright future filled with promise.

That is wonderful-congratulations! As far as telling him, I think it depends on the child. Has he asked any questions about being "different"? If so, he might be ready to have more of an explanation right away. My wife and I chose to tell our son sort of progressively, since he showed no interest in talking about himself. So, initially, we just told him, "You and Papa have brains that learn differently than a lot of other people's." This was enough to explain why he was going to occupational therapy. We would often ask him, "Have you ever heard us or other people using words like 'spectrum' or 'autism' and wondered what they meant?" He always told us that he hadn't. But eventually he started noticing my behavior and worrying about me, and it came time to talk about the "name" that is given to people who have brains like he and I have. Our quest has always been to give him all the advantages that I never had growing up. He is nine now and is leaps and bounds ahead of where I was at his age. Great asset you've found in that new psychiatrist, by the way.

It doesn't really sound like a diagnoses if they still don't know what he has if they were thinking he may have ADHD or anxiety and someone suspecting Bipolar. Did they exactly say what he has after all the testing than saying he may have this or that?

As for your question for telling, my mom told me nothing till 6th grade even when I asked before. I don't know why. My mom claims she didn't know what was wrong with me but I had diagnoses before 6th grade and she got defensive when I asked her how could she not now what was wrong with me if I had an ADD diagnoses or dyspraxia or language processing disorder or cluttering, how is that not knowing what was wrong with me. But when my mom first started telling me in 6th grade which was Asperger's, she told me my brain worked different so I had a different learning style and I see things differently and I processed information differently. That was all she told me then and sometimes she would tell me little bit what was part of it like if I took something literal or got upset by a surprise because I got interrupted in my activity or me being bored because I couldn't do what I wanted to do.