Always right?

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Okay, so I know that this sounds conceited but I'm just trying to open a discussion.

My boss always asks me questions about our profits (I run a c-store) and I always give him an answer about 30 mins later (depending on the intricacies of the question). Without fail, he doesn't believe me and makes me do a long drawn out math formula for him and I have to explain every step to him. I have never been wrong about anything at work and he's known me for 7 years and he still cannot accept that I am an efficient worker and am able to answer questions in 1/4 of the time other people can and have never been wrong.

The same thing happens with my wife. She will say something, I will tell her that she's wrong and we will argue about it until I can drag up some proof from the internet or my various reference books. Again, I haven't been wrong about any of our arguments since the day that I met her (2.5 years ago). I don't understand why people can't just take my word for it when I have a proven track record.

I am always sure to present the correct answer because, if I am wrong, a long discussion will ensue and I do not like to talk. Of course, this doesn't work because people always disagree with me until I lose it and present them with proof.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so how do you get people to believe you?

hehe, it seems like they are slightly upset about you being always right and they are just trying it, hoping that one day you will make a mistake
make a mistake, make them happy, and maybe they will stop it but i would not do that. i could not stand it, looking at them how happy they are that finally a mistake was done.

I've experienced that problem too. People don't care much for reason or that someone has proven to be very knowledgable in general, they still let answers develop through a social process you can find in all primitive societies - what matters is someone's place in the social hierarchy, people assimilate the views of such figures to show their loyalty. Just about everyone has a decent enough brain to have some idea of what's correct or judge who knows his stuff, but the vast majority of mankind don't use their brains very much.

It's very annoying when people value political authority over scientific truth. Not only religions have dogma that goes against science, the political ideologies of today have it too.

My advice is to not make such a big deal about being right all the time. Let people have their opinions. Having a need to prove that you're right all the time will just piss people off, and with good reason. Try to be less argumentative, and people won't get so annoyed. Try to learn to let things go.

I'll echo LostInSpace.

I think (we) Aspies often have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that human nature = full of pride, and it will never change. Even if you manage to convince a particular person to stop being the way they are, there are still going to be millions of other stubborn people to aggravate us--ourselves included .

I go through the same thing in my profession as a teacher/child care worker, a lot. Inexperienced parents come up with the silliest, most ignorant, scientifically unfounded, and ineffective ideas on how to raise or discipline their children. I used to try to give them articles and refer them to good, solid sources on the issues at hand, or tell them about my years of experience on the subject. I tried phrasing things in the most gentle ways. Then I realized that 95% of the world is way more interested in feeling like they're right, than in actually informing themselves and making an educated decision (or admitting that there is no "best answer" to a problem). I just smile and nod now when people tell me about child-rearing ideas I know are going to fail.

On a more compassionate note, we're all wrong about something from time to time. I know I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I was probably just as proud and pig-headed about it as the people who try my patience today. Heck, I'm probably wrong about something right now. Hopefully we're all learning and on the road toward becoming more charitible and more humble.

Yep. If it doesn’t really impact anything on a practical level, don’t worry about proving yourself right all the time. It just alienates people and makes them think you’re an arrogant ass.

One thing I used to have a huge problem with was correcting mistakes co-workers made on common projects. I finally went to my boss (who was a pretty nice guy) and told him the best help he could give me was NO HELP AT ALL, because I spent too much time checking and fixing things when others were involved. My boss agreed, and things were much better.

I can understand being annoyed at your boss for always double-checking you. You’d hate having me as a boss... Hey! Maybe he has AS too?

I believed for some time that I was allays right, but I was not.

I think is goog to me to know that I am sometimes wrong.

I only force the issue when it is a practical matter. I have learned to let most things go. For lack of a better description, it hurts my feelings that people don't trust me.

We should also be aware that our kind usually doesn't make any statements about anything we haven't researched, unlike NT people. When we don't know, we don't claim we do, which is why we're usually right when we do say something. It's sad that not taking part in this social process with the less scientifically-minded people makes them despise us though.

Happens to me too! K here's something weird that happens all the time too. People ask me what is this, what should I do for that. Then they turn around and ask someone else! Is that normal NT behaviour? And someone had to make a point that she was smarter than me. Ok, what has that got to do with the price of peaches? I don't get that if someone comes to you and asks if this is right or how should I do that how come they don't just say "thanks" and be done with it?

Very interesting observation! While I haven't found this to be the case for all individuals with AS, I think you're on to an intriguing trend there. I certainly do adore people who have the guts to say, "gee, I don't know" intead of hazarding a guess and stubbornly sticking by it.

Honestly I think this phenomenon has less to do with being NT/AS (or with you personally), than it has to do with people's insecurities or their desire to make sure they have received the correct answer. I often ask several people for their opnions or knowledge about a given topic rather than just accepting the response of one person.

This actually has a scientific basis, as well. I can't remember who it was, but there was a famous researcher who discovered that if you average out a bunch of people's guesses, the result is often much closer to the truth than any one person's guess. For example, when guessing the number of beans in a jar. This might hold true regarding less objectively quantifiable subjects as well, I suppose.

Yeah, I sympathize with you... I guess I’ve been lucky in that most of my bosses were very hands off and as long as I got results for them, they never question me...

One thing to keep in mind is that constantly double-checking/questioning someone else probably says more about the person doing the checking than the person being checked.

I really have an unreasonable intolerance for mistakes. Any time I’ve been put in a position of responsibility for someone else I find I’m compelled to constantly check them whether I know them to be dependable or not.

I’m a total bastard to work for. Hence, I try to avoid being put in positions of authority over other people.

That is a shock to me!

I completly relate to this.It seems very insulting....like they are calling you a liar and disrespecting your analytical ability and work ethic.I dont like being called a liar.When I am unsure of my answer,I have no problem rechecking for mistakes but it would be nice to be trusted and have someone show some faith in your ability after having it proved repeatedly.(It's also time consuming and unproductive to have to constantly take time out to prove your answer(specifically at work).I think it shos lack or resepct and of course I am going to feel insulted....it IS an insult.

This is exactly why I can't stand debates. I would get into a heated argument and would possibly have an emotional outburst in order to prove that I'm right. I know that I can be wrong. I'm wrong all the time. Sometimes I feel like my comments and insights are all wrong, although I'm just trying to be helpful and honest. But yeah, I hate being wrong.