need some help

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I'm trying to find closure with someone with someone I had alot of tension with in the past. I'm alot healthier than I was before, but she might not know that. And in order for us to really find closure, I need to explain to her some of the crazy selfish things I used to believe and make it absolutely clear that I dont believe these things anymore, which is tricky because alot of the tension between us was caused by me saying crazy things to her and it always makes her nervous

You could try the last-century approach, write a letter, you're not there to make her nervous while you explain, and have time to properly think through what you'll say that way.

If this person is no longer in your life and you make contact with the idea of wanting to explain things that might be a time where you will need to ask her if that is all right. I get that you are trying to make a better sense of peace in your own life, if she is willing and understanding of that enough to listen then that is great and could be very helpful. In the event that she isn't, I would suggest spending some time as to think how that would effect you. If she has moved on, that is something to respect. It may not be ideal and it may not give you the opportunity to explain things as you might like to, but it is worthy of respect. I offer this, only because I have been in a similar situation and someone told me something very similar to this and I found the advice to be very helpful in my thought process. Hope you find the answers you're looking for. Shark