Aspergers a Secret?

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Anyone keep their Aspergers a secret i.e. not even friends and famiy know? If it's mild enough I think a lot of us can get away with that and maybe for the best in some circumstances.

It's no secret that I'm "weird." People just can't put a "label" like "Aspergers" on me.

Anyway, I'm not a true Aspergian----because I had a speech delay. Though I present very Aspergian.

I don't tell people because I often get the "oh you don't seem autistic" from people who don't know me well, but every friend I've had who actually has experience with autism has been able to see it without me telling them.

So I don't offer the information to people, only the ones who discover it themselves, I guess.

Diagnosed last year, only my wife and my boss know.

Can't see any positive in telling family & friends

Because I've got a good grasp on social skills by now, I only tell people when they've known me for at least three months. Works a treat, they are usually impressed with me now and it doesn't present a problem.

My sister and boyfriend were the first ones to know. I also told it to my one and only friend, who knows all about me. Only that friend was not skeptical about it.
My parents still don't know though I really wish they did. I know that they're not knowledgeable about autism and I think they would take it personally so I can't make myself tell them.

I wouldn't see any point in divulging it, unless an explanation is needed or someone's better off with one than without.

With neurodiversity only now being considered more socially acceptable, it's hard to tell our parents when they come from an age where any difference is somewhat frowned upon. Even now mention Autism to some people and they imagine Rain Man, of course we all know Autism comes a lot milder than that.

I haven't told anyone, partly I can fly under the radar anyway. I'm seen as one of the quiet ones at times but that's one of the only hints. Although having said that maybe I was diagnosed as a kid and my parents did not tell me, I was in SEN and I used to worry about everything (OCD) and one day there was a programme about Autism on TV and I said to my Mum; "I'm not like that, am I" and she said yeah slightly.

She of course denies it but if it's true and I was diagnosed as a kid, I wish I was told. I'd imagine some of you guys are in a similar position?

I don't have an official diagnosis to give people anyway, so I don't. After being a kid and seeing how easy it was for my mom to "get me diagnosed" with whatever disorder was all the rage in her parenting books this year, the whole process lost it's appeal to me. In the rare occasion that the topic actually comes up, I think I sometimes make those around me uncomfortable. Everyone pronounces whether I am or am not in their opinion. I think I'm pretty definitively on the line, and that's okay with me. I'm here on WP for the topics about how to deal with sound sensitivity and mild face blindness. Those are the two things I struggle with and the rest is actually pretty smooth sailing.

Sometimes I wonder what my friends think of me when I don't recognize them though. I wish I could tell them that it doesn't mean I don't like them.

I wear a sweatshirt that says 'I'm autistic' - doubt anyone cares. People close to me know as I have shared my realizations and coping methods, they usually have recognized some social interaction challenges.

I celebrate my autism, so I imagine that the people in my area know I have it. That doesn't bother me. All that matters is that I'm happy and I enjoy life.

My parents and a few others know, it isn't something I talk about because I do not see it helping me with most people.

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"I don't tell people because I often get the "oh you don't seem autistic" from people who don't know me well, but every friend I've had who actually has experience with autism has been able to see it without me telling them.

So I don't offer the information to people, only the ones who discover it themselves, I guess."

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some former supervisors know. immediate family members (and the bozos they gossipped to) know. counselors know. told some precious lil "friends". (fine). although right now, as usual, i ain't got no "friends". but whatever.

likewise, same as above comment. more than once, someone had the nerve to tell me "you don't seem autistic" or "YOU ARE NOT AUTISTIC."

in other words, if the autism disclosure results in denial, then in what way is that a "secret"?

they did not believe it when i told them. and i told them. but what about everyone i did not (yet) tell? what if i told them and got the same response? just b/c i did not tell them does not follow it is a "secret".

likewise, do they have a nerve to disclose to all precious lil "friends" and "family" members that they are bipolar, schizophrenia? disclose all mental illness diagnoses? how about physical illnesses?

if someone has erectile dysfunction or HIV why should they have to tell me? they should not have to tell me, unless i have a functional reason to know.

likewise with autism.

the other thing though. is that.

precious lil "people". esp extroverted neurotypicals. are not going to drop everything and read a book about autism, just b/c i disclosed. only one precious lil "person", (my "mom", and she dropped dead 2 years ago), read a book about autism when i disclosed.

so all they do is match their impressions of me to their prejudices and misconceptions of autism.

and of course i can't explain autism. but why should i have to? if i did they would not believe me or care. and even if they believed me and cared, then what? what authority do they have?