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zzaspergerzz
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 9 Dec 2015
Age: 1941
Posts: 64

19 Apr 2017, 8:05 pm

In real life, I am very alone except for one remaining relative. No friends, no relationships. Only chance is to meet someone online but that is nixed b/c of what it takes to get to that point: the point that you will connect so well with someone that they will wanna meet you, and you them!

I have very little to say, particularly if I start a connection with someone on a dating, friend-finding site or whatever. Feels overwhelming to think that I will have to do small talk, or communicate appropriately enough, for a looong time, for it to lead to anything. My head is empty.

Even the most ideal situation - suppose we "click" superficially - the apathy and sense of futility is overwhelming. Have no interest in online friends without the chance of someday meeting. I just can't keep up the back and forth interaction that it would take to get there.

Anyone feel similar?



starkid
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Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

21 Apr 2017, 5:22 am

Yes, similar. I don't know if you want advice, but if you do, here it is:

Make socializing about what you want it to be, don't let other people or social norms control it.

For example, if you want to meet people online, say in your profile that you want to meet people specifically for some interest, hobby, event, etc. That way socializing has structure and doesn't revolve around small talk and other generic stuff.

Give sufficient details about yourself to deter incompatible people. You are more likely to make a genuine connection that way.



Benjamin the Donkey
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21 Apr 2017, 6:45 am

Yes. I have e very small number of friends who like and understand me, but they're in different countries. When we rarely meet, it's great. In between, I can't manage to "stay in touch." It's like making small talk--I just can't think of anything worth saying.


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