Requirements for diagnosis

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Hello all. First time poster (multiple-month lurker) here. Thanks for all the information you have all contributed to this site. It has helped me research and understand ASD.


I have a few questions about certain parts of the spectrum that I do not align with, and whether that "disqualifies" me from having ASD. I am 95% sure that I'm on the spectrum, but my Doctor seems to be trying to pin it on something else because I don't fit with some of these. Without further ado:

1: Routines. I don't need routine and generally don't have any. I am a mess without them, but don't really care.
2: Repetitive movement/speech. This doesn't seem to apply to me.
3: Non-verbal communication. I can read people like a book. I can understand their motives easily. I did have a problem remembering faces around Kindergarten age, but that resolved by 3rd grade.
4: Emotions/Connections. I am pretty emotional and really want to connect with people, which seems to be the opposite of what is portrayed in the media. Even in "Parenthood", where a child/teen with Asperger's is shown to be kind of cold and distant. I have never understood "love" as an emotion, but do understand logically that I love someone because I want them happy, unharmed, and around (and I feel incredible pain at the thought of losing them). Basically, I am a people-pleaser/social chameleon that wants everyone to like me and feels hurt that most don't no matter what I try (including not trying so hard).

I line up with a ton of the other stuff, though. I score extremely high on every ASD test I could find. It seems to explain so many of the things I didn't understand about myself: the good and the bad.

After my psychiatrist asks these questions she basically just moves on to something else like it's impossible that I'm on the spectrum if I don't align with these. She is a very kind (often waiving fees or going above and beyond for me) and experienced psychiatrist with experience in ASD, so it's hard for me to believe that I am right and she is wrong even though I strongly believe I am on the spectrum.

I'm not asking for a diagnosis. I just want to know if not having those characteristics means that I cannot be on the spectrum.

Sorry if any of this is disorganized or inarticulate, as I'm running on fumes right now. Thank you for reading and possibly replying!

Edit: I have to add that I understand everyone on the spectrum is different. Unfortunately, that confuses the heck out of me because there must be similarities for it all to be lumped under one diagnosis (ASD). So, I am trying to understand what is and what is not necessary to "qualify" as being on the spectrum.

Hi. Welcome to Wrong Planet!

As you have stated, you don't need to fit all the criteria. Here's the DSM V criteria for autism:

So even if you don't have routines or repetitive movement/speech doesn't mean you don't have it. I don't have repetitive motor movement I'd say like 95% of the time. You could have sensory issues and intense interests and still fit the criteria. It also doesn't just have to be routines. I could be extreme stress with transitions, rigid thinking, sameness. Routine doesn't have to be like "at 8:03, I must brush my teeth". I could be problems with cognitive flexibility (which I personally have problems with).

The only thing that may make you not fit the criteria is no nonverbal communication problems, as that is the second requirement in the first section. But non-verbal communication can be lack of gestures, turning body away from speaker (the psychologist who diagnosed me said I do this). It doesn't necessarily mean reading other people, it can mean your own non-verbal communication. So if you personally have non-verbal communication issues, then I'd say you'd fit for this criteria.

Also, I feel emotions. The media has a cliche to show that people with autism are cold and distant. Though this may be true for some people, it's not true for all people. I can only give my experience so... For me, I find I deeply am affected by emotions, but don't know how to physically react to it or make it seem to other people that i care. When people are crying as an example, I get really stressed because I don't know what they want me to do. Do they want comfort? Do they want me to lie to them saying things will get better or they're okay? Do they want physical affection? It's very hard for me to place what they want based on their emotions. A lot of the time also, I feel their emotions and for the crying example, I want to cry myself just because they are crying.

I'm also a people pleaser and want everyone to like me and be happy and I hate hurting people. So personally, I'd say this does not exclude you from having autism at all.

Also, I'm not a professional in anyway. I just have a lot of insight on these topics (see username) so I can generally help guide people in the right direction. But I can't diagnose you; only a professional can.

Can't you just print out one of the autism test you did (ie AQ) so they can look at it and see what areas you struggle in? For me, I took the criteria, and put information under each criteria about how I fit it. It was like three pages long, which proved to my pdoc even more that I had autism, as my intense interest is mental illness/most things in the DSM-V (I own it).

I'm rambling now. Hope this helps

Ah, thank you so much. That cleared up a lot of my questions. I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote. I think you helped me bump up my "sureness" to 99.98%. I'll take your advice and print one of those out for her.

I really appreciate that your response was so thought-out. Thanks again.

I would wait until you get your diagnosis. Sometimes as part of the assesment clinicions will say things to see how you will react.

You're welcome. I hope you are able to get your assessment and learn more about yourself