Ways To Help My Little Friend?

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Hi everyone. New here... Saw your forum and thought it seemed nice so I thought I'd post this here.

I don't have autism or Asperger's, but I sometimes work in my church's pre-school department where we have a 5 year old Korean boy who is autistic. He's much better than he was when he first came in our room(running in big circles, putting his fingers in his mouth at snack time and flicking his juice everywhere). He doesn't do that anymore and now he's saying more words and making great strides with potty training.

He has a great laugh(one Sunday he was running around and I went to chase him and I got to him and tickled him and he laughed alot, which made me smile, and he actually said the word "more" when I asked him if he wanted more/to be tickled again), he's really friendly(one Sunday we watched a VeggieTales movie and I let him sit in my lap and he stayed there a long while, and then the next Sunday when we were eating snack he actually came and sat in my lap, without prompting(is that unusual for autistic kids?), and then he started messing with my hair(why would he do that?), and he was looking at the wall/window and laughed at something(what could he have seen?))

Please forgive me, I'm rambling, lol. Anyway...

His parents have said that we can tell him "no", but when we do, he cries some and wants to grab and hold on to you. So should I like hug him back when he does that, or try and get him off? Last Sunday the other kids were making a big house with those big colorful bricks made out of cardboard on the floor, and then he was walking around and through the "house", trying to dismantle the blocks before their teacher said it was time(she'd said something like "ok, you can destroy it in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!", and he was trying to take it apart at "5"...). When we told him "stop" it was like he didn't hear us. How could we get him to stop with something like that?

How can we teach him bible stories better? He walks around alot and often doesn't like to sit for long periods like the other children are able... And do you think he should move up to the children's department when our other 5 year olds do?

I guess...I just don't want to feel alone in my wanting to help this great little boy...

Anyway, thanks for reading; I know that was alot...


P.S.: Anybody know what the percentages are like for kids of races other than white that have autism? I am curious.

Have you asked his parents for tips? They're the ones who knows how he ticks. Other than it's trial and error. Some kids with autism hate to be held, others are comforted by it. It's okay to lay down ground rules. He needs structure. If he's doing something disruptive, try distracting him with something to play with to hold his interest (look up autism toys). Kids with autism are into tactile things, that's why he plays with your hair.

I'll try to answer your questions.
The challenging part, of course, is that I don't know this little boy personally,
so I can only offer my best guess.

1) The next Sunday when we were eating snack he actually came and sat in my lap, without prompting(is that unusual for autistic kids?)

Answer: Depends on the kid. Notice I did not say, "autistic kid." Do all so-called "normal" kids come sit in your lap without prompting?

2) and then he started messing with my hair(why would he do that?)

Answer: I'm guessing there was something he liked about your hair. But you'd have to ask him.

3) and he was looking at the wall/window and laughed at something(what could he have seen?))

Answer: If he was like me at that age, the sun might have been coming in the window just right and casting shadows on the wall, such that the shadows formed shapes, so that you could see images of tigers or something. It might have been a very subtle phenomenon of a play of light moving over the wall to provide this effect. Or maybe he saw something out the window, like a bird flying by. Who knows? You'd have to ask him.

4) His parents have said that we can tell him "no", but when we do, he cries some and wants to grab and hold on to you. So should I like hug him back when he does that, or try and get him off?

Answer: This is a hard one for me, because personally, I'm not usually the hugging type. I think that if you give him a reason why you're telling him no, and redirect him in a gentle but firm way towards what he's supposed to be doing, it might help.

5) Last Sunday the other kids were making a big house with those big colorful bricks made out of cardboard on the floor, and then he was walking around and through the "house", trying to dismantle the blocks before their teacher said it was time(she'd said something like "ok, you can destroy it in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!", and he was trying to take it apart at "5"...). When we told him "stop" it was like he didn't hear us. How could we get him to stop with something like that?

Answer: Make sure to explain the rules about when it's okay to dismantle the blocks way in advance of when it's okay to dismantle them, so he knows what's expected. If you wait to explain the rules until the teacher is already saying "Okay, you can destroy it in 5" ... then the kid has just heard, "Okay, you can destroy it" and is going to go ahead and do that, thinking that permission has been given, and maybe not understanding that he has to wait all the way until after "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" is said. Or maybe, the kid is just mischievous like I was, in which case, you discipline him in a gentle but firm manner.

6) How can we teach him bible stories better? He walks around alot and often doesn't like to sit for long periods like the other children are able...

Answer: This is a hard one for me, because I had already started reading the children's Bible myself at his age. Does he have a children's Bible? He might have fun learning to read with it at home. As for the walking, maybe tell him it's okay to walk, as long as he listens and can answer the questions you ask him? Otherwise, he needs to sit down and pay attention?

7) And do you think he should move up to the children's department when our other 5 year olds do?

Answer: Am not sure what "the children's department" is, but sure, why shouldn't he move up? When I was his age, I had not been diagnosed with autism, so I moved up when the other kids did. In first grade, when I was 6 years old, my parents considered letting me skip ahead a grade because I was gifted with a higher intelligence than normal, but they let me decide, and I decided to stay with kids my own age.

Happy Easter to You!

~~ the phoenix

Hi the_phoenix. About my first question, I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else here. I didn't mean to.

Thanks for all your info. I really appreciate it. I'll share it with the lady that teaches the pre-schoolers.

And thank you for the Easter wishes. Happy Easter to you, too. (and everyone else here, as well.)