Do you find social misinterpretation embarrassing?

Post Reply New Topic

So, when I was diagnosed with ASD they told me mine was moderate and not mild, despite how I presented. I sort of laughed this off at the time because I felt that, while there were gaps, I was getting most things right. The thing is that was because I was missing a bunch of stuff that I was certain I was getting correct.

I am older now and have friends who tell me when I slip up and it has made me realise how little I actually know and all my confidence was on very bad foundations before. On one hand it helps me fix problems before they become serious and helps explain people's reception to me in the past, such as the fact that I didn't know you should smile at people to acknowledge them when you pass them and not just stare blankly at their face or respond with "Wait we are friends?" when someone calls you a friend (I never feel secure stating that fact in case I am wrong). On the other hand it makes conversations suddenly a lot more confusing, especially when I find that my reading is completely wrong.

For example, I accidentally said something that came out sounding sexual when that was not intended and apologised, hiding my face when I realised my mistake. I read that as an awkward situation, apparently it was just seen as amusing. I have been convinced people hate me, only to find out they were tired, sick or confused. Friendly, affectionate jokes are seen as scathing criticism. I completely miss people trying to connect/talk with me. In each case I was sure that just this once I was right in my interpretation only to find out from people there or who I explain the situation to that I was completely wrong.

I find this so embarrassing because it feels like the problem is me being arrogant enough to think I have any idea about what is happening. No one else thinks like this and people are generally very sympathetic. Do you feel the same when you make these mistakes? I think for me a lot of this comes from a lot of how I present myself is accidentally rude and I hate the idea of upsetting people, even if it is not on purpose. Thinking of people remembering me like that is painful.

Welcome to the club. But the good thing is as soon as you get this you are able to improve.

_________________
I am as I am. Life has to be an adventure!

I find social mistakes like this really embarrassing, so I can certainly relate!

I think it’s contributed to my shyness because I’m so worried I’ll flub up that I’d rather not saying anything at all.

I’ve flubbed up so many times...that I’ve come up with strategies to unflub the flubs.

One person’s flub is another person’s bon mot.

When other people do it, I think it’s charming, but when it’s me, I’m horribly embarrassed.

I get embarassed/feel stupid when I misinterpret things and also when someone asks me a question and I pause for too long to let my processing catch up. I used to mask so I wouldn’t feel stupid and was in denial that these situations happened in my life. After learning about AS I starting paying attention and noticed that people are often confused about what I’ve said but just let it go. Also embarassing. So I decided to work on how I respond to these situations. I’ve been working on my self esteem with self compassion meditation and it’s been helping in those areas and in many others. It’s also making me feel more brave and resilient and that it’s ok to have my own needs and wants and to set boundaries with people.

Heartbreaking and soul-destroying at times, more like.

I beat myself up if I fail socially, and I overanalyze it and dwell on it for days. But it depends what sort of social mistake it is. If it's the sort that an NT might do, I don't get so embarrassed about it, in fact I laugh. But if it's the kind that might make people think I'm weird or something, I get upset. I even have panic attacks and fall into depression.

Yes, I do find it embarrassing, and it happens a lot to me. I try to get past it, or compensate for it, hoping nobody makes assumptions or picks up on it. If another situation comes up like the one I screwed up in the future, I try to handle it differently, but there's no guarantee that will happen because social situations go by very quickly. It happens especially when social situations go by really fast. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at what to do in social situations but I'm still prone to faux pas.

I may understand the situation if I've had a little time to think of it, but I have a false airheaded kneejerk perception. But when multiple situations build up, it may altar someone's perception of me.

I'm usually hit or miss when I try to say something funny, and I've gotten used to that. But for some of the more embarrassing things, I'll dwell on it for a long time and even revisit years later.