The Loner stereotype

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http://theloner.net/

There is a trend in the media for this label to be thrown around fairly loosely, and nearly always in demeaning way. Introverts are targeted a lot (unfairly in my view) because they prefer less social time than extroverts. Often introverts socialise quite happily on a one to one basis or with people they know well and like; I would say that they are not loners, but selective socialisers. The loner stereotype is thrown in the media a lot, used as a dogwhistle signal to mean "weirdo", and AS people are not the only targets of its misuse.

I have only encountered one true loner in my neighbourhood, over the years, someone I would consider fits the stereotype.

Not far from me lives an older woman who never answers her door, is rarely seen outside her house, and has no contact with the community at all. I became aware of her after a young mother was stabbed by a stranger while out jogging a couple of years ago. The victim, bleeding badly, managed to stagger to the nearest doorstep and knock on the door screaming for help. There was no response, and she bled to death on the doorstep. The house owner was a true loner, (though not one mention of this occurred in the media reports of the death, presumably out of respect for her privacy and personal oddity). No circumstance could persuade her to overcome her inability to open the door.

It's very often the first thing the media latch onto as a default response in any tragic mass shooting, a premature assumption that they rush out - which happened this week re the Las Vegas tragedy, though it seemed not to fit a man who had a long term partner, close family ties, and trusted neighbours with his house key. Bit different from the true loner up the road from my place.

However. Mainly I am concerned about the way it is used a dogwhistle by the media and on the net re ASD people. There are true loners on the spectrum, for sure. And off it too. But they are rarer I think than media coverage suggests.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well ... introverts

It's a lazy stereotype that fails to address the motivation behind the solitary lifestyle. Those who don't have a need to socialize much and those who are up to no good may both be "loners", but for very different reasons.

That, combined with the fact that people who "keep to themselves" are inherently mysterious to nosy extroverts, and you've got a recipe for a mulish paranoid stereotype.

yes... also the "loner" smear is used to dehumanise, it's a code signal for "has no positive qualities at all". Nearly everyone, in reality, has at least one positive quality. The loner stereotyping doesn't do nuance.

It's a known fact that many psychopathic serial killers and mass murderers use their superficial charm to manipulate people, which is pretty much the opposite of a loner. But I've said that about only a million times and no one listens, so why should they start now?

I would have to agree with the above statement.

B19

Some articles claim that the Las Vegas defendant Stephen Paddock's brother and acquaintances said that Stephen appeared normal and not extreme. Politically or religiously. Based on the news reports about stephen, he does not sound, to me, like a "loner" or autistic



Some articles claim that defendants Adam Lanza, James Holmes and Jeffrey Dahmer had a lot of autism symptoms.

Sometimes I get paranoid that someone will few me for a crime, because they think I committed a crime. Or my autism symptoms lead make them suspicious of me. Or my autism symptoms make it easier for the jury and judge to wrongfully convict me of a felony. For example, maybe the way I show emotions is closer to the way guilty NT defendant show emotions, than the way not guilty NT defendant show emotions.

The train has a public service announcement telling customer to report "unusual behavior"

"Unusual behavior"? Crossdressing is not "unusual" in Berkeley 2017, but in San Diego 2004 (when I started Gender Therapy), it was illegal



Autism symptoms are "unusual behavior"

Anyways I am a loner too

The older I get the more socially withdrawn I get

Likewise for job references I do not have any references, other than instructors and former bosses.

If someone frames me for a crime, I have no character witnesses

Seriously I get paranoid sometimes

It's like the world against me

Precious lil "people" versus me



Outnumbered overpower outsmart

People throw around Autistic as an insult. I use that as my player name in games - I'm the top of the board, I win EVERY TIME, and I'm sure it pisses people off.
Hopefully they will rethink their view of Austism.

Now when NT's come up to me and try to get to know me, the first thing I say "I'm a loner, I keep to myself"
It freaks them the hell out, I love it. They can't handle it - to them loner is associated with 'weird' and shame, it's kind of the worst insult. I can't stand these people.

In the United States ( where I live) being extroverted is seen as good and introverted often gets seen as bad

Cultural bias/prejudice



For example, the word "gregarious" sounds like it has a positive connotation

The word "aloof" sounds like it has a negative connotation



And "loner" and "autistic" carry their own baggage and misconception



It appears to me sometimes like the precious lil "people" that talk the most have the most friends

Does not matter if what they say is correct

Does not matter (much) if they are nice or politically correct or good people

On my LiveJournal, (which almost never gets comments), last week some dude had the nerve to comment that I sound like the next Columbine

Marfan.livejournal.com.

AngryAngryAngry

People throw around Autistic as an insult.



Thus far, nobody has ever used "autistic" as an insult toward me

Sometimes they correctly told me I was "weird", "strange", or a "freak"

And, since diagnosis, age 21, thirteen years ago, I have disclosed to a lot of precious lil "people"

By far the most common response was "you are not autistic" or "you do not look autistic"


Anyways, age 21 to 24, lived in San Diego, California, united States

Age 24 to now live within seven miles of Berkeley CA USA

Maybe in New Zealand things are different

How often does someone tell you that you are "autistic" as an insult, and in what context?

Sometimes someone has the nerve to tell me that I am "smart", "stupid", "a fa***t", "ugly" "clumsy", or whatever

But not a single "autistic".

Thus far

That I know of

I personally have never actually heard anyone use autism as an insult nor had it directed at me. However that must partly be a function of my age and stage - because nobody knew about ASD when I was at school or university, and so it didn't happen. My grandson, however, got the bullying and horrible stuff like name-calling at school, just as you describe. I see it on social media, I hear people hear sadly affected by this kind of verbal and psychological bullying. I doubt things are different in NZ today.

We do seem to have less "media othering" here though - the press don't continuously publish the kind of stuff that paints ASD as weird or dangerous. Mostly the press ignores ASD altogether, and when they do cover ASD it is usually because someone has killed an AS child.

I am going to assume that there was a cultural shift in both countries which began to stigmatise AS people, even though it was far more intense and is growing more so it seems, in the USA Two questions then:

When did the shift to this demeaning "othering" stigmatisation of AS people begin to become commonplace in the culture? What was the main reason for the shift in cultural behaviour?

Personally I think television programs that model name calling of out an out crowd by an in group are part of it, the "hip" copying of those screen models of behaviour. The R word became a new word in the cadre of bullying, and is part of the child bully lexicon now. And not just children.