I can't get anything across to people

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wrongcitizen
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24 Apr 2017, 10:04 pm

I have always had an extreme trouble with trying to tell other people something. They take what I say and derive some meaning out of it I'm not even creative enough to fathom. They cut me off every 5th word, and they usually fit an insult or criticism here and there. They also go on talking rampages and then when they become silent they want me to be silent with them or they get mad at me.

Example sentence of something I would say, that would be blown out of proportion:
I like to visit the movies.

Now me, being the "idiot" that I am, thought that a sentence like this would be taken for it's exact meaning. I (me), like (Connotative word), to visit, the MOVIES (A Place).

Now here is the meaning that everyone else derives from that (Note, I DO NOT THINK THESE THINGS):
I have many internal problems and I'm incredibly anxious so I want to see the movies with everyone. I'm not inviting anyone because I don't want to spend money on them and I'm a bad person. I should invite people and be more friendly, and be very emotional and open myself to people. I should also listen to popular music and culture and "get with the times" and watch more news while I'm at it...on and on and on. The reason I move funny and I'm rigid (even though I never even thought this until someone started pointing it out all the time) is because I'm secretly a sociopath and I actually like movies because I want to learn how to be a better one based on slasher movies.

Yes, I have literally had people tell me this, based on what I said.

I don't understand NTs sometimes. What the hell is this?



the_phoenix
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24 Apr 2017, 10:12 pm

The only thing I find curious about the sentence "I like to visit the movies" is linguistic, because I always say, "I like to go to the movies." So it makes me wonder what country you're from? Or if you live in a faraway city or state?

Beyond that, I think people are being very judgmental and cruel with you over this simple sentence. Their behavior sounds toxic and/or abusive. I would do my best to get away from them and find better people to hang around with.

I'm sorry you're being treated so rudely.



starkid
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24 Apr 2017, 11:45 pm

wrongcitizen wrote:
Yes, I have literally had people tell me this, based on what I said.

I don't understand NTs sometimes. What the hell is this?


Wow that's horrible. I used to think it was an NT thing as well. Then people here on WP started doing it to me. But I think the reasons may be different.

NTs primary motivation for communication is social. They assume everyone they meet also thinks that way, so they tend to interpret things people say to them in social terms. If no social content is obvious in the statement, they may more or less invent some.

Some people are also very locked in to whatever communication style they grew up with. If they are used to being around people who have hidden meanings in what they say, they will generally be looking for hidden meanings in what others say.

And some people are so cognitively limited or have such poor theory of mind that they don't realize that the connotations they attach to going to the movies (for example) don't exist in everyone else's mind.



wrongcitizen
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26 Apr 2017, 1:11 am

Now that I look back at that example sentence I realize how weirdly I wrote it. I added I like to visit and Movies but it should've been something like post office or something, grammatically.

The weird part is it's EVERYONE (except people with AS of course, because I have a very easy time communicating with SOME of my friends with AS, and I don't know why).



Dear_one
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27 Apr 2017, 2:50 am

"The biggest difference between intelligence and stupidity is that there are limits to intelligence." People are giving voice to their built-up emotional reactions to you, only triggered by the pretext of responding in a conversation.