How do you get over a fear of contact?

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Ever since I was young, the act of physically touching someone always bothered me for reasons I do not really know. My mother noticed it even as a young toddler where I would get somewhat nervous if she picked me up or hugged me which still hasn't changed as the years have gone by. Since then I have made a few friends who have stuck by me over the years and although I greatly appreciate their company, I have often been bothered by their random acts of physical contact to not only myself, but other members of the friend group. Taking a closer examination, I realized that it wasn't just my group of friends (who are all 'oddballs' in their own right) but other groups too have the strange agreement amongst each other that they are allowed to do things like pat each other on the shoulders or something along those lines. Although I greatly want to connect to other people, my strange fear of physical contact has been a hinderance to that goal and I haven't been able to find any ways of coping with it. So my question is this:

How do any of you deal with physical contact so that it doesn't bother you?

Any help on this would be greatly appreciated

I deal with this all the time at work, not just with people I know, but with casual acquaintances and total strangers. I've managed to get my reaction down to a barely noticeable flinch, but on bad days I tense up and look more obviously uncomfortable. Last week a customer put her hand on my waist (I don't understand the purpose of this gesture), and I properly recoiled. I looked weird, but oh well.

Oddly when I'm with people I'm closer to, my reaction is less subtle, I guess because I'm comfortable enough around them to look uncomfortable .

If you trust the people you're with, you can just flat out tell them you don't like that kind of contact. They won't necessarily respect or remember this (it makes no difference to my mum, for example), but at least if you freak out, you're covered.



Otherwise, you can try focusing on your breathing, looking at something in detail, counting in your head etc., whatever it takes to calm down or distract yourself.

Thanks for the reply! I didn't expect someone to reply so soon (or at all for that matter) so thank you. I get exactly what you're saying; I have mentioned to my group of friends (they know I have Asperger's) that I am very uncomfortable with contact and they seem to remember it most of the time. To be honest, I don't understand the purpose of all the gestures most NT make when it comes to connecting with someone, but I guess that's just how they are. I guess I could make an attempt to do the breathing exercises since I've heard a lot about that on meditation websites and things of the sort. Anyway, thank you for giving me this advice.

I would not allow anyone other than my parents hug me from the age of 2 to the age of 15. Recently both my reaction to people touching me and my level of uncomfortable-ness has gotten lower.
I used to jerk or seize and yell when someone touched me when i was younger.