Landlord / neighbor

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I moved 2 months ago to a house. The landlord I rent from lives next door. Before anything else, and even before seeing the house for rent, I told him my top priority was quiet from neighbors and that it was the reason I was moving from where I lived. I explained that I don't listen to music, own a TV set or make noise of any kind and require the same. He assured me there were no noisy neighbors around. I made a big deal of my special need for quiet and he said he understood it.

About a month after I moved in, he moved his family's garden furniture from the back of his house to right under my living room window. Of all possible spots in his garden, which is big and surrounds his whole house, he chose the tiny spot right under my window and fit the furniture against my living room wall.

It's like living with them in the same room, because they're always there and I'm always in my living room. No privacy and the noise they make is terrible. Lots of people and very noisy little kids. I can't close the window because it's terribly hot and I don't have money for A/C 24/7. I have only another 3, tiny windows in the rest of the tiny house.

Since this could not possibly be a mere oversight, I don't think the solution is to inform him that it bothers me. It's as obviously disturbing as a slap on the face. I haven't said anything to him because it feels like saying: "Could you please slap a little bit further than my face when you slap?". Again: the spot seems to have been very carefully chosen to coincide with my living room window.

Of course I'll move in 10 months when the contract ends. But I rack my brain wondering why he would do such a thing. I wonder whether out of total disregard or purposeful desire to be cruel in order to feel powerful. Any thoughts?

There is a small percentage of people for whom life is a game of causing as much grief as possible without going to jail. Other possibilities are a change in plans or opportunities, giving rise to a desire to break the lease. It could be simple oblivion, driven by available sunlight or wind shelter, and a seasonal habit. Their business plan may include collecting penalties for broken leases. Maybe you can ask around and find out their history. Good Luck!

I think I agree with dear_one that it could be game playing. Or maybe he is clueless.
I don't know what you can do in this situation. Hope you can find some solution.

Because daily living noises aren't considered *noise*. A good chunk of the population would not consider people out on a patio *noise*.

Your definition of *noisey/intrusive* is different from his.

Noisey neighbors usually means...

Late night parties
Has a machine shop in the garage going 24/7
Loud music over so many decibels
Practices Stairway to Heaven at 3 am

I've rented for 33 years. My husband has misophonia and anxiety. Daily living noises set him edge. So your situation would drive my husband insane.

My friend moved into a place where the neighbor had young kids AND a swimming
pool. I told her not to as that was a guaranteed 4 months worth of kid screaming and noise. She called the cops about the never ending screaming, and was told to STFU.
(The kids would be outside some days 8 am to 10 pm, and their play voice was full bore screaming.)

I feel your pain. It took us 6 moves to find a townhouse with cinder block walls that block out the neighbors on both sides.

I don't think the landlord is deliberate, just really clueless.

As others have said, he might be clueless and maybe this is a seasonal thing with him, to move the patio furniture to that spot once the summer starts.

On the other hand, having myself recently experienced an actual friend of mine learning of my noise sensitivity and then actually, repeatedly and deliberately utilizing that fact now to end phone conversations instead of just saying "have to go now"......I read your post with an initial interpretation of "the jerk is doing that deliberately and yes, it's a mean spirited power play."

Then I considered the clueless + seasonal possibility also.

But I'm sufficiently soured on human beings and their behavior, that nothing ought to surprise me about how deliberate some of their mean actions might actually be.

Since you may never be able to ascertain what his real motivation is, if any, the only option you have is to wait until your lease is up and then move.

I know it's going to be hard to live with the noise but just in case this IS actually a nice little earner for him -- to goad tenants into breaking their lease by whatever means he learns is their vulnerable spot (and I wouldn't put it past some people) -- then don't play into that.

Your best course is to never let him know it bothers you. If he is doing it deliberately that would give him exactly the satisfaction he's hoping for.

If you break your lease, same.

If you pretend nothing in the world is wrong, and he's doing it deliberately, you're winning his game. If he's not doing it deliberately, then okay then.

If you can borrow or buy cheap those room fans, and stand them in front of the the other windows at full blast, they can help with cooling. Don't turn on the oscillator function -- fans work best if the flow of air actually reaches your skin rather than elsewhere in the room, as they don't "cool" the room, just cool human skin and allow the sweating function to do it's own cooling of your body.

I feel for you though. Even though normal family noise is not considered problem-noise legally or otherwise, it's very hard to live with other people's noise, and you feel especially hurt since you had believed you were getting a quiet place to live, in every sense of the word as you and I understand it, not just from booming stereos at 3am. I get you, I'm the same.

At the moment I have a neighbor who spends most of the morning hours tapping something in the "shave and a haircut, two bits" pattern. It's not loud, but it is getting on my lassssssst nerrrrrrrve.

It comes about every fifteen minutes and I have no idea what or why he's doing it. Tap-tap-tah-tap-tap, tap tap. I don't know whether maybe he smokes a pipe and those have to get tapped out, or maybe he's baking and he taps his utensils on the bowl, but it's the same pattern each time.

It sets me on edge also because that is the tapping pattern many people use to knock on a door.

And even though I can hear it's not my door getting knocked on, the sound sets me into anxiety because it is the same pattern as a door knock. And I have issues with someone knocking on my door, I have since my earliest memories.

It's so freaking annoying yet nobody would say this is noise disturbance. Living around people is maddening and sometimes there is nothing we can do, but I totally agree with you this is upsetting stuff to US even if not to everyone.

Birdinflight, thank you for your great answer!

The same noise was bearable when it was just on weekends when their children and grandchildren would come to visit and they used to sit in their garden. What is unbearable is that now one of their children with her family have moved to live here at their parents' and they have moved their family meeting area to precisely under my window - to the inch. My living room is so tiny that I actually sit next to them and the noise all day, with only a window separating between us.

Now that I wrote the above I think I've had an eureka moment: it may very well be that he wants this house to give it to his daughter and family because he doesn't want them in his house!

Dear_one, I think you may be spot-on here: "Other possibilities are a change in plans or opportunities, giving rise to a desire to break the lease".

I also have a neighbour problem, and I notice that when noise comes from the friendly side, it is far less irritating. Perhaps you can just invite yourself to their gatherings whenever you are acoustically present anyway. Explain that you don't want to be eavesdropping. From there, you may become friends, which would have many benefits, or they may just move the show elsewhere. With an opening like that, you could even stay in the conversation from your own window if they just banish you there.

I like Dear One's idea of joining in! You will either make friendships which may mean more consideration in future, OR you may successfully drive them into moving their table back into their own yard!

If they have to put up with someone leaning out of the window every time, going "Oh hey there again! I heard you talking about the Target down on the highway - yeah I don't go to that one anymore since a bad experience with a manager. Is that home made lemonade?! ! That must be delicious. . ."

I'm only kidding really, as actually doing this would be a big expenditure of energy and time. But it's an amusing thought. It may actually only take a couple of times of doing something like this, to make them form their own decision that they want their table away off where it used to be.

Keep an open mind - in both directions -- about how innocent this table placement is. The landlord may well be trying to get a tenant to break their lease so that he still collects money but frees the place up for the next one, or even a family member.

OR it may be completely innocent. It's good to never rule out either possibility. Try not to let on that it bothers you though, as either way that seem to always spark the other person into even more of the same stuff that annoys.

BirdInFlight, hahaha, a friend of mine suggested the same today. I think Dear_one and my friend's idea is easier said than done, at least for someone like me who can't completely mask their real feelings. It's a perfect idea for someone with charisma, who can manage people with their charm and get them to do what they never thought they might do.
There are people like that, and the world belongs to them. They're not broke, alone and live by rent at age 55 like me, though. They're more on the Trump side, successful business people.

It would also preclude any court action as they'd claim that I actually welcomed the situation. I lean more on the side of stink bombs every now and then. The one that smells like horrible cheap perfume. They can't sue me for a bad taste in after-shower body lotion...

I think next time I'll try to rent from someone who relies on the rent money to pay the mortgage. These people here are rich and don't mind the house being vacant for several months each time. I've seen it myself, they just neglect advertising the houses till someone reminds them. They're also bored and feeling disposable as a result of retirement and very willing to go through that small expense for a power trip. This kind of people even welcome being sued, as it gives them some attention and somewhere to go to when their lives are otherwise being only sitting cows milked every day by their children and grandchildren for money.

By the way, if I had anyone to invite over, I bet they wouldn't say that it could be an innocent mistake. It's much too obvious, like someone choosing to sit elbow-to-elbow with you on the beach when you two are the only people on the whole beach. It'd sound stupid to say "Could you please move a few inches away?" The natural, logical reaction would be "What do you think you're doing?". This is why I haven't said anything to the landlord. Because asking him if he could move the arrangement a bit would sound stupid. To sound normal, I should actually say something like: "I can't believe you moved the family right under my window of all places! Why would you do such a thing?!"

What kind of music do you like? If it's something a bit unusual like Mongolian throat singing you could set up your CD player just below the window and put the repeat button on.

Hahaha, going to check out Mongolian throat singing now. I did that with Techno Trance but they got offended. For this weekend I have Gregorian chant and Arabic disco. I'm sure they'll be delighted!

LOL thank you bumbleme, that's exactly what I need!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rmo3fKeveo