Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Can't cry unselfish tears?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

JohnnyLurg
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 331

12 Apr 2017, 9:41 pm

As long as I can remember, I've never or at least very rarely been able to cry for any unselfish reason. This has become especially concerning for me because a few long time friends and acquaintances of mine have recently died and I attended the funeral of one of them. I could see and understand how tragic their passing was for everyone around me and I felt sad myself but I could not cry. But if someone I have a crush on rejects me or there are problems at my work, I cry my eyes out. I worry that when God forbid close family members die, I won't be able to cry for them either.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,835
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

12 Apr 2017, 9:50 pm

JohnnyLurg wrote:
As long as I can remember, I've never or at least very rarely been able to cry for any unselfish reason. This has become especially concerning for me because a few long time friends and acquaintances of mine have recently died and I attended the funeral of one of them. I could see and understand how tragic their passing was for everyone around me and I felt sad myself but I could not cry. But if someone I have a crush on rejects me or there are problems at my work, I cry my eyes out. I worry that when God forbid close family members die, I won't be able to cry for them either.


Uhh I don't even go to funerals because I wouldn't know what to do with myself at one...plus I think cultures who burned the dead make more sense than burying the dead. Like if it was up to me I'd want a viking ceremony when I die send me on a little burning boat in the river...but second best is cremation I suppose. I don't want my body stuck in some grave yard that will probably have to be dug up someday for parking lots or apartments anyways. I didn't exist when I came here so may as well not leave a rotting body behind when I die.


_________________
We won't go back.


seaweed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2015
Age: 29
Posts: 1,380
Location: underwater

13 Apr 2017, 3:55 am

i don't cry when people die either.

but i don't think crying is the only legitimate way to be sad.



PhoenixRain
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2017
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Peoria, AZ

19 Apr 2017, 2:21 pm

I can't cry unselfish tears either. I feel like a heartless person sometimes, like when other people cry at movies and I'm sitting there praying they don't see me not crying. And sometimes when something really dramatic happens in a movie or show, I have to stifle giggles, and I have no idea why. I feel terrible about it.


_________________
AQ: 32
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 132 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 81 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


FandomConnection
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jun 2016
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 608

20 Apr 2017, 2:52 am

PhoenixRain wrote:
I can't cry unselfish tears either. I feel like a heartless person sometimes, like when other people cry at movies and I'm sitting there praying they don't see me not crying. And sometimes when something really dramatic happens in a movie or show, I have to stifle giggles, and I have no idea why. I feel terrible about it.


Me too! Really sad or emotional scenes just make me want to laugh. People's reactions also make me laugh.

I also don't really cry because other people I love are sad - my family says I'm heartless, but I just don't feel the inclination to cry.


_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


NAS
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 9 Apr 2017
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 12
Location: UK

21 Apr 2017, 11:25 am

I cry at anything! I will cry at films, books, when I see others being kind, when I'm just overwhelmed... But I don't think there is anything wrong with not crying a lot.

Crying isn't the only way to show sadness, and you aren't selfish or wrong for not crying at deaths, etc. I realise that it must be upsetting that you can't cry sometimes, though. I wouldn't worry about people who think you're a bad person for not crying. That shows that they aren't very empathetic - something that we get accused of! :)