Too old to start over.

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Hello everyone, it has been a few years since my last post, I thought that I had my Asperger's in control and that my life might improve as a result of knowing that I am an Aspie.
But about 10 weeks ago I started to go down hill, as I am at the age of 57 I think I came to the realisation that I am too old to create a life for myself. Getting back into the work force is a big issue for me as I mostly get treated like crap because I am so different. I have heaps of trouble holding down a job, it is like a 'black dog' is controlling my mind and as a result I become full of fear after a few weeks at work and usually quit.
I am very knowledgeable when it comes to working with computer and I enjoy just staying at home and my only contact is with my friend which is rewarding for me. I have thought about getting into an online sales business but most or all them I have checked out are just spammers. So frustrating.
Most of my day is spent thinking about wanting to die, just go to sleep and never wake up.
Hope this post makes some sense and just wondering if any people around my age have experienced what I am going through.

Whilst I am 'only' 26, I also feel like it's too late for me to survive in the world.

Since transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, I have only worked for approximately two years - a year of which was spent volunteering. Thus, I cannot shake the feeling that I am a complete waste of space.

To make matters worse it's almost impossible for me to learn new things. I am poor at reading, writing, visualising, and my lack of auditory recall must be similar to someone who is mentally challenged. I never remember anything that anyone tells me, so I believe I am an utterly useless human being.

I am the only one in my family who is intellectually challenged. In fact, many of my closest relatives have degrees and are well respected in their communities. If there is a God, I sure as shanola must have pissed him off.

Even after discussing my problems with numerous therapists & sampling an array of medications, there's still a large part of me that relishes death. I offer nothing to anyone.

I hope that you find success in your efforts to run an online business, Bob.

Hello Jake,
I too think that I have pissed God off, hehe.
You have remembered to post a reply to me and for that I am truly grateful,thank you.
I wish Jake that I had a solution to your issues my beloved man, and I wish I had a solution to my issues.
To be 26 again and know that I am Aspie could have made a difference. Jake you are young, hang in and keep on keeping on.

Bob

I also think you are running into ageism as discrimination against older workers is rampant. The feeling is that older people are inflexible, not fluent with current technologies, and resentful of working for younger bosses.

That said the cliche taking it day by day probably applies to your situation. You are not typical so you may have to redefine success in your terms that are not the typical job, house, wife, kids, grandkids etc. That is quite difficult no doubt.

I'm a bit younger than you, but I can relate to many of the feelings you express. Being diagnosed as I entered middle age has filled me with the sober realization that things could have been so different for me. Even apart from getting help like a lot of younger people enjoy today, just knowing what made me different from my peers would have spared me a lot of heartache and possibly helped me chart a better course for my life.

I've managed to do OK with respect to work, although every opportunity I've been given has been serendipity (or grace) in action, despite my many bad choices and emotional difficulties. I honestly don't know how else to explain being able to hold down a job. I've never been fired, but I've often worried that people could see inside my head and realize I'm an angry fraud who's managed to somehow hang on like a leech in the business world. I have many, many regrets about not having the resources to map out any sort of cogent plan for my life, and being denied by nature the basic social skills that others take for granted.

To be honest, lately things have been exceptionally difficult for me (more than I want to go into in a public forum), and I recognize that much of the difficulty is attributable to Autism. Telling coworkers and management gets you everything from blank stares to sympathetic promises to try to be accommodating. Despite their good intentions, most NTs really don't get it. Because I don't look or sound like I have a disability, they quickly forget what I've told them and resume having normal expectations about how I will react to any given challenge. Change is particularly difficult, and there's been a lot of it dumped on me all at once lately.

Anyway, not sure if that helps at all. But I can say you're not alone out there.

I am 50 and totally relate. For the past 5 years each year has proven more difficult to recover. This "Autism Burnout" is very real. Not having any social or professional support makes it even harder to rebound.

I am 59 and struggle with many of the same issues. Life gets more difficult as we age. I started to walk away from the world after the death of my parents. There have been bursts of activity followed by reversals. I found that reading novels to be quite helpful. Getting into another persons mind helps me understand that all people face similar problems. Some people are better than others at understanding and dealing with their set backs.

Try to keep yourself busy and I wish you good luck with getting through this tough period in your life.

First off, please don't lay down and die. You still have a life ahead of you. I know 57 might seem old to you, but you're not that old. I'm 36 and that already sounds old to me. I don't even feel or look that old, either. I'm wanting to go back to school, but am in some student loan debt; about $10,000. I have no idea when I'll be able to pay that off; probably not 'til I'm 50! So now I'm wondering if I should even bother going back to school while being in debt, and once that debt is paid off, if it's going to be too late for me to try to get a Bachelor's Degree. I already have an Associate of Applied Science Degree, but I'd like to also have a Bachelor's. I was taking online classes at DeVry University, but dropped out. So now I feel stuck. I don't know. Maybe I'll just take some cheap classes somewhere or something. I would like to major in psychology, but now I'm not sure that's going to happen.

I have a current id number, which allows me to buy at wholesale and collect sales taxes, when that is required, by law. I can't offer a salary or benefits or even job security, but I can pay commissions, on part time work, without any headtrips.

You can see the numbers I am working with, and, if you want the responsibility, I can tell you how to run your own business, in my country.

Noone has ever asked my age.

fwiw, many of my family were centenarians. Some say your 50's are only middle age.

I can't give your life added meaning, or change the way you feel, just don't see what keeps you from entering numbers, into a computer.

I started over at 57 when I saw I'd never get better where I was. A decade later, I'm thinking of doing it again, in less of a rush. We don't like change, but things that cause refugees don't respect that.

I was in my forties when I began realizing I was running out of jobs and would have to pace myself a little better in order to keep working until at least 62, but then my overall burnout -- physical, mental and emotional (but not spiritual) -- finally glued me to the bench a little past fifty-nine. Breathing fairly well and still doing whatever I can for my wife are the best things I have going to day, and being quite different from anyone I know is actually part of what I believe helps to hold me together and keep me focused on enduring to the end no matter what.

Thank you all of you who responded to my post, I have learned a lot from the words written.

I hold to the belief that age discrimination starts at 30. It's the age by which most employers expect to see some accomplishment in a candidate's professional life.

By 40, the phenomenon is noticeable to those with unremarkable work histories. By 50, one could be virtually unemployable...especially in a bad job market.

I learned about Autism when I was 40...effectively at the end of my "career lifetime." It's not hopeless. I do have a job, but while something awesome could happen in the career realm, I don't hold my breath waiting for it to happen. Rather, I focus on making peace with the reality that this may be as good as it's going to get.

I respectfully disagree.

Assuming that the candidate is reasonably-qualified, they will say over-qualified.

How can everyone be under-qualified or over-qualified, with no happy medium. What is the perfect amount of qualification.

Or, tangible work is supposed to be accomplished, under nameable terms. Why do people succeed or fail, based on "intangibles".

They receive conditional subsidies, and will not admit it. There are donations, from special interest groups.

There are ways of uncovering this, which can be exploited, or just give you emotional closure. But, it's not your fault. There is no excuse for someone (who can dress himself, who wants to work, and who knows basic manners) not to be afforded a job, in a first world country.

I'm going to be 47 in August, I feel like my life is over, I really can't do anything right, I can't hold down a job (I worked before, I worked in a workshop & I worked at my mom's preschool then at an art center, I never can go to work every single day, I almost didn't graduate high school) I'm trying to cheer myself up, I feel like I really messed up my life, I was crying earlier, I thought life be better if I was dead.