For a long time, when I was a kid, I used to be really shy because I noted how my voice compared to other girls and sometimes heard extended family members talk about how I sound like a boy. I've encountered other deep-voiced girls later in life, so I'm not as uncomfortable with my voice anymore ... I just genuinely don't have anything of quality to say in most situations.
In turn, I feel like my voice is still at an awkward "undeveloped" stage (although I'm 21); raspy and cracks quite a bit. I don't know if it's because I don't talk much (though I'd imagine one would have a "pure" voice in that case, if that makes sense lol) but I also have no range too. I know the range issue is very likely autism-related ... I'm generally monotone, if not, sometimes able to speak with a very slightly raised pitch (? if that's the correct term), to try to not sound so stiff. I definitely have issues with making expressions.
I also cannot sing. I always sing in the car when I'm by myself, but it's bad because I barely have any range. Usually my go-to when I sing is that slightly raised pitch, but it's just not good. It's almost hilarious actually, but it makes me incredibly insecure lol. I'd be a boring/awkward person to carpool with if anyone wanted to jam to music.
And in regards to autism and social awareness, I'm actually pretty genuinely aware of most, if not all, situations. I just don't give the proper reactions (usually express no reaction at all, pretend like I didn't hear them - even though I'm aware now that that's apparently a clear giveaway of being on the spectrum) and ultimately come off as unsettling or dumb or something because I'm so self conscious of my voice. I feel my voice (the deep monotone) would further invite some type of mockery towards me. If anything I might raise my eyebrows and nod as an acknowledgement, to sort of shrug off my awareness of how awkward I'm being by not being so expressive like other people are.
Anyway, I don't like my voice. I'm just thinking of how unfortunate it is that I can't appropriately express my emotions to others.