I found this site when searching for other people who have difficulty initiating and maintaining conversations. I've been frustrated with this most of my life. When I was a kid, and I tried to explain this to my parents, they told me I was introverted or had social anxiety. But, that doesn't match what I'm experiencing because I actually find it easier in groups than one-on-one sometimes because other people help maintain the conversation, whereas on my own I can struggle with overthinking or planning the words and ideas in my head or running out of things to say if I can't go off of what the other person says. I used to have to do interviews for some freelance work, and that was actually easier than a social conversation because it requires advance planning beforehand, whereas if you meet someone socially just for a coffee, most people don't plan their conversation topics out first. It's also far easier for me to communicate in writing (e-mail, text msg, online, etc. than spontaneously verbally (either in person or on the phone).
Could this fit with an autism spectrum diagnosis or other diagnosis? Where would I go from here if it does? For anyone else who has experienced this, how do you deal with how difficult it makes it to sustain relationships and meeting society's requirements sometimes that you have people that can vouch for knowing you (i.e. references for jobs/volunteering, references for housing, seeming more "normal" with friends etc.) It's hard to explain that relationships (at work, with friends, in community groups) don't work the same as for others and can deteriorate, partially because of difficulties in communication.
26 Jun 2017, 2:25 pm
