My Father Aspie or not? What do you think?

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My father has many Aspie traits. He has obsessions, he certainly has meltdowns, he has poor emotional control and poor impulse control, and acts somewhat immature for his age. But he lacks a core Aspie trait in that he is not socially crippled in any way. He has no trouble with social interaction and has no trouble getting dates, girlfriends, etc.

Is there any such thing as an Aspie subtype where the person is not antisocial?

Hello fellow Whovian

I think there can be Aspies who enjoy being around people. I think I know one, I have a friend on the spectrum who is very popular and well-liked. I'm not an expert though.

My dad sounds a lot like yours. He has lots of friends, but my dad does struggle with romantic relationships in that he doesn't typically stay with one person for long. My dad has meltdowns occasionally too and he definitely has a special interest in World War II. He can be a little immature too when it comes to behaving in public and his sense of humor is often childish and inappropriate, so I think I can relate. My dad has never been diagnosed but his former wives (my mom and my sister's mom) both believe he could be on the spectrum. No one has ever mentioned the possibility to him, however, because we have no idea how he might react.

Thank you for your comments. I'm still not sure though.

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Could be anything from ADHD to BPD to bipolar...

I'm 43. I have all the typical Aspie traits but I've learned to apply the "rules" to social situations (superficially anyway). I'm good at faking it. My doctor says it's very hard to diagnose adults for this reason. They've learned adaptations that are based on logic rather than the intuition NT's use

My dads grasp of NT social rules is natural and intuitive. Its clearly not an adaptation or script he developed to cope.

From what I can gather the lack of social skills in ASD is not being able to filter more subtle things like say someone crossing their arms to show disapproval. You can still socialize with people.

If his grasp of social mores and skills are arrived at through "intuition," it's highly unlikely that he has Asperger's.

People with Asperger's have to consciously learn social mores.

Hmmmm that could mean I don't have it. But then again I had a few "don't do that when talking to someone" moments as a kid. And I find it difficult to just jump into a conversation. Can you sort of "learn" to the point where it pretty much becomes intuitive? If not what would I have if I have most other symptoms like stimming, obsessive interests and bad anger control?

If you were a young kid, then that could be "normal." Young kids often make social mistakes.

I suppose, if an Aspergian "practices" enough, that one could, ultimately, see social cues intuitively, without having to think about it.

I think your dad could have Asperger's and learned to compensate well. When I was in primary school, I was supposedly well liked by my teachers and some classmates, even though I didn't understand any social rules. I was an annoying child . (still am)

Last edited by StampySquiddyFan on 19 Jul 2017, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Having poor emotional control and poor impulse control are not part of the AS or ASD diagnostic criteria. Most "melt downs" that people on the spectrum have involve others trying to intrude upon the person's peace or impose themselves on that person. Or putting the individual in a situation that is difficult for the person to navigate.

If there were a planet of people with AS or ASD, the NT person would likely have equal difficulty coping as those on the spectrum do in an NT world.

Your father could have any number of conditions or personality disorders.

I am tending to agree. Hes not NT, but also not an Aspie.