Why don't I want a relationship

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Seriously though I have been thinking about it and I keep coming to the same conclusion it's me I'm the problem I try to be nice with women try to be a friend first and then take it from there but I end up getting friend zoned no wonder I can't trust women do I have a butt load of money nope do I have a nice car nope am I trying to get laid nope but women like always don't care

What are you interested in?

Develop those interests, spend more time on them, and find ways of meeting women through them. On OKCupid do you have a profile? If not create one and put all your interests on there, talk a bit about them. Wait to see if anyone else has similar interests.

Sometimes it takes time for a relationship to develop between a man and woman so if you can find something in common with her you can spend time getting to know her, and she gets to know you, and in time a bond could develop.

I tried that route I really did but I only ended up being used

Try again. Never give up.

To be honest though I know nothing about relationships. Someone else might be able to give you a better reply!

Well if you always try to be platonic friends first, its quite possible they think you've friend zoned them and thus friend zone you. I mean some people will recommend trying to make friends first, but if you are interested in dating someone I think it is best to ask them out on a date...that way your intentions are more clear. If you're just nice and friendly and 'hang out' like friends but don't like ask them out they may think you aren't interested.

It's okay I had those moments too like anyone else has, my best advice is to just have friends instead of trying to get a gf. The only reason I say that is because not everyone can be trusted....I'm not saying having a soulmate is a bad thing but not all relationships are perfect when it comes to honesty, kindness, acceptance, etc. There's other details to specific topics like this too (which I won't say). Being single isn't that bad really.

I've tried everything and nothing came out of it I've tried taking classes hell I almost paid for it if you know what I mean it has to be me at this point right

Glad to see there's other people that are more cautious when getting to know people these days. Yup i pretty much have given up finding a partner longer term wife far too batshit weird for most women to accept lol. 2017 and i find many people some men included have become so sensitive you cant even discuss bad weather. I tend to be a person who doesn't care for sensitivity's life is life, if you fart it happens.

That's another reason why I don't really want to get into a relationship anymore people are way to damn sensitive I get rejected hourly sure it sucks for a second but I get over it and I then turn that disappointment into full blown anger and I become happy again I enjoy being angry I really really do it sucks being alone I like to cuddle but when I can't trust anyone you really stop trying

If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again.

Na I'm gonna focus on myself from now on it's easier then having to put up with a woman's drama day in and day out

I'm trying to get it. You're hurt and it's easier to be angry. You said that you were taking a sabbatical to work on yourself but what is working on yourself if you're blaming all women for your poor experiences? This isn't the diatribe that "not all of us are like that!" I would have put all potential partner choices in the bracket but you've made it clear that you are clearly straight.
You honestly sound like one of those nice guys who are either not nice at all or like someone else put it, hasn't made it clear that he wants to date. Yes, some girls get spooked when guys come on too strong but others won't notice unless you're explicit. If you were doing this dating thing right or at least had the right mindset going into it: you would know that you need to be happy with yourself before you have someone else. Another person said that being single isn't so bad. And it's not. When you're not constantly trying to find satisfaction from a potential partner, you're less desperate and don't settle for whatever. Things have to happen organically. If I had someone acting as a friend but who's ultimate goal is to be ina relationship with me and I found out, I would feel more awkward than anything unless I already had romantic feelings for them. You try to bust out of a role and get upset that they feel awkward redrawing boundaries. Friend-zoned is a stupid thing because it paints the other party as a villain. They're human and feel just as awkward as you do. Sometimes you won't be "happy" per se but the end goal is someone who makes you want to be a better person. I hope you eventually find that person but by happy chance. Feelings aren't black and white and relationships are hard to navigate. Godspeed.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-yo ... e-another/

Okay obviously I have to explain why I don't trust women my ex wife would beat on me and being the fact that I will never lay my hand on a woman I let her beat on me I have had to get stitches on my arms back stomach area face and legs and after she kicked me out in the freezing cold snow I came to Indiana where I am still recovering from that ordeal

Last edited by B19 on 12 May 2017, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.: sexist rule infringement

Your ex-wife was/is a bad person. There are plenty of bad women out there. There also some good women that you only hear painted as saints. And it's crap that society doesn't take domestic abuse seriously and are even less likely when it's the man. You are allowed not to want a relationship, of that I will not begrudge you. It's hard to have an optimistic mindset after an ordeal like that. I am by no means defending such behavior and you deserve better than what you had with her, either alone or with someone else. If anything, I believe that you should report her. From miserable experiences, we can sometimes better appreciate the nicer moments (or people). You deserve to be happy with yourself and that's not easy. Maybe I'm beeing too positive. It's possible to be happy but for some reason, it's hard as hell to get there. I apologize if you found that my previous advice belitted your experiences. Again though, I hope you find happiness and if it's among people or with another person, I hope you're able to work through the doubts you have regarding human behavior in relationships.