Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

josh97
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 5 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14
Location: uk

21 May 2017, 10:42 am

I am struggling with my life because I was writing goals before lists And intentions before goals and spells before intentions and trying to control things but nothing is working for me and I just want to move fowards and be happy. :cry:



fifasy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,264
Location: England

21 May 2017, 6:59 pm

Do it less gradually over time. Reward yourself with a treat every day you manage not to do it.



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

22 May 2017, 12:51 am

And feel free to use punctuation marks (commas, periods, etc) in your writing. They are your friends. :D



FandomConnection
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jun 2016
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 608

22 May 2017, 3:06 am

Are you worried you'll forget something? If so, you could try to remember one thing without writing it down. The next day, remember another thing without writing it down. Keep doing this until you can trust yourself to remember everything. Most people keep lists of things they need to do etc. in their heads, and mentally check things off as they do them. It's not much different to having a list on paper, but takes less time to make.


_________________
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

23 May 2017, 9:42 am

Sympathies - listing can get totally out of control.
I do this too - so, I have narrowed it down to restricting myself to three lists - one Things To Remember, two Things To Do, and three Today Only.
Things to remember - passwords, numbers, action I could take if something else happens, things for the future, dates, etc. Things to Do is just that - things I actually have to do. When I accomplish whatever it is, it gets deleted straight away. Today Only is just things I have to do that day, and all of it must be deleted by the end of the day whether it gets done or not, because it's Today Only. I have to keep a watch on that one, against just transplanting elements onto the next day's list and it just goes on and on and never gets anywhere.
I used to have lists for everything. Everything. It was crazy and I was always embarrassed and paranoid anyone would find out about them. I still have other superficial lists like Books, but I'm not actively listing everything anymore. I find if you restrict it, like you still have some lists but not to a crazy degree, it can actually be a useful habit and keeps you organized. You just have to keep a lid on it, be aware that it can get insane, and cull the list regularly. If something has been on there for say two months and I haven't done it, I will often force myself to delete that item, because obviously, it hasn't been done by then it likely won't be done, and the list will just start getting out of control again with all these things I never do.
If it's getting long too I often set aside time to just go through the whole list and do a much of it as I can - no excuses, no procrastinating, just do it and delete a few items at least.
I also keep all my lists in a note-taking app on my phone, with a fingerprint lock so no one else can read them. I used to have paper lists - several notebooks, pads, stacks of post-its, etc. That made me crazy paranoid that nosy people I lived with would find them, read them, get into my business and spy on me, etc. Doing it in my phone is much more discreet and private.
Listing like crazy can be managed. Just got to perfect your system.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.