So sorry to keep bugging you all but I feel really scared

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Hi. As you've probably seen by now,I've been posting on here for about a week. My psychiatrist said I have some consistent symptoms with ASD,and ever since I've been googling the hell out of everything to do with ASD. My assessment is in 9 days.

I'm scared because it's sounding more and more like a fit. Now I'm reading there's a correlation between hygiene issues and ASD (sensory issues). I once went three month without showering (yes,I know. Awful). The feel of hot water and wrinkly skin bugged me out a little.

All that's missing is social cues and sarcasm,which I understand well.

Why scared?Accept and embrace that your different.

And don't feed your fears.

Here's a quiz,if you haven't already done it?

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

'Do you prefer to be at a library than a party'? Well,I'd *rather* be at a party than at a library,yes. I really want to have fun and be normal and have a great time with other people. But I just don't fit in. Just like I'd *rather* be married with children.

So I answered yes to that.

Try, if you can, to replace the anxiety and stress that you must be feeling after the discovery of your possible autism, with the excitement and curiosity of finally learning about this thing that has likely been affecting you for your entire life. After all, if you have lived with it (relatively) fine for all these years, than why could you not for many more?

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 96 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 119 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits

What does this mean?

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 113 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits

Mmm. Anyone?

Maybe look at it this way... an autism diagnosis can give you answers and paths forward for something(s) that likely made your life very difficult in ways that you couldn't explain or cope with very well. You don't have to tell ANYONE about it if you don't want-- that is your decision alone. I know it's scary because it's like this whole world opens up that you didn't realize existed or weren't familiar with, but you don't have to be scared about not having control or feel obligated to disclose.

The diagnosis of Autism Spectrum disorder, if it happens, will give you an answer and explanation you do not want. But it will give you the answer and eventually as you research more, explanations as to why you do what you do. That is better or less bad than living life under false pretenses. This will help you to mitigate what you do not like, and hopefully, use the "symptoms" to accomplish things you do want.

What's partially autistic? Borderline?